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Dance Moms

dance moms girls

I know y’all have mentioned it before, but what say we pool our resources and donate to Lifetime so Dance Moms can get a new introduction sans the mother and former dancers who are embroiled in a legal battle with Abby Lee Miller. Is that too much to ask? Of course it is, just like it’s too much to ask for Abby to be kind to her students. After victory at a very suspect competition (were there any other dancers there?), Abby is hoping to find a replacement for Maddie in the event Sia wants her star student for every other music video she ever makes.

Not surprisingly, Abby brings in another new dancer to go head-to-head with Chloe. Jade will be dancing with the ALDC this week. Chloe is at the bottom of the pyramid for placing second in the solo division. We all know second is first loser. Nia follows for being the fourth in the top five. MacKenzie is third because her budding pop star status doesn’t give her an excuse to have poor posture. Maddie is second because, woohoo, she was in a Sia video that has allowed her to perform on Ellen and has been interviewed for Seventeen magazine! Kendall is on the top of the pyramid for winning the junior solo division. 

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RHOC Lizzie Rovsek

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the Real Housewives of Orange County have two reasons to celebrate this week. Real Housewives of Orange County attracted over two million viewers for the first time this season, with 2.032 million tuning in to see Lizzie call out Tamra, and RHOC was the highest rated show currently airing on Bravo for two weeks in a row now.

Real Housewives of New Jersey saw a small but much needed increase in viewership, with 2.007 million watching to see how the terrible first responder’s party ended. RHOC‘s rising ratings pushed RHONJ into the #2 spot on Bravo’s lineup. The third and final part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.305 million viewers, bringing its season average to 1.291 million.

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Christi Lukasiak and kelly hyland dance moms

Things are getting crazier and crazier on Dance Moms, but the craziest yet may just be that Abby Lee Miller and Co. are possibly staging fake dance competitions for the show! 

We’ve heard reports for years, that after the first season, the ALDC attended rigged competitions or ‘invitationals’ which many dance companies sign up for simply to showcase their talents on a hit TV show. Of course the qualification being that ALDC gets a lot of the limelight – and usually the big wins! That likely had a lot to do with legality of filming minors in a public space.

But last night’s episode featured really obvious displays of fakery. For instance, we noticed the audience – usually packed with dance families and contestants – was all but empty! Only the first couple of rows had people sitting in them. 

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dance moms maddie bow

Last night’s Dance Moms starts off on a high note…for once! After succeeding in the group number against the Candy Apples, the girls gather in the studio. Gino is a distant memory and will go down in ALDC history as the kid who made perfect Maddie lose a duet. Poor kid. Maddie is absent because she’s in Los Angeles recreating her Chandelier video on Ellen. Have you seen it? It’s almost creepier than the actual video because Sia spends the entire time refusing to show her face and singing in a corner. Of course, that makes me love her and the song even more, and Maddie is quite the talent. If only Abby Lee Miller would stop trying to pit her against her friends…

Shockingly, Maddie is on the bottom of the pyramid for her absence, followed by Chloe for her fall. At least she gives her a tiny bit of credit for continuing on like a professional…a smidgen of credit if you will. Nia takes the spot after Chloe because, you know, Nia isn’t a ballerina as we’re reminded again, and again, and again. Newbie Sarah is the bottom of the next rung, much to Christ-y’s chagrin. MacKenzie is in second, although Abby calls her out from detracting from the number for being too short. Kendall is in the top spot (although, did you notice, there wasn’t a top of the pyramid?) for taking the piece so seriously. 

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Real Housewives of New York reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the second installment of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.514 million viewers, while the Real Housewives of Orange County saw a season high with 1.974 million tuning in to see them travel to Bali. For reasons I will never understand, 2.367 million watched the most vapid person on the planet contemplate adoption on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. As if.

Dance Moms saw a tiny increase in viewership. 1.517 million watched Abby vs. Cathy, but that’s still a far cry from the pre-Kelly/Abby fight numbers.

Promise of a catty fight on Real Housewives of New Jersey attracted 1.753 million viewers, 903,000 Don’t Be Tardy fans watched the Biermann Bunch go to Florida, and a new headache-inducing episode of Teen Mom 2 garnered 1.774 million viewers. Game of Crowns lost nearly 200,000 viewers. For most shows, that would not be a big deal, but to go from 618,000 viewers last week to 419,000 viewers this week is just terrible.

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dance moms gino maddie kiss

What would Dance Moms be without the long running feud against the Candy Apples? On last night’s episode, Abby Lee Miller once again faced her nemesis while bragging about that one time she judged Dancing With The Stars. Is it just me, or do the original moms—even crazy Christi—seem tame in comparison to the new antics? 

As the girls enter the studio, Abby dubs it their walk of shame. She’s sent home her new team to rest and revel in their victory, but she’s allowed Sarah to join the original dancers because her mom stirs up so much drama…oh, and because she’s talented. Yeah, totally the second thing I just wrote. Sarah is eight years old and sporting what have to be eyelash extensions. Abby reminds Sarah that if her mouthy mom has anything negative to say, Sarah will be ousted for good. After Abby rakes the girls over the coals for being sore losers, Jill interrupts to say the team wasn’t sad to lose, but rather they felt let down by their teacher. 

Chloe is on the bottom of the pyramid for poor turns, followed by Maddie for crying in public. Kendall is third on the bottom, and Nia is criticized for not working hard enough to make up for her lack of raw talent. MacKenzie is second, and Sarah takes the top spot for performing with the winning team. Abby cackles as she reveals they will be competing in Ohio against the Candy Apples. The group number will be entitled “Broken Dolls” so art can imitate her dancers’ real life. Abby announces that the duet will be called “I’ve Just Gotta Be Kissed” and all of the girls are giggling and blushing. Maddie will be dancing with Cathy’s former student Gino.

RHOC Heather Dubrow

The reality TV viewer numbers are in. Real Housewives of Orange County remained steady, with 1.778 million watching Lizzie’s sad birthday party. As for the other housewives, a gossip filled episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey garnered 1.885 million viewers, and part one of the Real Housewives of New York reunion attracted 1.312 million.

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta saw a dip in viewership on Monday night, with 3.435 million watching Mimi struggle, but VH1′s ratings powerhouse still won the night. The random Thursday night episode did not fare well, however, with only 2.158 million tuning in. But guess what… it still won the night!

This week’s two episodes of Game of Crowns averaged only 582,000 viewers. Newsflash, Bravo: watching women play dress up and compete for a crown is not very interesting. A double dose of Don’t Be Tardy averaged 1.178 million viewers. Turns out, listening to Kim talk about her hooha and her addictions is more entertaining than Mrs. Pageants. Who knew?

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abby lee engaged

Say it isn’t so! Abby Lee Miller isn’t really engaged to Michael Padula!

Earlier this week, the insufferable Dance Moms star stopped by The Juice to promote her new parental advice – whole body shudder – book, Everything I Learned About Life, I Learned In Dance Class, and Abby finally told us the real story behind her “engagement” to Michael

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