Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey was all very…orange. From Caroline Manzo's hair as she bossed around her family and tried broker a treaty between Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice to Joe Gorga's billboard extravaganza, orange was definitely the color scheme. Thankfully, it's a color I like. What I don't like is all the underhanded quips and lack of accountability, but I've learned that behavior is par for the course with this crowd!
Melissa Gorga takes her boys to visit Joe at the job site and he gets a call asking him to model on a tanning salon billboard. Mel doesn't want to join him in his highway advertising debut because Tre once did a commercial for the same salon. What a throwback! Melissa doesn't want Teresa to assume she's copying her yet again. She's content just to drive the bulldozer. All of the bouncing and shrieking and "make it stop" is probably something Joe is used to hearing in the bedroom.
Teresa is hosting the first family dinner in ages. She has her girls help her prepare the table, and they are excited to see their cousins. Teresa asks the always entertaining Melania if she plans to cook for her husband when she grows up. Um no. Melania's husband will definitely be cooking for her.
Caroline made it clear that since the case isn't the typical silly drama of Real Housewives of New Jersey, she's not dishing on it. She told AndyCohen, "I texted her the day of the indictment. I just sent a message that I'll keep to myself and she did respond back and I'm going to keep that to myself as well.".
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So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.
While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzonow in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow.
So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!
After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave.
Teresa Giudice and Dr. V were together on tonight's episode of Watch What Happens Live. They spent the episode reflecting on the retreat and dishing on everything from Caroline Manzo coming up to help, and Teresa reverting back to her "I'm not to blame" mentality. It left me smacking my head against the wall just a little bit.
Dr. V starts off about her first impression of Teresa, "I met a very whole hearted person, a very vulnerable person." She says she was inspired by the entire family by the time she left.
When Andy plays a clip ofJoe Giudice being the voice of reason, Teresa tears up, saying "because I know my Joe's a sweetheart."
The first caller asks Teresa how it felt to be hugged Joe and Melissa? And also why she called Melissa a bitch? "I was kidding, first of all. It (the hugs) felt really great. It felt good. That's how we are, we kid around. My husband and my brother always bust each others chops. Me and Melissa don't do it that much, but a little bit. That's how we are. And hello, you see Richie. He's like that alll the time."
Real Housewives of New Jersey is right in thick of serious drama. Last week Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga tepidly began to process their issues with the help of the formidable Dr. V (there isn't enough alcohol in the world for me to try and tackle that mess – so props to her!).
Caroline Manzo was also brought on by Teresa to try and mend the issues. "This is a tough bunch. They are very passionate people and very stubborn," Caroline dishes to The Hollywood Reporter.
However Teresa admitting she needed help shocked Caroline enough into going! It's not often Miss. Everything's Fine admits there's a problem, as we know… "I was very surprised to hear from Teresa," Caroline admits. "She's a strong girl and doesn't usually ask for help. I knew something was up."