Last night was the event you've all been waiting for with baited breath. Yes, that's right. NeNe Leakes finally walked down the aisle and married her groom Gregg. Again. Thanks, Bravo, for treating us to two full hours of I Dream of NeNe. Two hours, really? I kind of wish you had dragged out her nuptials even longer. I do wish I'd played a drinking game with myself though and taken a sip every time some famous face was shown. I mean, in the first five minutes of the finale, NeNe lunches Vivica Fox while Gregg hangs with groomsman Al Reynolds! On second thought, I'd probably have gotten too drunk to type this…
Gregg is being fitted for his tux, and he's super nervous to learn that his suit won't be completed until the day of the wedding. What is with these Bravo wedding specials leaving everything for the last minute? It's been in the works for ages! NeNe is also helping her ill prepared aunt shop for something to wear to the wedding, as she arrived in Atlanta with nary a dress. Jennifer Williams is along for the ride helping NeNe with some last minute details with her family. Gregg bows out on his fitting to go meet Tony to check on the venue. The ballroom looks like a construction site as Tony and his team prep to hang 60,000 crystals from the ceiling. Somewhere, Spencer Pratt just got really excited!
The family is all coming together for a low-key celebration dinner, and it's nice to see NeNe and Gregg's adult children finally getting along. Gregg is precious with his step-granddaughter. Brentt seems thrilled at the prospect of a better relationship with his half-siblings, and NeNe feels content that all of the children have all come together. The following day, NeNe is spending time with her oldest son Bryson. She wants him to walk her down the aisle, but given that he's on crutches, she doesn't want her dress to get ripped. During their conversation, NeNe is sidelined by an e-mail from her father bailing on her big day. She can't believe he didn't have the decency to at least call her.
Last night on I Dream Of NeNe, "bridemaid" drama continued between Marlo Hampton and Diana Gowins, except Diana got the memo loud and clear that she better shape up and get on Team Worship NeNe Leakes! The ladies also traveled to Cancun for NeNe's bachelorette party. Of course no one behaved accordingly.
Things started out fine. In the van from the airport everyone was joking around pretending to smoke twizzlers and then deep throat them. Marlo excelled in that arena. Once they arrived they discovered a soccer team was sharing their resort which was fine for some of the ladies, namely Dawn!
The jollies continued as the ladies participated in the nipslip olympics. First was some sort of pseudo surf waves which caused Jennifer Williams (I forgot how lovely she is) and Diana to lose precious small bits of bikini coverage over and over again. Thank you for blurry modesty bars. From the sidelines the other ladies cheered and snickered. Diana is really working overtime to prove she isn't the "president" but merely a humble servant. And she's fun too!
Did anyone think NeNe installed some sort of zapper in Diana and whenever she didn't follow the rules NeNe shocked her? She had a personality 180 this episode…
I'm just going to dive right into last night's I Dream Of NeNe because y'all are going to love this. In the throws of planning this wedding, Gregg Leakes has decided to focus his energy on a new venture–a luxury barbershop! Can you blame him? He's just as disturbed as I am that NeNe wants to send an evite for their big day. I'd find something else to garner my attention, too! NeNe doles out Gregg's to-do list, and he is vetoed when he suggests alternatives to the $15,000 cake that is arriving in Atlanta via a first class flight. Poor Gregg always flies coach, I assume. This episode is off to a fabulous start!
The couple goes to check out the gardens where NeNe wants to wed, and Gregg is equally excited about her vision. New wedding planner Tony arrives to rain on her parade. With the wedding in three weeks, Tony can't make the space work with so many guests without three extra weeks, some construction permits, and a lot of extra dough. NeNe refuses to change the date, so she's going to have to change the venue. She isn't happy about this turn of events. Tony was supposed to be able make things happen! And he can…he just needs more time (No time, there's never any time! I don't have time to study plan a wedding, I'll never get into Stanford!). Looks like NeNe's getting married at a hotel, y'all! She's appalled by this turn of events. Really? But the evites are the height of class?
Pop quiz hot shot: You are rumored to have been fired from a bottle-throwing, hair-pulling, drama-filled reality show and you want to gloat about its now declining ratings. What do you do? Well, if you were ever a fixture on VH1's Basketball Wives, you take to Twitter. Duh!
Former BBW stars Jennifer Williams and Royce Reed didn't gel with the show's mean girls, and they aren't a part of this new "healing" season. The ratings haven't been up to par, and many attribute the lack of viewership to fans not condoning the ladies' past behavior. Guess what? That's just fine for Jenn and Royce!
Someone start playing the violin because Basketball Wives'Shaunie O'Neal has a sad story to tell. Not only is her show criticized left and right for portraying women in a hateful, bitter, and violent light (she's working on that, y'all!), but now she may have given someone the boot far too soon.
That's right! Shaunie is having second thoughts about canning former friend Jennifer Williams. While Nostrils doesn't lose any sleep over firing Royce Reed, she's starting to feel melancholy about dear ol' Jenn.
It was the slap heard 'round VH1, and it preceded the bare-footed table jumping that will surely be an event at the next summer Olympics if Evelyn Lozada has her way. At the very least, it should be some new Derby parlor game!