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Joe Gorga

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Melissa Gorga took to her Bravo blog to defend the crazy antics of last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey and attempt a little more damage control. 

Melissa says that last night's brawl was ten years in the making and her Joe just couldn't keep the floodgates from bursting open, "Ten years of hurt and anger in my husband just exploded. He had reached his breaking point.  Joe Giudice immediately demanded an apology when his wife was called “scum.” I wonder how he would have reacted if his wife were called, say, “stripper,” “cheater,” “skank ass beotch,” or “horsey face.”  The fight was about anger, frustration, and resentment. We held it in for so long that eventually we just broke down and couldn’t take it anymore. What Joe was trying to explain to his family is that when you speak negatively about his wife, it is disrespecting him." 

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Oh brother… last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, well… it was a hot, sticky, ridiculous, mess! 

Things begin with a sauced up and (spray on hair'd up)  Joe Gorga charging the brother-in-law who destroyed his life, Joe Giudice. These people are the living embodiment of a soap opera, only not as devious and calculating. Except for Melissa  So anyway, Poison charges at Juicy and unfortunately Juicy immediately drops him and begins punching him.

Poor Melissa Gorga leaps on top of Juicy to try and pry him away from her precious little husbanito. "Teresa, help your brother!" she screams. 

Teresa Giudice is gonna help alright - girlfriend is grabbing her purse, hightailing it out of there, and telling the producers to call the cops. Fire up that party bus cause mama is fleeing the coop! Just kidding, a panicked Teresa bellows to someone to call the cops. Doesn't Juicy have enough felonies?! Do not call the cops, but do get the mace! Or at least some Fabellini to subdue these people. 

Back inside fight club, it takes all of the remaining Gorgadice (and Wallpaper) family members to pry Juicy off of Poison. Or Poison off Juicy – I really couldn't tell who was up and who was down at that point, except Melissa, who was shrieking and scratching.

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Jacqueline Laurita Doesn’t Think She Needed To Be At The Retreat; Says Teresa And Melissa Both Have Fault In Situation

Jacqueline Laurita was the guest on tonight's episode of Watch What Happens Live, which followed the crazy episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (which Mary will be recapping for tomorrow's reading pleasure). 

Jacqueline sums up the issues and any hope between Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga, "That's why there's so much intense feelings because there's so much hurt there, but so much love there, too."

On Joe Giudice's autism comments on last week's episode of RHONJ: "I know a lot of people got hard on Joe for the autism comment but I know Joe and i think he was acknowledging the brains and the intelligence in a lot of children on the spectrum but I think he just has a lack of knowledge of how much time and attention and focus it is and work in terms of raising a child with special need. I think he just doesn't really know but he just saw them as very intelligent which is very true but you know I think he just didn't realize what he was saying." 

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Good lord last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a rare and special breed of ridiculous, wasn't it? So the Gorgadice families went on some silly retreat to put their problems behind them and rebuild. Except it was more passive aggressive blaming and whining from everyone! Yay for something new and exciting. 

Things begin over at Casa de Gorga, amid the crumbling faux marble and the collapsing gold-plate archways they are preparing for the big retreat. Melissa Gorga and Poison are doing their vacation dance ritual and getting into the groove by busting some J. Faux moves and encouraging their kids to dance. "Stripper in the house," Poison bellows as his three-year-old twerks, while daddy erratically humps and grinds the air. Yeah! Shake your moneymaker kids. Great parenting… 

Antonia helps mommy pack and decides among the must haves are a bible and a stuffed unicorn. Makes sense, unicorns because it would be an absolutely fairy tale to imagine these families getting along. And a bible because you never know who may need an exorcism on a RHONJ trip. All signs point to Teresa

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PHOTOS: Melissa Gorga Attends A Movie Premiere; Talks Cheating Rumors And Teresa Giudice Not Defending Her!

Melissa Gorga was out on the town last night with her little Poisonito, Joe for a movie premiere for The Grown Ups 2. Those lucky ducks! The Real Housewives of New Jersey star took the time to address the cheating allegations lobbed at her on Sunday's episode. 

Melissa dismisses the rumors as "disgusting" and levels equal disgust at Teresa Giudice for not defending her when the topic came up. After all if Teresa was really sincere about retreating to a castle to make her family a fairy tale she should have at least told Jan to shut it when she accused Melissa of stepping out on The Joew 2.0.

"I've never cheated on Joe," Melissa informs Us Weekly. "This is all disappointing." Melissa's ex-friend (and former bridesmaid) Jan claimed that Melissa was caught giving her ex-boyfriend Bryan "bl*wj*bs, among other things. 

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Melissa Gorga & Joe Gorga Host Sizzle Tans Customer Appreciation Night

Last up in our fashion flashbacks of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is Melissa Gorga

Comparing Melissa's looks from the first season she signed on up until the current season – do you think her style stayed the same?  Or has it morphed into something completely different? I can definitely pick out which photos are from earlier in her reality TV career.

We have a great (and slightly hilarious) RHONJ cast flashback for later this weekend and then it's on to the ladies of The Real Housewives of New York – starting with Bethenny Frankel (circa 2005!).
 

TELL US – WHICH MELISSA GORGA LOOK IS YOUR FAVORITE?

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Teresa Giudice claims her family is "so happy" now but unfortunately what we're seeing on Real Housewives of New Jersey tells a different story! 

Among the various Gorga family feuds, Teresa's father is also at odds with Kathy Wakile's mother and they have been for years! This week Teresa and Rosie Pierri sat down to try and iron out differences and be a family again. Our source gives us an EXCLUSIVE back story about the Gorga family feuds, both Original Flavor (old school) and Reality TV Flavor (New School starring Poison and Teresa!). 

Apparently part of Teresa's parent's drama with Kathy centers around her decision to join RHONJ despite the family issues. "Teresa's parents were against Melissa [Gorga], Joe, and Kathy joining the show. Why? Because of all the family drama. Who would want their family drama on TV? So, yes, Teresa's father holds a grudge against Kathy and her family as well as their own son and his wife."

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Melissa Gorga At Sugar Factory

Aaaahhhh… Melissa Gorga - I know so much about you, yet nothing at all. The pitfalls of being a reality TV star, I suppose. 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star is opening up in her latest Bravo blog about how everyone thinks Joe Gorga is "p*$$y whipped," brainwashed, and a member of The Cult Of Famewhoring Melissa - and she says it ain't so. No matter what rumors Teresa Giudice be trying to pedal! Whatever helps her cook her books, right?

Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice! 

"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."

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