It’s time for an update on those crazy thirty-year-old adults kids from the Jersey Shore! On tap today, we have have a ridiculously rich fist pumper, a very relieved former pill popper, and the announcement of the premiere date for what will likely be the gang’s (or at least Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s) final season of the show.
Forget GTL, everyone’s favorite future pseudo uncle needs a new catchphrase–GTM2, as in gym, tan, make millions. Forbes just released its list of highest paid deejays, and Pauly D was number 7 in the rankings. The easy-going prankster can clearly spin some turntables as it’s being reported he made $11 million in the last twelve months. Yes, you read that correctly! How does one learn to spin tunes? I could surely be a blogger by day and a deejay by night, right? Who needs sleep? Given that Pauly has his own spin-off, a line of clothing, his name on some tanning lotion, and a set of headphones he markets with 50 Cent, it’s safe to say that Pauly is more than just an orange face a pretty face. He’s a cash cow with gravity defying hair!
Recently on Live! With Kelly, the GTLer admitted that he has “a new girlfriend.” I know y’all are all devastated, but you just need to pick up pieces of your broken hearts and move on from the hair gelling ab flasher. It just wasn’t meant to be.
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There’s some good news and some bad news for some of the gang from Jersey Shore. Somebody is getting sued and somebody is going to be an uncle!
Bad news first…Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is being sued by a Florida company called Performance Brands for failing to promote its fat-metabolizing cream. The company claims that they fronted the reality television star $75,000 to endorse the product via social media and personal appearances. However, as soon as Sitch got paid, he checked into rehab for his prescription drug addiction.
TMZ reports that the company is none too happy that Mike failed to perform his contractual obligations, especially since he originally lied about where he was going. Performance Brands wants all of its money back since he failed to disclose his drug addiction. Mike, of course, is firing back with his own law suit, alleging the company failed to provide him with the promotional materials necessary to fulfill his duties.
The National Geographic Channel (thank goodness they stopped trying to make “Nat Geo” stick) is introducing a new series that promises to be equal parts The Godfather, Jersey Shore, and The Sopranos. The show, American Gypsies, sounds like it will be entirely amazing, given that it’s produced by none other than everyone favorite martial arts underdog, Daniel-sanRalph Macchio. When does it start??
Ralph tells the Huffington Post, “This is a fascinating subculture that exists right here in New York. I was astounded by some of the customs and what I would call unorthodox choices and traditions, but [they were] kind of relatable in a way with me being from a Greek-Italian-American family. They have strong beliefs and family comes first — this story needed to be told.”
And so it begins…The cast of Jersey Shore hasn’t been filming their final season for very long, and they are already duking it out in bars, getting arrested, and leaking nude photos. That didn’t take long, did it?
Radaronline.com is reporting that the crew (sans a pregnant Snooki) got into a massive bar brawl Friday night at Bamboo Bar in Seaside Heights. A source reveals, “It started as a small fight, then turned into a massive brawl. Jenni’s boyfriend beat up a few guys, Pauly knocked some guy out, [and] Ronnie [and] Sitch were all there as well, fighting off guys. Jenni sprained her ankle.” No doubt all of these shenanigans happened with MTV’s cameras rolling. I can only imagine the smack down that ensued if the fight involved Roger!
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Cabs are heeya! And they are taking those crazy kids from Jersey Shore back to the beach!
Wetpaint.com is reporting that they’re back for yet another go-round with the twin beds, astro turf roof, and duck phone. A source from the guido hit reveals that the cast is gearing up to head to Seaside Heights where they will begin filming the new season on May 21. As they will film through July, Snooki will be close to popping out that little meatball, seeing as she’s due in August.
Even though we’re pretty sure no one actually watched The Pauly D Project, apparently someone did because Pauly’s road manager, Biggie, has decided to take off on his own. Wetpaint reports that since appearing on the show, Biggie has received many DJing offers of his own and has decided to stop living his dreams through Pauly and pursue his own career. But, no worries, the pair are still BFFs. The other members of Pauly’s crew, JROC, Ryan and Jerry show no signs of leaving the fold.
Now that the cast of Jersey Shore is facing what may be their final season at the shore house, the cast looks like they’re all going forward with new ways to stay relevant. Because once the show is over, their “fans” will all move on to the next train wreck.
The Situation, who recently performed a stint in rehab, announced a new pranking series that premiered earlier this week. The classy show is looking for viewers to submit videos based on suggestions like “Best Hook Up with a Grenade” or “Loudest Fart in a Public Place.” This makes Jersey Shore look like Mad Men. The Situation says he’s happy to be free to be as gross as he wants to be, “I’m excited to work in an uncensored environment and see where the show takes me.”
Vinny Guadagnino, who famously left the show early last season due to anxiety, made good on his threat to publish a self-help book. Control the Crazy: My Plan to Stop Stressing, Avoid Drama and Maintain Your Inner Cooldropped this week. Here is one suggestion on how to work on anxiety that requires no therapy or medication: stay out of stressful environments, like say, reality show filming. Vinny will also tour the country and speak to college kids about anxiety disorder. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and am always happy to see a public person speak out about this, but it still feels a bit fake. On the other hand, if it gets anyone out there into treatment and makes them feel less alone, then I’m glad Vinny is doing this.
Finally, another change for our pregnant guidette, Snooki. Not only has he had to give up her legendary binge drinking now that she’s pregnant, but Snooki had to give up her true love: tanning! Snooki posted photos on her Twitter that showed off what might actually be her natural hue and it’s more China Doll than Lindsay Lohan orange. Dare I say she looks cuter with less tanning? It doesn’t matter, because she’ll likely go back once the baby is born.
TELL US: WILL YOU WATCH SITUATION’S NEW SERIES? READ VINNY’S BOOK?