Good news – maybe?! – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has already been renewed. Bad news – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast won’t change much for season seven. Why can’t we have nice things?
Earlier today, Bravo announced the six new and fourteen returning shows that will fill its summer and fall schedules. Obviously, RHOBH is on the list for fall. It will be a while before the cast is set in stone and revealed; however, when a fan tweeted @ Andy Cohen that Lisa Rinna, Yolanda Foster, Erika Girardi, and Eileen Davidson must go, he replied, “No way!”
Are y’all still with me? If you haven’t taken a sledgehammer to your phone/tablet/computer because of Andy‘s bad judgementTweet, look below to find out what other questionable choices goodies Bravo has in store for viewers.
I’m not trying to wish away the year, but I am certainly ready for spring and summer. Luckily for me, the high today in Charleston is a sunny 80 degrees, and Bravo’s line-up is heating up as well! Not only is my guiltiest pleasure, Southern Charm (more on that in the coming days!), premiering on April 4th, Chef Ben Robinson is returning with a new crew (and a new locale) for Below Deck Mediterranean which starts on May 3rd.
Keeping with Bravo’s trusted boating formula of mixing hot crazy people and lots of alcohol in confined spaces, the fresh yachties will face hook-ups and high maintenance charter guests against the gorgeous backdrop of the Greek islands, including Santorini and Mykonos. Ben will be the only familiar face, and I’ll certainly miss Captain Lee, the Stud of the Sea, but I can’t wait!
“He’s Captain Lee (Captain Lee, Captain Lee), when you crew for him, you’re working hard as can be. Fool around, you’ll scrub the decks till three. He’s rough. He’s tough. He’s alpha to a tee. Captain Lee…he’s the stud of the sea!” Can I get an “AMEN”?!?
We learned a lot of juicy little secrets on the final installment of the Below Deck reunion, didn’t we? Captain HAROLD Lee Rosbach? Respect! The reunion begins where last week’s left off…galley-gate! Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is still accusing Kate Chastain of boozing on the clock when the fire started, and Captain Lee reminds her that former chef Leon “Beef Cheeks” Walker said she was and then admitted that she wasn’t. One way or another, he was lying. Amy Johnson skirts Andy Cohen’s direct question as to whether she’s ever seen Kate drinking on charter by responding that she thinks all of the finger pointing is petty. Andy drops the subject and moves onto my favorite Bravo promo in the history of television. Lee jokes that his wife “has gotten a lot of mileage” out of his “alpha to a tee” persona, and the crew reveals he’s a bit of a celebrity…and his first name is actually Harold, which Andy never knew. Lee’s plethora of colorful metaphors is revisited, with “when you get caught with your tit in the ringer” being everyone’s new favorite. Rocky accuses the Captain of showing support to his chief stew and head bosun, but Amy disagrees. She believes he is there for his entire crew, and Lee is quick to respond he’d lay the smack down on anyone–even Eddie Lucas–if he thought it was necessary.
“Mental wounds not healing; who and what’s to blame? I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train!” What could possibly be to blame? Maybe those sparkly butterflies occupying the ceiling of Eros? I so wanted another boat ballad to steer us into last night’s fun, but a little Ozzy Osbourne never hurt anyone. Plus, a boat is just a train on water, right? I don’t know about y’all, but I think it’s high tide, um, I mean “high time,” that the crew of Below Deck got a proper reunion! And a two-parter to boot! They have clearly arrived by Bravo standards! Andy Cohen has pulled the yachties from the WWHL clubhouse, and he feels like Captain Lee Rosbach has called them all to the bridge of the Eros.
Emile Kotze is sporting his grandfather’s suit, Eddie Lucas is looking adorable with a beard (it almost–ALMOST–makes me forget his douche-esque behavior this season!) and Kate Chastain has foregone the resting bitch face…for the time being. The get together kicks off with the gang recalling their favorite charter guests, and Connie Arias recalls that her roommate Emile would ask her to hit the deck a few minutes early every morning so he could spank the salami (or whatever the phrase may be). Lovely. Andy inquires as to why Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is always chatting with her pal the ceiling, and she jokes that there were likely sparkly butterflies and unicorns flying around up there. When Eddie tries to crack a joke, Rocky jumps. Does Eddie want to get into things already? Is his girlfriend there so Rocky can share some of the sordid details of their laundry room hook-ups?
Rocky Dakota recently gushed about how close she’s grown to all her castmates since Eros docked. Obviously Below Deck watchers were like, uhhhh… something’s fishy because everybody HATED Rocky’s guts about 5 minutes ago. It turns out Rocky’s ‘fake’ interview was just the latest installment in the Rocky Horror Boat Show and Rocky admitted she lied!
In the cast update, Rocky who has been in a bubble of Dom and Yoga, while flinging her mermaid tail from Paris to Hawaii to Captain Aleks‘ arms yacht, gave a long quote about the friendships she’s formed with several members of the Eros crew, even cooking dinner with Captain Lee and calling Connie Arias to talk bikini tips. Oh yeah, Rocky also claimed Eddie loved her!
Since Eros docked, where is the cast of Below Deck now? Are they sailing paradise on a new boat, or are they relaxing beach-side until Bravo picks them up for another voyage?
After a ROCKY season, it seems most of the cast is on a much-needed hiatus form each other and reality TV cameras. I cannot imagine being crammed on a boat, with cameras, and crew, and Captain Lee‘s moods (I love Captain Lee), or Kate Chastain‘s lectures. But alas – they all remain friendly with each other, yes, even with Rocky Dakota!
Below the crew shares on what they’re up to now and will they board another Boat by Bravo to continue sailing the high seas!
Take us back to dock, Jimmy Buffett…”I used to rule my world from a pay phone and ships out on the sea; but now times are rough, and I got too much stuff–can’t explain the likes of me. But there’s this one particular harbor, so far but yet so near; where I see the days as they fade away, and finally disappear.” Thanks for joining us for Below Deck’s final voyage on the Eros, at least for this season. Can we say cray-cray? Thank goodness Captain Lee Rosbach was able to keep is alpha cool among all the chaos!
The episode begins with Amy Johnson and Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow warning Emile Kotze that confronting Eddie Lucas about his spin cycle affair with Rocky is a bad idea. Well, Amy is doing most of the warning…Rocky is licking her chops and trying to hide her “my plan is working!” grin. Rocky then asks is Amy is jealous of laundry room liaisons with Eddie given Amy’s long-time crush on the bosun. There’s nothing like salt in the wound, right readers? The confusing charter guests are in full swing. Who are these girls? Why did these two guys who are clearly getting nada from their ladies paying for them to be on a chartered yacht? The girls look at the two primary guests as photographers who can capture their every moment flanked by Emile and Eddie.
Another week, and more explosive drama on Below Deck. I mean, we all thought Leon was dramatic, but this week’s episode was definitely more shocking, when Eddie and Rocky’s affair was revealed. But the fun really started when Eddie refused to acknowledge Rocky, girlfriend decided to take it upon herself to start blabbing to the rest of the crew (classy as usual). And now, we only have another week to find out how this season will end.
If you’re anxiously awaiting to find out how it all ends, you’re in luck. No, we don’t have any finale spoilers, but what we do know is what Captain Leethinks of it all. And not surprisingly, Captain Lee is not the least bit impressed with Rocky’s recent behavior. Get all of the juicy details after the jump!
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