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Last night was the second part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion. While we weren't treated to family feuds of epic proportions (thank the good lord) we were treated to pirate scandals, bootylicious lovin, toaster ovens, and daddy drama. Oh and a few alcoholic accusations. All in all it was a good show and the ladies played their parts well. 

First off LuAnn de Lesseps is in the hotseat over her affairs of the piratekind. Toe-mah or Thomas depending on when the put-on airs slip, was merely a ride home and a late-night cocktail partner. Here's her story: LuAnn alleges that she did stay late at the club partying with her "Italian friends" but then Tomas offered her a ride home under the pretenses of seeing the villa. Was he drinking? I'm confused that she would go home with someone who had been drinking. 

She DID go into Heather Thomson's room around 3am and wake her up, inviting her to have a drink with she and Tomas. Heather was like bitch I need my beauty rest. LuAnn insists nothing happened, it all looked bad, and she lied to spare the wrath and prying accusations of Pinot Singer. THAT is about the only part of the story I fully believe. 

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Last night Andy Cohen hosted a special Watch What Happens Live one-on-one special with Jill Zarin. So, if you wanted 20 minutes of Jill rambling unfiltered I know you tuned in! Jill was acting a little erratic last night, I guess she was um… really emotional about Real Housewives of New York

I, of course, watched – tornados transporting me to Oz couldn't keep me away – and here's my thoughts on what happened. First of all I was sort of surprised Andy let Jill go so far with some of her allegations. It wasn't live, it was pre-recorded so the network definitely let her air ALL her grievances and expose what I thought was some pretty scandalous things about how filming works and behind the scenes dealings. 

Secondly, Jill was either nervous or I don't know what but she rambled and ranted tangentially for the entire segment. Andy barely got a word in and he was checked out, although composed (and bemused), in a way I've never seen him act before. Jill of course basically complained that she was fired, whined it wasn't fair, and insisted viewers want her back and didn't connect with the new women because we don't know them. She actually said viewers were boycotting her firing – and Alex McCord's. 

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I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this post, but we all know that the Kardashian Klan must constantly work to stay in the spotlight.  With so many of them, it's like a revolving door of gossip.  Bless 'em. 

Because things always seem to happen in threes, I have a trio of entertainment to share with you, dear readers.  There's a storm a' brewin' on the set of X Factor as now-confirmed hosts Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez are having a difficult time fitting their giant wardrobes–and their egos!–into their dressing rooms.  Of course, at least they HAVE dressing rooms.  Word on the street is that Kim Kardashian and sister Kourtney will have to slum it on the upcoming season of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami due to a slight "misunderstanding" with South Beach.  That misunderstanding being that no one in South Beach wants the Kardashian sisters around.

Last but not least, rapper Kanye West was visiting his girlfriend in her new digs when he found himself competing for attention with her former beau NFL player Reggie Bush.  It's like an awesomely bad episode of Melrose Place

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Since former Real Housewives of New York star Jill Zarin is getting some press over her upcoming appearance on Watch What Happens Live, she figured she should milk it for all it's worth!

Jill is going to sit down with Andy Cohen on Monday to finally hash things out about why she was fired from the show last September.  So, in the spirit of famewhoring, she invited a paparazzo inside Zarin Fabrics yesterday for a little "improptu" photo shoot.

Happy Friday. 

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Oh you few fans of Jill Zarin – it's a happy day! And you many detractors, many apologies for the news I am about to report. Jill Zarin will finally get her day in the sun! Jill will return to Bravo for one night only in an appearance on Watch What Happens Live where Andy Cohen will interview the notorious redhead about being fired! You know you'll be watching. I will be! 

Next Monday, Jill will finally get some PR approved answers for why she was fired from Real Housewives of New York! “I feel like they killed me off and I didn’t get to say goodbye,” Jill confides to the NY Daily News. 

“I’m really grateful even though it’s 15 months overdue,” she shares. “I’m going to ask him why I was fired.” Jill admits she's ready to let go, but she still has some questions.

Most specifically what led to the mass lay-offs. Jill reveals she's been told "poor focus group testing" for the fourth season reunion of the show was the main reason behind the network's decision. However, Jill blames poor editing for the very negative direction that season took. 

ANDY COHEN SPILLS ON THE REASON BEHIND RHONY FIRINGS! 

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Last night was the first segment of the Real Housewives of New York reunion. There was a definite divide between the demeanor of the veterans and the demeanor of the newbies last night. And by that, I mean the oldies came prepared to fight, get vicious, down and dirty while the newbies obviously didn't do their research and came prepared to recap the season and discuss. 

Reunions are both my favorite shows to watch and my least favorite to recap. My favorite to watch because we get an unfiltered glimpse of the ladies, but they're a real beast to recap because the accusations are flying and the screaming is coming at you from all sides. Meanwhile I'm just trying to assess what everyone is wearing and who looks the worst. In the case of RHONY that award always, without fail, goes to Pinot Singer and last night was no exception. 

I'm pretty sure the Project Runway "Unconventional Materials" challenge dress Pinot wore was constructed from old plastic bags on the top and my grandmother's living room sheers on the bottom. All dyed Crayola royal blue. Madame, you are in need of an intervention. Please refrain from drinking and dressing for the duration. 

So, let's get this thing going, shall we?

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It's not enough for the Real Housewives of New Jersey to "entertain" us with a three-part reunion.  Oh no, we have to be faced with all of them in the media on every single day of the week.  I'm going back and forth like a pair of windshield wipers in a monsoon, that's for sure.  After the second installment of the reunion, I'm just in shock.  I was mortified and humiliated for Teresa Giudice for every second that Juicy Joe was on that couch.  I was sick that Jacqueline Laurita called out such personal things in their marriage, but I honestly think she was provoked.  Shame on both of them.

Melissa Gorga is every bit as manipulative as her sister-in-law, which I've always believed.  Again, she's just so much better at learning to keep her mouth shut to play the victim.  Kathy Wakile has her baked goods, so I'm happy for her.  I've never come out and said it (and I'm ready for the backlash…kind of…sort of…maybe), but Caroline Manzo doesn't bother me.  I get when people say she's too into her grown kids, and I understand that she may play the matriarch card to a ridiculous degree.  However, do I think she's a bully?  Not entirely.  I just think she has a very low tolerance for BS.  Y'all can call it saving face (and maybe it is, what do I know?), but I think she has been nothing but rational and even-keeled during this train wreck of a reunion.  When Teresa started bowing down on the table, thanking God that her former friends were out of her life, I couldn't believe what I was watching.  Bravo will probably enlist Dr. Sophy next, mark my words.  Perhaps the world is ending with the Mayan calendar…

So, after an ill-fated extra hour on Andy Cohen's sofas, the women have retreated to their multi-media outlets to wage battle once again.  Whether it's Twitter, their personal web sites, or gossip blog interviews, it seems a lot easier to spew the hate when no one is screaming across the set.  They're all doing it, don't get me wrong…but Teresa has had some gems in the last twenty-four plus hours.

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Here's the conclusion I've come to regarding Real Housewives of New Jersey. Before the show, these women were nothing but actual Housewives – and they gossiped and talked about each other, themselves, their friends and family. They've known each other a long time and the past runs deep.

I'm positive they've confessed things to each other and about each other that they never thought would see the light of day on national TV. And even more so I imagine they can't even remember half of what they said to each other and so it's a constant cycle of backtracking, justifying, and irrational behavior. 

This makes them all liars. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. Them. Not calculated liars, but circumstantial ones. But because none of them can behave like human beings they all look bad. 

I'm positive all the anti- Teresa Giudice people are going to say I'm a biased for saying this, but who cares (to quote Juicy Giudice). I feel bad for her and this show has destroyed her life. Just as Jacqueline Laurita is not cut out for this, neither is Teresa. I recently watched some clips of S1 and S2 and she is a completely different woman. Teresa has lost her light and has become severe and harsh. This show has consumed her – and it's really unflattering. 

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