Jeff Probst

IF

Unlike contestant and television writer David Wright, I’m ready for Survivor!  The 90-minute Premiere Episode of Millennials vs. Gen-X blew in like a tropical storm just upgraded to a cyclone, and in its wake it scattered a number of likable castaways all over the island, representing two of the most annoying generations of America (I belong to one of them, so I can say this).  The “Survivor culture war” was on and within the first day, battle lines were drawn.

So let’s not take any short-cuts, even if Jeff Probst offers us any.  We’re about to dig right into Episode 1 of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X…and because this is a “recap,” that means that I’m either assuming you saw the episode, or you are wanting to know what happened.  I’ll always try to keep headlines and the first few paragraphs “spoiler free,” but spoilers are definitely coming if you haven’t yet seen the episode.  We’ll assume this pertinent information moving forward through the seasons.  So with that…

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Survivor premiere

Survivors ready? It’s about that time folks, as the world’s greatest Reality TV competition show is back for its 33rd go-around. Wednesday night, Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X begins (gee thanks CBS, for the short title this season…that will be fun typing out over and over!), with a 90-minute Premiere Episode.

I’m here to get you primed and ready for tonight’s episode and for this season as a whole. So whether you are an oldie-but-goodie Gen-Xer (like me!), an entitled Millennial brat (I kid…sorta), or a Baby Boomer still trying to figure out how to work your DVR, there’s truly something for everybody this season on Survivor… so let’s dive right in as to what you can expect not only from Jeff Probst and company, but from this column.

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The 20 contestants on SURVIVOR: Millennials vs. Gen. X, when the Emmy Award-winning series returns for its 33rd season with a special 90-minute premiere, Wednesday, Sept. 21 (8:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS Entertainment ©2016 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Sick of hearing about the Millennial Generation? Well you’ll have a chance to officially root against them – or for them – when Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X premieres on Sept 21. Today, CBS and host Jeff Probst announced the 20 cast members that will be competing for the million dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor, when the 33rd season of the grand-daddy of all Reality TV shows, Survivor, returns this Fall.

This announcement comes with a bit of personal news: Long-time followers and readers of mine will notice that I am no longer the “Survivor Examiner,” but instead I’m writing from my new digs, at RealityTea.com. You can look forward to the same in-depth coverage of the show we love, with weekly episode previews, full recaps, and exit interviews with the voted-out castaways. Thanks for your ongoing support!

So who are the 10 all-new Millennials and 10 all-new Gen-Xers who will appear this coming season?  

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You know you've made it big as a housewife when you write a book, or rather if you have a ghost writer write a book for you!  Well, it appears that Brandi Glanville of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is making it big.  The sharp-tongued, Twitter loving, scorned wife is writing a book where she will share her wealth of knowledge and advice on relationships (what not to do, I'd assume).

Brandi's guide to dating will help readers score the person of their dreams as long as they do as she says and not as she does.  The best part of Brandi's tome?  She is letting her fans pick the title, and I must say, they are pretty hilarious!

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Last night was the two hour finale of Survivor, and it’s a battle among the last ladies standing.  Jeff Probst recaps the season’s highlights, including Colton Cumbie’s rise to power and prompt demise and the ladies’ ultimate come back.

It’s the thirty-sixth night on the beach, and the women have voted off the last man.  Alicia is very confident in her friendship with Kim, but I think she may be tooting her own horn a tad too early.  The following day, Sabrina and Kim collect the tree-mail.  Kim approaches Sabrina about voting off Chelsea next, as she’s worried Chelsea will garner lots of jury votes.  While she plays cool, Sabrina is shocked that Kim is targeting her best friend because she’s popular with the castoffs.  However, it does make the likeable Sabrina wonder if she’s next on the chopping block.  No one is worried about the jury voting for Alicia and Christina. I have now decided I either want Chelsea or Sabrina to win.  Only took me an entire season to make that wishy washy determination…

The immunity challenge is pretty intense.  After untying several knotted ropes to get through a makeshift gate, each player must race along a balance beam maze, and must start back at the beginning in the event they fall.  After the maze, they will traverse a giant rope net collecting bags of (what else?) puzzle pieces.  The assembled puzzles will give three number clues the women must use to unlock a combination which will free their flags.  Christina is the first out of the gate, followed by Kim.  They are also the first to fall off to start again.  Alicia finishes the maze first with Chelsea right on her heels.  Chelsea is the first to collect her bags, but everyone is neck and neck on the puzzle.  Sabrina falls behind, but Kim and Chelsea are neck and neck.  Kim assembles her puzzle first, followed by Alicia.  Kim can’t get her combination right, and after multiple tries, she returns to the puzzle.  Alicia follows suit.  Kim, Chelsea, and Alicia are all up working on their combinations at the same time, and Kim finally gets it right, winning immunity.

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After last week’s blindside, last night’s Survivor episode assured us that finally-FINALLY-the remaining castaways are playing the game.

After Kat gets the shaft, the women (and Tarzan) are laughing on the beach about her final words.  Tarzan has a master plan he’s unwilling to share, but he approaches Kim about her strategy.  He promises to get the jury to vote for her if she ends up in the final three with Alicia and Christina.  Of course, that means that Kim has to vote off her biffle Chelsea.  Tarzan is all about the mind games.

Chelsea believes the game is three-on-three:  Chelsea, Kim, and Sabrina versus Christina, Alicia, and Tarzan.  Chelsea thinks it is funny that Christina’s trio thinks that Kim is joining their alliance.  Poor Chelsea.  Chelsea tries to sway Christina to further her threesome, but Christina runs back to camp to relay everything she heard to Kim and Tarzan.  Kim, of course, tells Chelsea that Christina turned on her immediately after their conversation.  Chelsea is pissed, and Kim is getting exhausted trying to play both sides.

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Last night’s Survivor was clearly ladies’ night, as Tarzan is the only man left.

We learn that Troyzan whispered “do it” to Kat as he was leaving.  Kat is befuddled…does he think she’s going to go against her alliance?  Well, someone’s going to have to do it!  Alicia thinks that Christina’s ramblings during tribal council only show how wishy washy and weak she is.  Alicia thinks Christina needs to stick around a while, but she is starting to feel threatened by the amount of power Sabrina seems to have garnered.  Alicia sees herself as a puppet master, poisoning the other women against Sabrina.

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On last night’s Survivor the women continued to reign supreme, while Troyzan tried his best to win allies with his mind games.

Tarzan finally realizes that two boys are left compared to six girls so he needs to get on the women’s good side.  Kim hates being portrayed as the women’s leader, but she’s happy that Christina and Alicia didn’t fall for Troyzan’s master plan that could have easily taken down the women.

Tree-mail arrives, and it’s more cryptic than ever.  Of course, Kat figures she’s safe if she can just solidify her lady vote.  At the reward challenge, Jeff Probst poses a series of questions which can be answered with the name of a remaining teammate, and the major obstacle is figuring out how each of their tribe mates will vote.  If a player is wrong in guessing what the other tribe mates thought, a rope attached to a voodoo doll with their likeness will be chopped.  One too many chops and it’s bye-bye voodoo doll!  The winner wins a fantasy picnic on an isle far, far away.

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