Well last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hillswas really something! Erika Jayne went from having no feelings she lets out, to melting into a puddle of icky goo. Don’t even get me started on Lisa Rinna. She needs to play Freeze Tag with her own lips. But we learned a very important thing: if you do not abide by the Buddha’s preach for peace and goodwill, you’re going to get served a severed friendship, surrounded by unfounded accusations.
When I say last night was not a good look for Erika, I mean that literally. She has a pretty cry face, but good lord, her sobbing and swearing at Eileen Davidson with 10 feet of pancake makeup and and Tammy Faye Baker eyes was frightening, Wicked Witch Of The West style. Honey those glams you pay need to tone down the fabulous.
Sigh – Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is always one step forward; two steps back. Last night, the ladies journeyed halfway across the globe, from Beverly Hills to Hong Kong, only to find themselves mired in the same old “who said it” drama. Well, it’s good to change it up a bit and fight in new settings, and the gorgeous scenery did not disappoint.
It’s a fourteen-hour flight, which means one could find themselves trapped on an airplane using Kyle Richards‘ hair kaftan as a blanket (or parachute!), or being bored to death by Eileen Davidson discussing trans-particle fusion as applied to soap villainesses and their cognitive dissonance coping skills.
Over the weekend was the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, which brings out plenty of reality stars. Dance Moms stars JoJo Siwa and Chloe Lukasiak were there, as well as Lamar Odom, Blac Chyna, Heidi Klum and others.
We also have sightings of Bethenny Frankel in NYC, Maddie Ziegler promoting her new book and many more! Check them out in the photo gallery below!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, “we” had a baby (we’re included in this “we” because at this point we’re all basically Kim and KyleRichards‘ celestial family in twisted sister drama). “We” also planned a trip to Hong Kong to rescue dogs, and we also got our laps squished by an Instagram personality and his giant bottle of rosé.
Where I will let Kyle stand alone is in that awful dress she wore to the Kyle By AleneTwo book signing event. At least Eden Sassoon got the message and wore a kaftan. And Lisa Rinna, well she and her diarrhea stayed home. Erika Girardi also went home – on a private jet with a glam squad. I don’t know why Erika doesn’t cry more often because she has such a pretty cry face!
Was last night Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills horror story, or what?! A witch hunt! Gossip that comes back to haunt. The poltergeist that refuses to be exorcised. Mini cheesecakes that stalk through the night! The Twisted Sisters Richards back for revenge. The zombie audience of collected Housewives shaking from sugar, desperate to feast on the UN-Botoxed remains of low-carb brain. And Carnie Wilson (!) returns from the dead as a really good counselor.
Anyway, Lisa Rinna fessed-up, owned it, or whatever you want to call it. I have to say that I’m proud of her. It’s not easy to face down Kim Richards‘ demons and live to tell about it.
“Mother of the year” Lisa Vanderpump is buying Max an apartment to reward him for putting up with the hooligans of SUR. And trust me – that is no small feat! Lisa and Ken spent $630,000 on a WeHo ‘gem’ that they describe as a dump, but I thought it looked pretty amazing and far nicer than any place I’ve ever lived. But alas, we cannot all be so lucky as to be adopted into pillows of Pomeranian fur, bejeweled British accents, and cocooned in rose-scented tea petals. Please note my official plea that Lisa save me from my middle-classdom.
Oh Lisa Rinna. Those lips, those lips are juicy. Last night, the ladies of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills were supposed to be relaxing in Mexico, but we all know that’s not what happened. Echoing a theme of being over the shit, Eileen Davidson preferred Montezuma’s Revenge Diarrhea to more diarrhea of drama over who said what 3,000 years ago when Montezuma ruled.
So Lipsa arrives in Mexico to a chilly greeting. Kyle Richards is reeling after learning that Lipsa blabbed what the whole world was already thinking about Kim Richards‘ state of sobriety: Kim is “mostly sober,” Kyle is an enabler, and Kim is/was “near death.” Unfortunately Lipsa chose to make these observations to Eden Sassoon, who she mistakenly believed she could trust.
Over on the West Coast, the celebrities were flocking to Grammy parties. Tamar Braxton, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Erika Jayne, Kandi Burruss and many more were photographed at the main event and the pre-party celebrations.