I wish Vanderpump Rules had longer episodes. Or at the very least, I wish some uncensored scenes got put up online. I just want to know what really happens when it comes to the sex, drugs, and other antics. Thankfully, Tom Sandoval spilled some piping hot tea about all things Pump Rules.
One of my favorite thing about the start of new Real Housewives seasons is the revelation of the stars tag lines in the show introductions. It sets the tone for the season and hints at what we can expect from the cast members. That’s why I wish the Vanderpump Rules cast had tag lines each season.
Unfortunately, I have zero power at Bravo, but I put a lot of thought into this and came up with some ideas in case Andy Cohen, or whoever else is important at the network, wants to borrow some of my words for inspiration.
You guys, it’s Katie Maloney‘s life, she can ruin it if she wants to, but everyone else better cheer, clap, and act happy! Frankly I’m confused about what’s even going on with Vanderpump Rules. It is all over the place – like we went from church toJax Taylor and Tom Sandoval trying on Lisa Vanderpump‘s bras to dress in drag for Tom Schwartz‘s bachelor party. Read that sentence back to yourself and tell me this show isn’t perplexing?
I love VanderpumpRules, but there are just some plot points that don’t really add up to me. Maybe that’s just because I’m a naive purist who’s looking for way too much reality in my reality TV shows. I really do need to accept that a lot of what we get to see is not completely factual, but until then, I still have so many unanswered questions about Vanderpump Rules.
There is just so much going on with this show that drifts away from the show’s initial premise. To be honest, most of it has to deal with these restaurant workers having the funds for their shenanigans and/or the weird web of romance and friendship that everyone seems to be way too accepting of.
Today I come to tell a tale about the World’s Greatest DJ, who was persecuted and stalked, mercilessly harassed, and run out of clubs, all because the world wanted to possess his art and his talent. Naturally, I speak of James Kennedy, The White Kanye, and the rapper on the run from his tormentor Jax Taylor. Such are songs of sorrow played out on Vanderpump Rules.
Oh, last night was a doozy, filled with Ariana Madix‘s infamous sulk and the slow emancipation of Scheana Marie as she suddenly blinked into the light as it dawned on her that Stassi Schroeder‘s power and possession was an elaborate ruse. If only Katie Maloney would see such signs, but alas she’s too busy painting squiggly black lines over the sunrise of truth.
James Kennedy made his return to the clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live last night. Andy Cohen hasn’t had him back on the show since he and Vanderpump Rules co-star Lala Kentwere on together, dropping F-Bombs and more in one of the most-bleeped episodes ever. He even opted to not drink at all during the show so that he wouldn’t slip. Andy also had breakaway bottles on hand, telling James that co-guest Bridget Everett will break one over his head every time he swears.
On the altercation with Jax Taylor at the end of last night’s episode, Jax Tweeted to slam James, saying he ran away like a little girl and called him a pussy. James responds, “Honestly what happened was I threw the drink back at him and he came running at me and slipped on the drink before he could get to me. The security guards were holding him down on the floor. I didn’t get kicked out. They were just trying to get me to safety before crazy Jax like killed me or something.”
Now that Lala Kent isn’t around to be the resident target, Kristen Doute takes aim at former boyfriend/door-spitter James Kennedy this week. On tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Kristen rounds up two of James’ rumored flings, Ellie and GG, to crash his big DJ gig and expose him for the cheater she hears he is.
Kristen and the crew sit back and watch the drama unfold as they confront James’ girlfriend, Raquel Leviss, telling her she’s delusional to think he’s loyal. Obviously things do not go well much to Kristen’s glee. Tom Sandoval looks on in horror, knowing what kind of crazy is about to be unleashed.
Aside from being eternally mystified by angel Brittany Cartwright’s ability to put up with Jax Taylor’s antics, another thing that made me question the staying power of their relationship was when Brittany’s mom Sherri Cartwright visited the couple when the Vanderpump Rules cast was roasting Jax for his birthday. Just like her daughter, Mrs. Cartwright let a lot of things slide when it comes to Jax’s behavior, but a lot of fans felt like she had way too strong of a reaction to the male hookup rumors and accused Sherri of being homophobic.
Luckily for Sherri, Brittany’sPump Rules costars stepped in to defend her reaction and her support of the LGBTQ community. Unfortunately for Sherri, it didn’t seem like Sherri’s (possible) future son-in-law did much to have her back.