Part one of the Big Rich Texas reunion special covered Bonnie vs. Leslie, Whitney vs. Kalyn, Cindy vs. Alcohol, and Jason vs. Tyler. On part two's agenda: DeAynni's parenting,Kalyn's engagement, Jason's blessing, and Connie and Leslie's battle of the polygraphs.
Leslie Birkland is too chicken shit to show her face. She joins the others via video camera from a secret location. #psychward
Bonnie jumps right in, calling Leslie a lying bitch. Warning: if you take a drink every time someone says bitch, you're going to be plastered 10 minutes into the show. Vivica asks Leslie why she's in hiding. She says, "Because of what happened the last time I was with these so called ladies. They attacked me." Is she trippin'? Well, at least drama queen delusions never fail to entertain.
Connie tells Vivica, "Leslie lied so much, she shouldn't feel safe. She should be sitting there be herself."
Last week, when Leslie showed her face at the country club's chili cook-off, Bonnie attacked. On her way out, Bonnie warned Cindy Davis to watch her back around Leslie. And Cindy just cannot understand why, so she invites Bonnie for drinks to talk about it. Cindy must be sloshed more than I realized, because I cannot believe she doesn't have a single clue as to why Leslie shouldn't be trusted. To drive home her point, Bonnie tells Cindy that Leslie told Connie Dieb she's been to rehab twice and nearly lost Alex because of it. A shaken Cindy denies the rumor.
I have to say, if she did go to rehab, it wasn't successful. When Cindy asks why Leslie would say such a thing, Bonnie simply says Leslie likes to tell wild stories.
Meanwhile, Melissa and Maddie audition swimsuit models for Melissa's upcoming swimsuit coverup fashion show. At the last minute, Melissa reveals she doesn't want to model in the show, as planned. Maddie tells her mom that she should represent the "old and saggy women."
The next morning, the ladies discuss the previous night's events, mimosas in hand. While the details of Bonnie and Leslie's blow up are crystal clear, the rest of the night is kind of a blur. Melissa Poe asks, "Did we kiss somebody last night?" Oh yes, she, Connie Dieb, and Cindy Davis most certainly did make out with complete strangers, albeit hot ones. Yay for alcohol!
Melissa explains that nobody went after Leslie the night before, but they're all anxious to hear her spin on side of the story now. The ladies set up camp in the living room and wait for Melissa to bring her downstairs. Turns out – Leslie is nowhere to be found.
Ah, there she is, back in Texas.Thankfully, neither Kalyn Braun nor Tyler has a job, so Leslie knows to look for them by the pool. "You guys are not gonna believe what happened to me," Leslie cries. "Bonnie's turned against me." Leslie adds, "I'm the victim! You'd think she would have been remorseful for what her husband did." Moving on, Kalyn asks forLeslie's permission to date Paul. Leslie is like,the old guy? (Pot, Kettle. Kettle, Pot.) The 28-year-old nerd? Kalyn asks Leslie to at least meet Paul before she passes judgment. Leslie agrees.
Whitney and Booger will wed October 31, 2013. Whitney wants a Halloween wedding, 13 bridesmaids, 13 groomsmen, and a black wedding dress. OK! magazine has the video announcement.
Second – Whitney is pregnant!
Grandma-to-be Bonnie Blossmantweeted: Whitney is 8 weeks pregnant and due July 24. There's no doubt in my mind that Whitney and Booger's baby will come out super cute, tattooed, and pierced. I can hear Bonnie in the delivery room now, "BRANDON!" Booger, "That was all Whitney! I can't stop her!"
A mortified Leslie proceeded to distract her friends with massive amounts of alcohol and the promise of a trip to New Orleans. Despite no Rip, good times were had by all until Bonnie's husband Jason picked a fight with Leslie's son Tyler. And yet another episode ended with an embarrassed Leslie dragging one of her real/borrowed children to the car.
Naturally, the women need new used clothes for their upcoming trip to New Orleans, so they go to Connie Dieb's shop. They're very excited about the trip… Bonnie wants to party on Bourbon Street and Connie and DeAynni practically salivate just thinking about the food. Since Connie always misses the disastrous parties – is she really always busy or purposely keeping away from the drama? – she asks for the lowdown on Leslie's engagement party. Bonnie tells Connie that Tyler disrespected Cindy Davis, Jason stood up for Cindy, Jason threatened to break Tyler's jaw, and Leslie acted crazy.
Connie is like, Well, that's nice…. off to New Orleans where us girls are gonna go wild! I get the impression that Connie couldn't care less about what she misses at these parties… her script simply dictates that she ask for a recap.
Big Rich Texas is all new tonight! I kind of missed this crazy bunch last Sunday. Admit it… you did too!
Last time on Big Rich Texas, Leslie Birkland announced that she and Ripwere engaged. All the women were like, OMG, let me see the (assumed to be humongous) ring! According toLeslie, her billionaire asked her to marry him on the fly, so she didn't have a ring yet. Horrors! Connie Dieb and Bonnie Blossman rushed Leslie to the nearest bling shop. While shopping for an engagement ring, Bonnie asked Leslie if she and Rip would join Bonnie and Jason for dinner later that week. Leslie agreed, and then Bonnie secretly planned an engagement party for the couple!
Imagine Leslie's surprise when she came to the party alone, as Rip's plane had been delayed in New York. Of course. A mortified Leslie attempted to distract her friends with massive amounts of alcohol and the promise of a trip to New Orleans. Despite no Rip, good times were had by all until Jason picked a fight with Tyler immediately after Cindy Davis practically tried to bed him on the bar. Poor Tyler. Big Rich Texas ended with an embarrassed Leslie dragging one of her real/borrowed children to the car. Again.
On tonight's episode of Big Rich Texas, the ladies travel to New Orleans for Leslie's bachelorette party, but the bride-to-be is nowhere to be found. Then, before Booger asks Whitney Whatley to be his bride, he seeks Bonnie and Jason's blessing. Bonnie and Jason are all like, why? shehas no money, no job, and no life goals. It's great!
Also, imagine our surprise when we came across Leslie and Rip's engagement announcement, complete with a photo of the lovebirds!
Following the party, if Leslie's face could show emotion, she would look bewildered. Leslie doesn't understand why Kalyn got so upset with her mother. Just a guess… perhaps because they're two manipulative drama queens fighting for attention. Kalyn tells Leslie that she got too heated and cannot even remember what set her off, adding, "Everything was just rushing through my head, like all the crap she pulls, and I just went off. I lost it. I couldn't handle it anymore."
Leslie stresses that people can change. Leslie blows my mind with, "Now that you're an adult and you've been baptized, you're looking and viewing life differently." Being baptized does not instantly make one an adult… and, for crying out loud, Kalyn's hair is practically still wet. When did she have time to change her outlook on life? Leslie urges Kalyn to give Terry a chance. Kalyn says the mere thought is exhausting.
Next, DeAynni Hatley brings 15-year-old Shaye to the Big Rich Texas plastic surgeon for Botox. I'll let you digest that statement for a moment and meet you in the next paragraph.