I know I sound like a broken record with every recap of Teen Mom 2, but these girls are a broken record, so it's technically not my fault. Jenelle Evans keeps going back to Keiffer (and weed), and Chelsea Houska just can't get Adam's name from escaping her mouth every two seconds. Leah Messer Simms Calvert can't make up her mind between Corey and Jeremy, and Kailyn Lowry can't contain her growing jealously for Jo's girlfriend Vee. It's the exact same thing every week…except they are wearing different PINK sweat pants! Let's get started dishing on last night's episode, shall we?
Not surprisingly, Jenelle hasn't seen Jace or Barbara since she got off probation. She and Keiffer are happy to be back together and smoking up a storm…even though she's trying to keep things under control. Yeah, right. She asks him what will be different this time around, and he assures her that it won't. Um, what? Kidding! He's been in jail, and she's gone to rehab. They have grown up so much. Jenelle still wants to take things *slow.*
Kailyn and Jo are heading back to court to discuss custody. She doesn't want Vee around Isaac. Ever. I hope the judge kicks Javi to the curb if he agrees to that. Could she want a bigger double standard? Jo calls to reveal that he is moving to New Jersey to be closer to work, but it won't affect any of the drop offs or custody arrangements. He plans to stay with his parents whenever he has Isaac. Kailyn sullenly reminds him that she will NOT drive an extra hour to accommodate his new living arrangement. Jo politely reminds her that she won't have to…wasn't she listening thirty seconds ago? He is also unsure whether Vee will be moving in with him. Oh gracious! Again, I love how Kailyn threatened to move to Texas so Jo wouldn't get to see Isaac often, yet Jo moving an hour away and changing nothing is so horrible. Plus, hasn't she been complaining that he needs to move out of his parents' house? At his new apartment, Jo shares his frustrations about Kailyn with Vee. Jo isn't ready for Vee to move in yet. Is he the most mature one on the show?
Girls, girls, girls! I have all but given up on the young "ladies" of Teen Mom 2. Let's not even start with Jenelle Evans' recent rehab stint…let's just talk about the bad decisions they made in last night's episode alone! Get it together, Kailyn Lowry! Pick a guy, Leah Calvert Sims Messer! Do something about your hair, Chelsea Houska! And Jenelle? In all seriousness. Get off Twitter and get your life together for that precious little boy! Whew…it felt good to get that off my chest!
Last night's episode begins with Kailyn prepping for her first exchange with Jo in weeks. She's had Isaac to herself for almost a month while waiting on their hearing. Now that the protection from abuse order is dropped, she isn't excited to drop Isaac off because she knows that she and Jo won't speak. Kailyn is livid thinking about the fact that Jo has his girlfriend around their son. She puts Isaac before her, Javi and her friends…even when Javi is spending the night. It's not the same as selfish Jo continuing to live with his family and hang out with Vee once a week. Why can't anyone see the difference? Geez! I can't help but notice two things–Kailyn is getting very dolled up to see her ex, and she seems to be taking her tanning cues from Chelsea and Leah. Orange you glad that Kailyn got a spray tan? The trade-off is very tense, and Kailyn informs Jo that Isaac has a cold. If he takes their son to the doctor, he'd better let her know!
Jenelle hasn't spoken to Gary since she found out that he hooked up with Tori before they started dating. She's looking forward to getting off probation so she can fall back into the Keiffer trap. He's texted her that it's them and Jace against the world. Let's leave sweet Jace out of this, shall we Keiffer? Her roommate wonders why Jenelle is even giving Keiffer the time of day. She's re-evaluated the pros and cons between Keiffer and Gary, and while Gary has a job and a car, Keiffer is nice to her. He's getting his act together…and by "getting his act together" she means that he's no longer incarcerated.
Another day in the life of the girls of Teen Mom 2's craziness. I feel like the girls are starting to morph into one another. Leah Messer Simms Calvert is starting to act a lot like Chelsea Houska when it comes to getting over old boyfriends, and Kailyn Lowry is getting to know the inside of courtroom almost as familiarly as Jenelle Evans. What is going on with these girls? Let's get on with it, shall we?
It's been nearly two weeks since Kailyn or Isaac has seen Jo. The hearing for her Protection From Abuse Order is coming up, and Kailyn is going to see her lawyer to prevent Jo from harassing her. However, she admits to her friend that she really just filed it to prove her point. Once at the attorney's office, her lawyer asks that her friend remove Isaac from the meeting so they aren't talking about his dad in front of him. Kailyn suggests that the pair take anger management classes, and her attorney recommends a co-parenting class the two could take together. Kailyn's eyes light up at the thought of it…more time with Jo!
At her new digs, Chelsea is caking on the make-up and trying not to think about the fact that Aunt Flo still hasn't made her monthly visit. She hasn't talked to Adam since they hooked up, but Chelsea can't worry about him as it's her first day of beauty school and Aubree's first day of daycare. She is such a cute little girl, and I only hope that her mother's whining won't screw her up for years to come. You can practically see the excitement in Aubree's eyes as she's passed off to the daycare administrator. "Freedom!"
It's hard for Jenelle to focus on schoolwork now that Kieffer's out of jail. She explains to a friend that she would probably be with Kieffer if Gary wasn't in the picture, but Kieffer isn't what is best for her. Gary has a job and a car, so he's clearly the mature choice.
Let's get started with the stupidity, shall we? Chelsea's friend comes by to visit, and Chelsea whines that her IUD fell out the other day when she was going to the bathroom. TMI. Her friend inquires as to whether Chelsea saw her doctor, but Chelsea didn't have time…Adam came over to see her for the first time in ages. Not shockingly, they pair ends up getting it on…sans condom, of course. Don't worry, y'all. She won't get pregnant because he pulled out before finishing. TMITMITMITMI!!!! I wonder how she thinks Aubree came to be…Her friend urges her to make better choices, and Chelsea whines that she doesn't have her normal "giddy for Adam" feelings. That's definitely something to be proud of as you await your period, moron!
At least Kailyn is making better choices, right? Oh wait…no. She gets upset that Jo's girlfriend is over at his house when she drops off Isaac, and she and Jo get into a physical altercation that ends with her filing for a temporary order of protection from abuse. Violence is not the answer, but I will never understand her double standard of allowing Javi around Isaac after one date while Jo's serious girlfriend is a problem. Kailyn's friend Mark (who is totally in love with her) comes over to hear her story. Mark tries to give her some sound advice, but she won't listen. I can't believe the language she uses in front of her son. Kailyn explains that she'll have temporary full custody until their hearing in two weeks. Mark just seems totally befuddled at his friend's behavior.
It's that special time of the season we've been waiting on for what seems like eons…the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Last night, the girls and their children/parents/boyfriends/users sat down for a two hour chit chat with MTV's resident "therapist" Dr. Drew Pinsky. Wait…what's that you say? It wasn't the season finale? Mid-season finale? What the–? I have never heard of such a thing. You know what this means, right?
Of course, leave it to MTV to make sure the true finale will be total chaos. Next week the insanity of broken relationships, drug abuse, and violence spirals out of control when we are treated to the midseason premiere. I can't keep up, so let's just focus on last night's drama, shall we? Take it away, Dr. Drew!
So, we are in the midst of what may be the longest stint of Teen Mom 2 in the history of the world. Last night's "mid-season finale" was even ninety minutes long…because it takes a long time to bid farewell to Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer Calvert, Chelsea Houska, and Kailyn Lowry. Not that they will be gone for long…we'll be treated to a two-hour reunion special next Monday, and then another twelve episode arc starts the week afterwards. That's when the true crazy is going to begin!
Last night's episode begins with a phone call from Jeremy. Leah, shocked she got pregnant so quickly (must I remind her of her first date with Corey?), has yet to tell him the good news. Jeremy is also in disbelief that it happened so fast, but he's nervous and excited. Leah commends Jeremy on waiting until he was the ripe old age of twenty-three to have a child…not sixteen like she was.
Chelsea is taking Aubree to check out day cares in the event she passes her GED and gets to start "hair school." Man, she's even whiny when questioning the day care instructor! The director calms her fears regarding leaving Aubree for the first time and stresses the need for Aubree to socialize at this age. Chelsea smacks her gum in agreement.
Kailyn is prepping for Isaac's second birthday and spending a lot of time with Javi. Why are guys drawn to her blunt sarcasm? Javi wonders if he'll ever get out of the friend zone. Kailyn assures him that being invited to Isaac's party is a good sign. Meanwhile, Jo and his new girlfriend are discussing how well Jo and Kailyn have been co-parenting lately. They are, however, having separate parties for their son. Jo wants Kailyn to meet his girlfriend, and his girlfriend thinks that Kailyn would want to know who is hanging around her son. She offers to write Kailyn a letter to break the ice.
Is it just me, or do these girls get dumber the longer this season of Teen Mom 2 continues? It's like, they do something stupid, and I'm convinced that they can't top their own stupidity, and then BAM! The next episode happens, and they've proven me wrong. Case in point…on last night's episode, Leah Messer Calvert took out her IUD because she wants her kids to be close in age. Pay no attention to the fact that at this point she's only known Jeremy for two months. Jenelle Evans admits she slept with her best friend's boyfriend around the time she got pregnant, so she doesn't know for certain who Jace's father is. Chelsea Houska was more concerned about Adam's twenty-first birthday than studying for her GED, and Kailyn Lowry brought yet another dude into Isaac's life. I can't wait to see what they have in store for us next week!
After the twins' birthday party, Leah drops off the twins with Corey. He's lamenting (well, not really…he's be lamenting if he knew what it meant) about what to get the girls for their birthday since they already have every toy under the sun. Leah tells him she got them a Barbie jeep before riding off into the sunset for a romantic getaway with Jeremy. They head up to a cabin in the mountains, and Leah is blown away by the coziness of it all. Plus, there's a hot tub! Jeremy sneakily hides what I'm assuming is an engagement ring in a vase in the den. I'm just glad these crazy kids are taking it slow.
Jo has Isaac for the weekend, and Kailyn has a date with Javi. I'm getting that Kailyn's favorite restaurant is a diner. Javi is studying criminal justice in school, and he wants to be a cop. They flirt, eat, and cut to the chase as far as dating, Isaac, and Jo are concerned. Seriously, what is up with these girls throwing themselves into relationships? It's a breakfast date, not an interview for a spouse.
We are now officially ten episodes into this season of Teen Mom 2, and I worry that there is no end in sight. All of the girls seem to be mirroring each other's behavior. Jenelle Evans moves, then Leah Messer moves. Jenelle drops out of school, Leah drops out of school. Kailyn Lowry gets a new place, Chelsea Houska wants a fenced-in backyard. I guess I should be glad that they are all pretty interchangeable, right?
Kailyn has decided against moving to Texas to be fair to Jo. He is excited to hear that she plans to stay in Pennsylvania. She informs him that when her lease is up, she plans to look for another home about twenty minutes away. Does Jo minds driving twenty minutes back and forth to see his son? Um, I think Jo is glad that he doesn't have to travel back and forth to Texas! While Jo has Isaac, Kailyn decides to go bowling with Gigi and some of her friends. Kailyn is paired up with Gigi's friend Javi, and she thinks he's really cute…cute enough to marry?