Calling any reality television casting agents and the rulers of all messy canned drama (Mona? Andy Cohen?)–I promise if I’m ever paid copious (or not so copious) amounts of money on a reality show, I won’t blow said fortune on tanning beds (I’m looking at you, Situation!) or Ed Hardy. I’ll pay down my student loans and maybe buy a car that isn’t over a decade old. Granted, I’d be boring as all get out to watch, but I do have some entertaining friends. I certainly wouldn’t run through whatever money the reality gods wanted to pay me only to continue digging a deeper financial hole for myself. Pinky swear!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d strive to be the exact opposite of Jon Gosselin. After the success of Jon & Kate Plus 8 followed by a nasty divorce from Kate, the two competed for fame whoredom, and blew through their money in the meantime. While Kate seems back on track with Celebrity Apprentice and Kate Plus 8 Jon just can’t get his bank account on point.
Last night on the finale of Celebrity Apprentice, the blustering balloon of buffoonery that is Geraldo Rivera was deflated. And for that, we are eternally thankful. Meanwhile, a new winner was crowned – one deserving, classy, and hard-working – without shenanigans or drama. Sorry I-an ZierLING, it wasn’t you, it was Leeza Gibbons! Congrats lady.
I, personally, think Leeza should been awarded with a rhinestoned crown, bedecked with dollars, and coins, and a sash that read THE Celebrity Apprentice. It would perfectly tie-in with Donald Trump‘s Miss Universe Pageant – that opportunity for cross-marketing was woefully overlooked! If nothing else than for Kenya Moore‘s eyes to turn into lasers at someone else’s pageantry, and for her arguably, possibly, silicone butt to melt into a puddle of wasted dreams and toxic antics. I’m sure we’d also find the charred remains of Vivica A. Fox‘s cellphone in that mess!
It was a live season finale, which meant plenty of opportunity for Donald to slaughter the contestants names ( Ke$HIA Knight Pull-HIM – which sounds like a porn star alter-ego) and for Geraldo to refer to Leeza as “high functioning” – apparently likening her with one of the lovely developmentally disabled individuals his charity supports. He meant it to be complimentary.
If you didn’t watch last night’s season finale of Celebrity Apprentice, I won’t spoil it for you here, but be warned that the recap will be up next and that WILL talk about the winner. Also, don’t read the comment section if you don’t want to know!
Last night the celebrity contestants gathered for the season finale and to “crown” the winner and after the show’s airing was over, the contestants celebrated together.
Donald Trump has already spoken out calling Kenya “evil,” but now the comb-over expert describes Kenya and Vivica as a “total disaster!”
“They truly hate each other. Actually, Kenya hates Vivica like you’ve never seen…probably hates Brandi more than she even hates Vivica,” Donald told E! News. “But the three women on the show are a total disaster, which I love.” Of course, Donald loves it – ratings are through the roof and the season was expanded.
If ever there was a reason for Sig Hansen to finally speak on Celebrity Apprentice, it was while captaining a booze cruise around New York City. Unfortunately someone had to walk the plank! I say I’m fabulous, but The Donald says you’re fired! Now Twirl. Twirl. Twirl. Twirl. Dizzy yet?
CA is moving full-speed ahead through a series of rapid eliminations as they prepare for their LIVE two-hour finale (when editing and producers cannot control the full-scale unleashed crazy of Kenya “Krayonce” Moore and Brandi “Boozdi” Glanville!).
So let’s talk Krayonce, shall we. Oooooh boy! Everybody knows I do not particularly care for the wheels off the underground railroad train that is Kenya’s runaway antics. As someone said on twitter (bless you) “TooFar” is Kenya’s middle name. While I have to appreciate her, shall we say, passionate nature, Kenya always goes OVERBOARD. Last night was the ultimate converging of “Real Housewives Of Atlanta Kenya” and “attempting to revamp my image sophisticated CA Kenya.” Somewhere, Donald Trump and Andy Cohen are in a PTSD clinic, known as WWHL, guzzling a much-needed drink. We’ll cover all the Kenyanigans later.
He’s apparently a jack of all trades…or should I say a “Jon” of all trades? That’s right, folks! Jon Gosselin has yet another job he’s pursuing. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what his career was before Jon & Kate Plus 8, but I’m sure it was something respectable and dad-like. Engineer? Data analyst? A quick Google search only seemed to highlight his latest endeavors.
After his early career, Jon became a reality star then a sadder reality star, then a fame monger, friend to Michael Lohan, dater of young hangers on, Ed Hardy sandwich board, solar panel installer, and, most recently, a waiter. That’s quite a shift in employment! So, what’s next on Jon’s resume?
Celebrity Apprentice continues to weed-out the calm players to make room for the drama to really roll out. And like a switch being flipped last night Kenya Moore set the wheels in motion. Finally – because we’ve been hearing about how so-called vicious this season was and I haven’t seen much evidence of that lately!
Of course, most exciting was Joan Rivers appearing posthumously as an angel from fashion critique past. Awww… Joan, how we’ve missed you and your acerbic wit. I hope Heaven hasn’t made you any less caustic.
It’s not that I’m disappointed by the rollicking hubris of Geraldo Rivera, but at this point it’s as wholly predictable as Kate Gosselin being self-absorbed and bitchy. #BeenThereDoneThat! I’m starting to believe Geraldo is losing his touch because he’s been on the losing team two challenges in a row! Geraldo… don’t rest on your laurels!
Tonight is an all new episode of Celebrity Apprentice and will be bittersweet! The show will feature one of the final TV appearances by the late Joan Rivers. We have a clip of tonight’s episode below, as well as photos of the cast from the TCAs in NYC. Of course, the cat-fighting continues tonight with Kenya vs Vivica and Kenya vs Brandi. And I’m sure Geraldo will annoy our faces off again, too. ! We can’t wait!