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Farrah Abraham

Book one of Farrah Abraham's trilogy, Celebrity Sex Tape, will be released July 1 – and I could not be more excited about it. No I haven't lost my mind. I do not plan to read Farrah's smut book, but this also means Farrah needs to give interviews to promote it! I can't stand Farrah, the person, but I love Farrah, the interviewee. Bring on the interviews!

Farrah sat down with Huff Post Live's Ricky Camilleri earlier today to talk about Celebrity Sex Tape and say awesome things like her trilogy is the next stop in her "portfolio of literacy" and reality TV taught her to be "more better at communication." Let's have a moment of silence for Ricky. He deserves it. 

Farrah introduced the main character of her trilogy, Fallon Opal, and Ricky asked, "Not Farrah?"  She insisted, "Not me. I think we all use our inspiration and experiences of life to build our stories but this is very different from anything that I've ever had in my life. But I noticed through some drama that I went through this past year of my own sex tape that this is a popular issue." 

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Jon Gosselin

Rumor has it, no one's favorite father of eight, Jon Gosselin, lost his job as a waiter. Raise your hand if you're shocked. 

Last year, Jon started waiting and bussing tables in PA. At the time, he said he couldn't find an IT job that was flexible enough for a father of eight. Let's play along, shall we, and pretend he actually parents eight children on a daily basis. No judgment here. Waiting tables is an honest day's work – and it's more "real world" work than Kate Gosselin has done since Jon & Kate Plus 8 aired. 

That said, Radar reported, Jon was fired from this job a few months ago. "Jon was fired for blowing off shifts and coming in late," claimed the source. "He had no work ethic and felt he could come and go as he pleased." 

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Teen Mom Tyler Catelynn pregnant

Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell is reportedly pregnant again. Catelynn and Tyler Baltierra placed their first child for adoption on 16 and Pregnant

Roughly three weeks ago, Catelynn and Tyler revealed that they were actively trying to become pregnant. "We're ready to have a baby," shared Catelynn. "I would've felt guilty if I got pregnant again when Carly was 1 or 2, but we've both been yearning for this." Carly will be five on May 18. 

Catelynn's brother River and mother April shared the news (um hopefully with permission) via Facebook. Catelynn has not confirmed or denied the news yet, but Tyler did comment on April's announcement.

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Courtney Stodden boobs

She's not going away, y'all! Courtney Stodden became famous (is that what you'd call it?) when she wed fifty-something "actor" Doug Hutchison at the rip old age of sixteen, and they milked their notoriety on Couples Therapy. After her stint on U.K.'s Big Brother, Courtney called it a day as far as her marriage to Doug was concerned, promising that the two would remain the best of friends. She also promised to stay in the spotlight…well, maybe not publicly, but that is the only answer to why she's still around.

Now, Courtney is introducing a series of webisodes, tackling such hard hitting topics like selfies and helium. You read that correctly. Courtney Naturally is the name of her new endeavor, and Courtney shares with Fox 411, “I'm just being me…Each ep [sic] is fun and outrageous. The best part is there is no filter.”

Her mother–and manager (shocking!)–concurs, explaining that topics will evolve from superficial selfies. Courtney's mother says, “Her and I are on it together and we’re going over baby pictures and laughing about the ways I dressed her. There’s a lot more to come.” Sounds riveting!  Check out the first two episodes after the jump! Just a warning…I'm much dumber having watched! 

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taylor armstrong

Taylor Armstrong recently married John Bluher in a D-List star-studded made for TV event. The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star invited several of her former co-stars, and discusses how difficult it was to accommodate all the warring personalities. She solved that problem by leaving one person off the list: Brandi Glanville

Yes, Taylor even invited Adrienne Maloof and her ex-husband Paul Nassif, she was so desperate for TV cameras but she didn't feel Brandi could behave! "Because it was during the reunion [special] and I didn’t know, that was week to week because the seating chart was one of the most complicated things," the Couples Therapy star explains. Taylor kept all the drama focused on herself because she kept the RHOBH bunch apart. “I separated everyone."

Taylor also reveals to Us Weekly that Rambles Richards "pulled a Kim" and didn't show up. What was Kim so furious at Lisa Vanderpump for again? #hypocrite. Maybe Kim skipped because she's feeling salty that she was fired

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Teen Mom Tyler Catelynn baby

I don't even know what to say about this – Teen Mom stars Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra – who are known for placing daughter Carly for adoption – have revealed they're actively trying to get pregnant.

Catelynn, 22, told In Touch that she stopped using birth control three months ago. "I would've felt guilty if I got pregnant again when Carly was 1 or 2, but we've both been yearning for this," she added. "We're ready to have a baby."

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Farrah Abraham erotic trilogy

My apologies for a Farrah Abraham story on a Monday but we just can't resist the ish that comes out of her mouth. Today's rambles include more about her Celebrity Sex Tape trilogy and a diss aimed at her Teen Mom co-stars.

Farrah says she turned to writing after the mess that was her leaked sex tape. And by "sex tape" I mean professionally produced porn by Vivid Entertainment and by "leaked" I mean professionally distributed porn by Vivid Entertainment.

Farrah explains, "I think because of the experiences I went through and I think some of them were unfair and I guess judged incorrectly from the public when I was going through some things with my sex tape – I think it was the catalyst for me to start writing therapeutically and then I was thinking of fictional characters so I could kind of get out of my head and this came about." If you tilt your head to the right and close one eye, that very long sentence kind of makes sense. 

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Taylor Armstrong marries John Bluher in cliff-top sunset ceremony in Pacific Palisades, CA

I guess April 4th was the day to get married for Bravo housewives past and present! Not only did Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kandi Burruss tie the knot with Todd Tucker, but Taylor Armstrong also walked down the aisle with her Couples Therapy counterpart John Bluher. Now the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is talking to People (of course she is!) about life and renewed happiness and learning to love after the suicide of estranged husband Russell Armstrong. 

It was hard for Taylor to find love again, y'all. She tells the magazine, "When everything you think is one way turns out to be different, it's a scary feeling. I couldn't fathom ever loving somebody again, ever trusting somebody again." 

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