Last night was thriving on the cul-de-sac with the return of Sister Wives and, more importantly, Kody Brown's hair. Everyone is thrilled to be in their homes, and everything is as it should be. Kody can run from house to house–it's the best exercise routine ever! The wives are glad that the kids are in such close proximity, but the ladies are still as independent as ever…in other words, they still despise one another. Even with a commitment ceremony looming, the women's interactions are incredibly awkward.
Now that some of the older kids are preparing for college, the family believes that a discussion about a tuition budget should be at the forefront. Kody is anti-student loans. He doesn't want his kids to have any college debt, as if that's entirely feasible. Thanks for reminding me of my debilitating law school debt, Kodster! With Meri about to be an empty nester and Mariah wanting to go to a much pricier school, Kody thinks Meri should shoulder more of the financial obligation.
Robyn has Meri's back, but Kody isn't budging. They call in Mariah to share "their reality," and Christine informs the high school senior that her full time job should be trying to find scholarships. With seventeen kids, no one should get a full ride. A tearful Mariah (when is she not tearful?) explains that she wants to reconnect with her Mormon faith. Janelle wants Mariah to be able to go to the school of her choice. Kody doesn't seem to be onboard with this wife mutiny, and he reminds everyone that he's the common denominator with the children. He's such a prize.
Score one for the Browns! I doubt Kody Brown has been this happy since he found Aqua Net on BOGO at the local Rite Aid! As you recall, the Sister Wives patriarch relocated his family from Lehi, Utah to Las Vegas, Nevada after their polygamous lifestyle became public. I guess that's what starring on a reality show will do for you!
The family cited the move as a way to get away from Utah's anti-polygamist statute which had Kody and wives Meri, Janelle, Christineand Robynfearing jail time. Kody and his wives challenged the law, and it has since been announced as unconstitutional by a federal court judge. Many states have anti-bigamy laws which do not permit people to enter into multiple marriage licenses, but Utah's law made multiple families cohabitating as one punishable with up to five years in prison.
If you're like me, you're wondering what great deed you must have done this weekend to be treated to two full hours of Kody Brown's hair. Oh, and Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn were there too…
The Sister Wives reunion begins with Tamara Hall addressing Kodilocks (thanks reader Hegeira for that hilarious moniker!) and the Brown wives. The family relives the drama of getting financing for the cul-de-sac compound and Meri's tears. Christine and Janelle are sporting some pretty heavy make-up, and Meri explains that there is more potential for jealousy now that the women are in such close proximity. When Tamara tries to dig deeper, Meri begins back-tracking and Christine admits sometimes she is visited by the green monster. Tamara needs to take over the Housewives reunions!
To lighten the mood, the group jokes about a time when Kody was told by Robyn that he needed to put on his big boy panties and get used to his wives empowering themselves with My Sister Wives Closet. He blushes over the jokes as Robyn apologizes. Tamara then shares Danny the builder's insights on Kody and all of his ladies. Everyone agrees that Danny is spot-on with his assessments.
Well, well, well. Are we starting to see some deeper cracks in Kody Brown's "happy" marriages? TLC needed to save the biggest issues for the final episode of the season of Sister Wives. Robyn's budget jewelry line, Meri's coveted wet bar, Janelle's scale hatred, and Christine's crafting have been leading up to some finale night dramz!
Last night, we began with Kody sharing that he and his wives went to counseling when living in Utah, and they are meeting with a new therapist to discuss their issues. This woman was recommended by their previous therapist who specialized in plural families. After taking personality tests (Meri is not on board), we learn that this process is just furthering their mission statement goal. That's really going to be their thing, isn't it? Kody is initially wary of this educated woman. She's probably a feminist, and feminists aren't fans of polygamy. Who knew?
Kody and Meri are sitting down with Mariah to discuss her expensive tuition. Mariah's scholarship doesn't cover very much, and the school costs much more than Logan's UNLV education. Mariah offers to get another job, but Kody reminds her that her she has sixteen other siblings that they need to consider. Kody isn't willing to co-sign any loans because, you know, he wants to retire. Tell me again how you retire from not having a job? Mariah is devastated, and Meri tells Kody that they've been working on other scholarship options that he isn't aware of since he's been so M.I.A. lately. Wait, I thought this cul-de-sac compound was supposed to bring everyone closer….literally?
It was an intense time with Kody Brown and the family on last night's episode of Sister Wives, as they have chosen to participate in a panel discussion on polygamy at UNLV. Kody is concerned that it could turn into a debate. Not surprisingly, Robyn is unnecessarily fired up, Meri couldn't care less, and Janelle is the only one who comes across as sounding very intelligent. Christine doesn't want any part of the negativity, and daughter Aspyn wants to attend to support her mother.
We learn that Christine's Aunt Kristyn is on the opposing side of the panel, as is Kollene, the teenager that Kody's older children met when volunteering at a shelter for people trying to escape abusive polygamist situations. Christine's aunt is worried that the Browns are painting a rosy and unrealistically sunny picture of polygamy. Kristyn is one of eight children (her sister is Christine's mother), and her mother was the first of thirteen wives to her father. She married at seventeen and it wasn't long before her husband was finding new wives. Kristyn finally left him at age fifty. Something tells me Janelle is going to be very interested in hearing her story…
Kollene grew up in a cult-like polygamist family, and she is quick to admit that her experiences are far different from the Browns. While she's never said it, I have a feeling she suffered a lot of abuse. Kristyn shares that met Kody when he was first courting Christine and she was fully supportive of polygamy. Willie is also a panel member who was part of Warren Jeffs FLDS family. He is one of forty-two children and escaped the lifestyle with his mother and six sisters.
Everyone is finally moved into the cul-de-sac compound on Sister Wives, and the kids are ecstatic to be so close to their siblings. Kody thinks that Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn will have the biggest adjustment with boundaries.
Robyn has a grand plan to ceremoniously burn the duffel bag that Kody used to tote from house-to-house. Janelle never really minded what the bag represented, and Kody laughs. To Janelle, the bag is a symbol of her independence and served as a reminder that he'd be leaving soon. Sounds about right!
With Mother's Day on the horizon, Kody is meeting with this jewelry manufacturers to design individually pieces for each of his wives. He's hoping that none of the wives will get jealous. After seeing what Kody has designed, I doubt he'll have to worry. Robyn's piece is a phoenix rising from the ashes, Meri gets a loyal dog crown and heart, Christine's piece will be a mischievous fairy, while poor Janelle gets a tree. Will these be available on the web site?
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody Brown, along with wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn, address audience questions, and not surprisingly, hypocrisy abounds. Discussing the clothing worn by the daughters, Kody reveals that he wants his girls to dress conservatively. The boys don't need to see their goods. Mykelti thinks that the teenage years are the time to experiment with style, and Hunter certainly doesn't have a problem with girls at his school dressing in tight shirts.
Speaking of tight, the kids are then asked if they like how their father dresses. His jeans are far too tight, but Kody shares he's got the body for it, and his wives love seeing his buns in that snug denim. I just threw up in my mouth a bit…
Sometimes I just want to see Kody Brown's hair blowing in the breeze when I watch Sister Wives. I don't want to hear Meri whining or Christine jabbering on about the family's mission statement while Janelle quietly plans her mistake. I certainly don't want to be treated to a little ditty about Robyn's first sexual experience!
The cul-de-sac compound is in full swing, and all of the children are excited to be in such close proximity. Kody's hair is more feathered than normal, and he's looking forward to the first family church service in the new homes. While Kody leads his family in a lesson and has asked his wives to contribute. This week, Robyn will be dishing on chastity and sexual purity. Perhaps that will wake up the teens who are nodding off during Kody's service.