After praying to God, Teresa Giudice put on her best purple fur coat, forced husband Joe to color-coordinate in a show of solidarity and admitted that you know, maaaaaaaybe, ok posssssssilby, well actually definitely she bought too many sequined bikinis with money illegally obtained. But it’s like Oops - lots of people do this – lots of people commit mortgage fraud so they can have big fancy re-done house showy-offy parties for houses they can’t afford, so why is this happening to her?! WHY?! Why is the government making Gia cry by demanding her parents go to court and possibly jail. Like UGH. But Teresa being Teresa, she just buries her head in a vat of sequins and covers her eyes with her hairline, and drinks another glass of Fabellini.
With all of that said and done, Melissa Gorga and Dina Manzo feel sorry for Teresa that she’s under so much stress so they decide to plan a vacation to Florida. Like hey, you broke the law – let’s celebrate!
To start, Dina talked Project Ladybug and Childhood Cancer Awareness month.
“PERFECT TIMING! I love how this episode has a Project Ladybug focus. Did you know that September is Childhood Cancer awareness month? Yeah, not many people know that, for some CRAZY reason it’s not as prevalent as other awareness months,” shared Dina. “I need a favor, whoever is reading this, if you can post that on your social media sites, I’ll love you forever.”
Labor Day marks the unofficial end of summer – and the Real Housewives took to social media to show off how they spent the holiday weekend.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville took her two boys, Mason and Jake, to Palm Springs, and then she proceeded to complain about the amount of kids – “It’s noon. It’s time for wine. Kids. Everywhere.” – and the oppressive heat – “117 degrees!”
“Loving Palm Springs,” added Brandi. “I’ve been asked so many times where my boyfriend is but the truth is I just wanted face time with Mason and Jake.”
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!
It makes me feel warm inside that despite all the cast changes, Real Housewives Of New Jersey hasn’t given up the sleaze factor. I’m not sure if they reached a new low last night or not, but whatever – it keeps us on our toes right?!
The big drama is that Victoria Gotti, mentoress in all things badly-behaving criminal husband to our beloved Teresa Giudice, showed up and oh boy did she have some secrets stashed under that Barbie weave. (Kim D collection, y’all! Actually Kim gets her weaves from the VG Collection – real hair, scalped by the finest Italian mobsters in all the land!)
It turns out that Victoria has known Rino, husband of one Teressssssssssssa Aprea for quite some time. It turns out Rino used to have a thing for Victoria. It turns out Rino has a thing for older ladies of a certain Mrs. Robinson persuasion. More on that later…
So Poison is in the garbage business. It’s not the type of garbage business you might think – like producing garbage songs for a wife who can’t sing or calling his sister garbage on national TV, but he actually bought some big garbage truck to recycle documents. Melissa wants to give the truck a makeover so it stands out and they get more attention for their business. Melissa suggests putting wings on the truck. And the slogan, “Going green gives you wings.” First of all, she stole that from RedBull. Second of all, I don’t know why she didn’t just glue some Melissa Gorga jewelry on it and blast “On Display” from the speakers while it cruises around town. Better yet, old J. Faux could dance on top of the truck! Third of all, what does the leasing agent from a car dealership have to do with Joe’s trash business?
Jacqueline Laurita is returning – briefly – at the end of this season when filming resumes to capture Teresa Giudice‘s sentencing drama. Jacqueline revealed that she’ll actually just be filming to support season extra Kathy Wakile‘s newest dessert launch, but rumor has it the real reason producers pulled Jacqueline in was in the hopes of a showdown with Dina!
Jacqueline has also remained friendly with Teresa after the two made amends last season, so presumably they were hoping both Dina and Jacqueline could film together in support of their friend as she deals with her sentencing news. Well – Dina was not havin’ any of that! What’s that zen you speak of? More like ignore what you don’t want to see! The usual.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey we open with the drama at the First Responsers Ball, where the pillars of RHONJ society congregated in their Partay Citay deluxe luxury couture vinyl posche-y firehoochie ensembles (basically this is like the MET Gala of Franklin Lakes, NJ, here people).
Of course not everyone was in the party mood, despite the finest quality vinyl they were wearing. Amber Marchese had her hair yanked out and her husband had his authority questioned. Jim Marchese whispers in Poison’s ear (not in the way that gets the poison flowing), that he is a “dumb f***” then walked out the door. And Poison, our jr muscle man hopped out of his chair, swimming in his fireman couture, and followed Jim to demand an apology.
Jim does not fight – he’s an attorney and an upstanding citizen who will just have you arrested. Then sued. Oh yes – Jim is a grown man who does not brawl in someone’s basement wearing a low-rent version of Kappa Kappa Gamma’s Halloween party garb. Nor does Jim exchange blows on the snow covered sidewalk of a New Jersey McMansion.