This week us lucky ducks get a double-dose of Farrah Abraham! First on the MTV special (is it fair to call something that tragic and terrible "special" which implies good?) Being Farrah and then again on Couples Therapy. Woooh!
And since two hours of Farrah on my TV this week are not enough we get to hear even more about her shenanigans in the media. Oh joy! First up, since Farrah likes loves plastic surgery something awful, she is totally fine with her 5-year-old daughter getting it in the future. Like she might have to get Sophia's binky surgically removed!
"I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty,” Farrahtells Radar Online. “We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!” This from the woman who waxed her three-year-old's eyebrows.
Farrah does agree Sophia should wait until she's an adult to get nipped and tucked. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult," she rambles. "And … if it’s for a real reason.”
Being Farrah entails many things. It does not entail telling the truth, accepting responsibility for your actions, or acting like an adult – just an adult film star.
We check in with the former Teen Mom as if we haven't seen enough of her on Couples Therapy, and Farrah Abraham tells us she's raising Sophia alone – or not because she's actually living with her dad Michael and traveling all over for her big important career of not being in the adult entertainment industry or taking a break from reality TV.
While Farrah is off being Farrah, Michael is actually raising Sophia in the huge enormous house Farrah's not being a porn star career paid for, but she doesn't want to talk about all that. Like ick! Now that MTV is back, so is Farrah. Lucky Sophia!
Debra and Michael are now divorced. Debra moved 1000 miles away and was happy in isolation until MTV knocked on her door with cameras. "How did you find me?" she whispers. "Leave me alone…" Next time try the witness protection program, Debra! And try wearing a less flamboyant coat than that full-length leopard-print number.
Picking up where we left off, Sada and Taylor talking to Jon Gosselin and Liz Jennetta about how bitchy Liz is to Jon. Surprisingly Liz takes it well and listens to what Sada says and Taylor slurs.
The next day, Dr. Jenn talks to Jon alone because she feels his relationship is doomed if he doesn't start to demand respect from Liz. Jon truly believe Liz loves him. Then, he says he dated a lot of women and felt the best connection with Liz, and I stare at my TV in disbelief. Who are these women who want to date Jon Gosselin?!? Seriously! Dr. Jenn wishes Jon luck, adding, "You need to come from a place of strength, not a place of woundedness."
Last night's Couples Therapy went like – Ghostface Killah went to the booty market, Kelsey Nykole stayed at home. Taylor Armstrong had fillers and vodka, Farrah Abraham had fillers and rum. And Jon Gosselin went boo hoo hoo all the way home. Only, the end is only wishful thinking on my part. Jon boohooed but never went home. Because, paycheck. The dude needs money to pay child support buy hair gel and smokes.
From last week, Kelsey just stormed out of a therapy session she was sharing with Ghost and Latrice. So Taylor sniffs out the drama and follows Kelsey because the delusional fruitcake seems to think she's one of the therapists. Dr. Jenn Berman, who isn't much better than Taylor, appears and reminds Kelsey that she doesn't need crumbs of Ghost's love. Kelsey says she's done with him but wants to apologize to Latrice.
Kelsey doesn't have any reason to apologize, in my opinion, but she has more class and empathy in one of her hair folds than Ghost has in his entire body. She tells Latrice that she wouldn't have let Ghost into her world had she known she was his side piece, adding, "Not sure what Ghost has told you, but we was developing something." A devastated Latrice wonders if she will be able to trust Ghost after this. Huh? Really, girl?
Kyle and Camille have a role in the movie, along with Brandi Glanville. We're guessing they are part of the "The Real Housewives of District 8" piece of the parody.
The movie, which is a spoof of several movies like Ted, The Hangover, The Hunger Games and more, is due out next week via iTunes, according to Kyle. "With @therealcamilleg at #TheHungoverGames premier tonight . Check it out On Tuesday 2/18 @itunesmovies http://goo.gl/73M1Ng"
Farrah boohooed about not giving Vivid permission to release the new footage of her very private homemade sex tape porn film with her boyfriend a porn star, James Deen. In case there was any doubt, Farrah lied and TMZ has a screen shot of an email to prove she gave Vivid the OK to release video or video(s).
Also last week, Taylor Armstrong bashed Farrah on Couples Therapy, so we have to endure another exchange between these two puffy lipped liar faces. Taylor called Farrah a f–king rat, among other things, and now Farrah thinks Taylor is jealous of her. Because, on Planet Famewhore, this makes sense.
The keyboard ink wasn't even dry on our post about Farrah Abraham's sex tape sequel and she's already in full on victim mode.
Vivid Entertainment announced that it was releasing a sequel to Backdoor Teen Mom, due out the day before Valentine's Day. We wondered how long it would take Farrah to jump on her soapbox and play the blame game again. About 13 minutes.