Another day, another Kelly Dodd tweet storm with misinformation and good intentions. Kelly has been a major force behind a lot of the story on Real Housewives of Orange County for five seasons. She came in with a bang of low-based b*llsh*t and, well, never left. Do I blame her for the consistent downward trajectory of RHOC? Her and Vicki Gunvalson, yes. You don’t fire Heather Dubrow and put Kelly at the center of a show, but THAT’S MY OPINION (and Tamra’s Judge’s).
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of great Kelly moments. Like when she accurately described Shane Simpson as a wimp. But other than that, Kelly has really made a name for herself by going below the belt and being generally misinformed about social issues and deadly viruses. This isn’t to say Kelly has bad intentions. I think buried under her tough exterior is a heart that really tries to be in the right place. Take for instance her latest tweet storm.
The finale of Real Housewives of Orange County was last week. It was…odd. On the whole, the season was good in that the women opened up their actual lives on camera. Emily Simpson showed us the anxieties of having a loved one in the hospital with COVID. Gina Kirschenheiter showed us the aftermath of domestic violence and divorce. Kelly Dodd was an all-out idiot and Shannon Beador was exhausting (some things don’t change). Elizabeth Lyn Vargas brought nothing to the table (not even Vince Neil) until she revealed she was raised in a religious cult. And Braunwyn Windham-Burke broke her back carrying the season with the chaos that is her life.
There was no attempt made in the finale to depict these women as actual friends outside the show. The season ended abruptly on the beach with the fakest toast ever seen on a Housewives series. It was super apparent that these women are united only in their mutual disdain for Braunwyn. There is no need to reiterate that she is going through major life changes. Whether it’s all true or for camera time doesn’t even bother me because she’s imploding her own life, not her fellow cast members’. Regardless, her cast mates think everything she’s doing is for likes and camera time. But I think in one case they’re deflecting from their own ignorance.
One thing we can look forward to if and when Vanderpump Rules comes back is Scheana Shay being pregnant and in a seemingly healthy relationship. Never forget, Scheana gave Lisa Vanderpump a reason to pitch the spinoff to Bravo by having an affair with Eddie Cibrian, Brandi Glanville’s ex-husband. Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute, and Katie Maloney tried to make Scheana the villain on the show. However, that ultimately failed when it couldn’t be denied that they were actually awful people.
Throughout Scheana’s tenure on Pump Rules she has been trolled pretty hard. By fellow cast members, fans, and even shady former producers. Bottom line, if crappy people like Jax Taylor can get their happy ending on the show, I think Scheana, deserves the same. I know I’m not the only Scheana fan in the room either.
Remember Vanderpump Rules? If this were an ordinary year (where did those go?) we would be watching our once favorite SURvers right now as they made fun of Scheana Marie, fought over petty BS, and got sloppy drunk. Alas, the reckoning of 2020 put a stop to all that. Production for Season 9 is still halted due to COVID and Bravo fired OGs Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute for racist actions against Faith Stowers. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright also got the ax “parted” with Pump Rules in 2020.
So, who’s left? Lala Kent, Scheana, Tom Schwartz, Katie Maloney, Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix, James Kennedy and newbie Charli Burnett. That sounds like enough for a show to me. But it seems like Bravo is slowly backtracking on last year’s exodus. First, Andy Cohen publicly mourned the changes. Now, it’s Lisa Vanderpump’s turn to plant the seeds for redemption.
Over the years, the ladies of Real Housewives of New York have grown up a lot. Sonja Morgan went from being the ex-wife of JP Morgan Chase bank guy to an International Fashion Lifestyle Brand. Luann de Lesseps went from The Countess to Cabaret star. Ramona Singer went from being an out-of-touch narcissist to an out-of-touch, narcissistic real estate agent. In just 12 seasons!
While we have witnessed countless ups and downs, one thing remains – these women will always share Harry Dubin. Harry is like the Slade Smiley of New York City. He was once married to Aviva Drescher. Since they divorced, he and Sonja have had an on and off thing for years. During this time, Harry and Luann have also hooked up. Most recently, Harry and Ramona were spotted making out. It’s a picture you can’t unsee. Oh, and he’s also been linked to Kelly Bensimon. Put simply, Harry is a pig RHONY staple.
On last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we started to see some of Elizabeth Lyn Vargas’ truth. Up to this point, we only knew that she had been married to billionaire, Bernt Bodal (I can’t with that name). We know this because she constantly talks about being a “billionaire’s wife.” But she also talks about growing up poor and her boyfriend, Jimmy Juarez.
Jimmy and Elizabeth’s relationship has a sketchy timeline. She also claims they only recently started having sex because she wanted her divorce to be finalized. All of these alternative facts raised the eyebrows of her fellow cast members. Primarily Shannon Beador (she’ll deny it) and Braunwyn Windham-Burke. Then, last week, Elizabeth revealed that she was raised in a religious cult that was horribly abusive. This information puts Elizabeth’s omissions into perspective.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills feels so far away, and yet like it happened just yesterday. This last season of RHOBH carried on the YEARS-long tradition of creating one storyline for the whole season, designed to humiliate ONE woman. Last year it was Lisa Vanderpump and puppy gate. The year before was Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave (which in hindsight, I don’t mind that one so much). The year before that was Erika Girardi and panty-gate. This year it was Denise Fu**ing Richards and an ALLEGED sexual encounter, with RHOBH’s self-proclaimed truth teller, Brandi Glanville.
Do you want to revisit any of those seasons? I don’t. Seasons that beat to death a single story are totally unenjoyable. Housewives works best, IMHO, when the show features a truly ensemble cast. Real Housewives of New York City, Atlanta, and Salt Lake City even seem to understand this implicitly. Plus, these series, along with New Jersey, Potomac, Dallas and yes, Orange County have women who are willing to show their lives. RHOBH doesn’t do either of these things and yet, it was the most-watched series in the franchise.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been into these newer seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Margaret Josephs and Jackie Goldschneider have been great additions to the Teresa Guidice show. But there is still nothing like the first few seasons of RHONJ. The drama was unparalleled. That’s because it was centered on family drama (say it in your Caroline Manzo reunion voice).
Dina Manzo was a fan favorite. She was also the first Manzo to leave the show. Unfortunately, a whole lot of bad luck followed her and her husband, David Cantin. In 2015, David was assaulted in a parking lot by a hit man hired by Dina’s ex-husband, Tommy Manzo. Two years later, Dina and David were the victims of a violent robbery. The robbery was so scary they relocated to the West Coast. To say Dina needs some relief from this Sopranos-episode-come-to-life would be an understatement. Finally, there’s some good news for her and David.