Coachella. It is where rich kids go and pretend they are hippies… err, um, rich kids… and a few reality stars who want to party like it’s 1969. It’s all very odd to me. I think Bethenny Frankel summed it up perfectly:
“So someone invited me to #douchella & I got overwhelmed,” she tweeted. “Isn’t it for 22 yr old models with suede purses & flower crowns?”
The Vanderpump Rules reunion has come and gone. Despite the fighting and the accusations, Tom Sandoval says the cast is still friends and knows how “ridiculous” they behave. Although he does call out some of these so-called close friendships as being more like allies than true friendships.
Clearing the air about some of what went down at the reunion, Tom’s animosity towards Kristen Doute came from something he recently learned. Tom explains, “Two weeks prior to shooting the reunion, I found out that Kristen had slept with my best friend and former band mate while we were together.” Kristen “of course” denied this.
On part 3 of the Vanderpump Rules reunion, James Kennedy gave out “ass holes” galore. Most of them deserved. Although James calling anyone an asshole is the very definition of “irony” – look it up in the Bravo Dictionary! Far from being The White Kanye West, James is more accurately the less stupidly-haired Donald Trump.
Alas, before James opens his can of asshole with the index finger of doom, Stassi Schroeder argues with Lisa Vanderpump about her sex tape. Did we ever figure out why the hell Stassi Does Dildos is only worth $900? Honestly I would expect it to be more like $9.99 clearance, but I mean, whatever whets your whistle! Stassi accuses Lisa of asking her parents to repay the money, and is furious Lisa didn’t demand Stassi’s”ex-boyfriend” sign a contract after getting paid, nor did LVP get the footage back. Exactly what was Stassi doing while Lisa was combing the slums of Beverly Hills like an Archer episode to recon a sex tape absolutely no one butScheana Marie wanted to watch?
No one cares about Stassi and her sex tape, (except for Kristen Doute, who keeps trying to interrupt until Lisa instructs her to “shut up”).
Ariana Madix has had a weird season on Vanderpump Rules and I’m sure she’s glad to put this one behind her and hopefully move on to better one next time. She shared her thoughts on part 2 of the reunion – including her current friendship status with Scheana Marie, why she thinks Stassi Schroeder came back to the show and more.
On why Ariana feels this cast is so toxic, “The poisonous gossip that occurs regularly within this group of people will suck your soul dry if you let it. Gossip and feeding off of other people’s shortcomings is an addictive thing, but it makes me feel horrible about the life I’m living. I’ve been a witness to it, a participant in it, and a victim of it. It feels like an endless cycle of hurting and forgiving each other.”
Since we’re starting out with the worst, Andy replays footage of James Kennedy getting eaten alive by SUR hostess Lauren, then coming to work proudly showing off his battle wounds. He’s a survivor! Lisa Vanderpump was unimpressed. The best part was learning that Lauren’s boyfriend, hot bartender Anthony, dumped her over the incident. Ouch – getting dumped for James has gotta hurt!
Last night was the beginning of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Lisa Vanderpump is dressed like a “school marm” but it’s really quite ridiculous and hideous. Lala Kent got her makeup done at the circus, from the elephants who can paint – it’s pink, sparkly and reminds me of Tammy Faye Baker.
BTW: When is Kristen Doute gonna admit to getting her boobs done? She’s got them out every 15 seconds just waiting for someone [ANDY COHEN] to notice and comment, but alas the satisfaction is not being given.
The major topics up for discussion are James Kennedy‘s drunken excesses and the mysteriously unexplained reasons Jax Taylor despises him. Kristen’s apology tour, and lastly Scheana Marie being the worst wife in the world. Apparently she’s just not educated on addiction – which is why she never bothered to you know CALL A THERAPIST or Google NA meetings!
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules reunion, part one, dedicated a fair amount of time to rehashing Scheana Marie and Mike Shay‘s troubled first year of marriage. While Shay battled a Vicodin addiction off camera, Scheana turned to her paid castmates friends for support. How Scheana spoke about sobriety (Don’t be a sober bore!) and her apparent non-support for Shay’s sober aspirations (Here, have a vodka-soaked tampon!) got her into a lot of hot water with the viewing public.
Now Scheana is backtracking – ScheanaStyle! Which means she feels sort of bad…but not really. (Wait – is it all Stassi Schroeder‘s fault!? Yeah, let’s blame her!) She reflects, “I don’t like to have regrets. I live and learn and I learned a lot this year watching the show back and seeing the negative feedback. I will say that I’m thankful for how hard this past year was because it humbled me and made me look at things from an outside perspective. A lot of things I said were taken out of context and that was extremely frustrating. I never meant to come off as unsupportive or uneducated.”