Back in my last life when I taught first grade, I used to read "Which Witch Is Which" to my students around Halloween. For some reason, when I watch this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the same question resonates in my head! Is it the actual Wiccan Carlton Gebbia? Kyle Richards for her comments? Brandi Glanville? I just don't know anymore. Of course, Carlton thinks there is no bigger bwitch (my new hybrid word) in 90210 than Splits and Joyce Giraud. I think someone needs to Escape from Witch Mountain! Who's with me? Kim? (Sorry, couldn't resist!).
In her Bravo blog, Carlton has had enough of the judgment and hypocrisy, so she goes and does the proper amount of judgment towards Kaftan Kyle herself. Perhaps these ladies should be friends as they seem to act in the same general manner!
Good gravy, Scheana Marie is quite a piece of work. The Vanderpump Rules waitress and sometimes pop star wannabe has certainly gotten down the rules of Bravolebrity as she dishes on her upcoming wedding. Will it be televised? Scheana hopes so! Someone call Andy Cohen!
Of course, Scheana is smart enough to know (did I just type that?) to scoff at the idea of a wedding spin-off…nice way to beat the network to the punch of NOT asking you to have one! In the wise words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
Yolanda was getting some flak on Twitter and in the blogs because she and Gigi only took a teeny nibble of a cake crumb. Yolanda wanted us all to see why. It was all in the name of a modeling gig – and a pretty big one! Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition big!
Leave it to Love & Hip Hop'sErica Mena to say something so foul that even I am offended, and I am not easily offended at all. You can't watch what I have to watch and get grossed out easily, right? 😉 As you know, Erica's story line was her new lesbian relationship with Cyn Santana and the resulting love triangle with former beau and sometimes manager Rich Dollaz.
After a volatile season and reunion, even Cyn seemed convinced that Erica was still head over heels in love with Rich. Of course, after lots of screaming and Rich acting like b*tch (seriously dude, just be a gentleman), Erica swore up and down that her feelings were gone. He had hurt her one time too many and only seemed to want her when he couldn't have her. I mean, he did, but she still had a girlfriend. Y'all know. Like me, no matter how insane it gets, you can't get enough of it. I blame Mona Scott Young!
Everything Housewives gets "gated". And here on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we have graduated from cheating-gate, and hair-gate, and lastminutecancellation-gate, to necklace-gate; and most excitingly: you'recursed-gate. It's been a while since we've had a good curse on Housewives #Season1CamilleGrammer #Pernicious.
So that's what we're dealing with here and like sand through the hourglass these here are the days of our caftans. Cause you know, Kyle Richards was on Days of Our Lives for a splits richards second.
Anyway, Brandi Glanville has a problem with her tongue and her mouth and her speech and her general planet trashiness was affected by wonky aspirin. Which is a good thing because she also has a problem with *gasp* Lisa Vanderpump. Appprrrrrntly, Lisa holds within her bejeweled hands the power to deport people, destroy their lives, poison their aspirin, and dig up their ex-husband's long-dead mistress from the grave to release her from her coffin on the very moment when you walk into a Bravo-sponsored season finale party at her restaurant. Or something like that that. Cause if anyone knows how to work a good curse it's not plastic tits on a tan witch Snarlton Gebbia, but Giggy-loving Lisa!
Stassi explains her plans for any possible return if there is a season 3 of the show, "I've moved to New York. I've been blogging for other sites and now I've been developing my own. I'm really excited about that. I'm working with different accessory and jewelry brands with styling. And that's where I'm at. I'm not gonna go waitress again. I'm kind of just doing me and doing what makes me happy. "
When she doesn't really answer about returning to the show, Andy says, "I hope we can figure out a way to see you back there somehow".