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Once upon a time there was a woman named Pinot Singer who thought she knew a lot about everything and thought no one could see through her. Pinot believed her life was like one of those double-sided mirrors where from one side it looked like a window and from the other side it looked like a mirror. She assumed she could clearly see people and they could see only goodness through her eyes.

Pinot believed  she reflected goodness, honesty, truthfulness, and pleasant goodwill. Pinot was wrong. Pinot is delusional, but delusion is a powerful drug – more powerful than pinot grigio, that’s for sure!

Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies assembled for a mid-day brunch, everyone but Pinot and LuAnn de Lesseps. Thank goodness. I’m not sure what time it was, but there they all were; this gaggle of desperate famewhores (and Carole Radziwill) all dressed up as if they were going to a nightclub when it was 1 in the afternoon, outside, in a dowtown restaurant.

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As if the Kardashian family isn’t overexposed enough, the Queen of Talk, Oprah Winfrey herself, felt compelled to give them yet another platform from which to spew their ridiculousness. Thanks a heap, O.  Couldn’t you just stick to book clubs and giveaways?  UsWeekly reports on the interview’s highlights.

Questioning Kim about her blink-and-you-missed-it wedding to Kris Humphries and career catapulting sex tape with Ray J, the reality mogul oh so eloquently replies, “I’ve obviously made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime, but I’m not the type to sit and beat myself up over it.  If a real lesson was learned, I’m so okay with having experienced that.”

CAUTION!  Before you read what comes next you may want to arm yourself with some sort of trash receptacle or barf bag.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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The rule of thumb for VH1?  If a show brings the brawls and the drama, by all means give it a spin-off!  The most recent phenomenon is Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta.  After a very glossy introduction, it seems more like I’m watching night time soap (which, let’s call a spade a spade…) than a reality show.  The series promises a lot of skin, a lot of crying, and, of course, a lot of drama.  This isn’t Bravo’s Atlanta, that’s for sure, although I’d love to see a Phaedra Parks crossover since she’s friends with Rasheeda.  Make it happen, Apollo!

We meet Mimi Faust and her boyfriend of fifteen plus years, Grammy winning record producer Stevie J.  They have a two-year-old daughter together, and Mimi is more than ready for her beau to step up to the plate.  Mimi is done turning a blind eye to his after-hour antics.  After over fifteen years, I’d say he’s probably used to getting his own way.  Stevie surprises Mimi with a beautiful home way outside of Atlanta for her and their daughter.  Basically, he wants to move her far away so he can “do him” in the ATL.  She wishes that he wanted the house to be for the three of them, and he seems to think she is being ungrateful.  So, I’m guessing we’re going to watch yet another season of women who complain that the men in their lives are dirty dogs, yet they do nothing to change their situation.  Glad I tuned in!

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Do the stars of  Teen Mom ever make any good decisions? Ever? Seriously… Anyway in the newest ridiculous story, Chelsea Houska allegedly has big plans to pose for Playboy!

Last week, RadarOnline reported that Chelsea’s brand new website, which she had hired a designer to build, had been shut down for unpaid bills. Chelsea denies that of course, tweeting:  “I decided to not work with the person running it and obviously they’re a little butt hurt.”

Well now the spurned and looking for a check web designer is spilling some secrets about Chelsea – including that she is angling to be a centerfold!

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This week on The Bachelorette, Emily Maynard and her minions are in Croatia.  The previews suggest that Ryan Bowers is the punching bag of the week.  Also, we should expect lots of kissing and some drama at the rose ceremony.  Could it be?  Really for real – the most shocking rose ceremony ever?!?

According to Jef Holm, Croatia is the perfect place to fall in love.  I beg to differ.  I met my (now) husband at Wal-Mart 16 years ago, and he’s been wooing me ever since.  Croatia vs. Wal-Mart – really, it’s no contest.  The always-classy Wal-Mart wins, right? If Emily insists on making it complicated, we might as well see what Croatia has to offer.

Emily surprises the guys by hand delivering the first date card.  It goes to Travis Pope and reads, “Let’s look for love beyond the walls.”  Travis was engaged once before.  He says, “When it didn’t work out, it was the lowest point in my life.”  Lower than befriending an ostrich egg and naming it Shelly?  Wow.  That must have been really low.

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Bethenny Frankel may be over reality TV, but that doesn’t mean she’s not involved. The hubris that is Bethenny is now taking credit for helping to get Jill Zarin fired to hire Aviva Drescher on Real Housewives of New York!

Speaking to the NY Daily News, Bethenny says that she is responsible for Aviva getting her new job! “I actually cast one of them,” she claims. “I cast Aviva. I’m the reason she’s on the show.”

Bethenny says she knows Aviva through a mutual friend. “She is from the upper East Side of Manhattan and was married to somebody that I know,” Bethenny shares. Please tell me Bethenny didn’t also sleep with Aviva’s ex-husband, Harry! “She just seemed like she’d be a good character. She seemed like she’d be part of some drama also on the show.”

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Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell definitely put those baby rumors to rest! The reality star has gone through a major weight loss!

Catelynn and her fiance Tyler Baltierra took to Twitter to show off her new slim figure!  Catelynn writes, “Ohhhh look at me now!!!” and Tyler gushed over her new figure, too.  Tyler posted the shot of her in the red tank top with “See her now! ‪#freakingloveher”.

Catelynn should be proud, she looks fantastic!  I wonder if she’ll share what successful plan she used to achieve her weight loss.  I’m thinking she did it the old fashion way – with diet and exercise.  Catelynn Tweeted that she’s been hitting the gym.  “At the gym! #feelingsexyandfree”.

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