Everyone starts a new year with good intentions, right? Even reality stars! While I'm sure they all have a bevy of things they'd like to improve upon (one would hope!) we thought we'd give them a little help in that department. Below are some of the New Year's Resolutions we wish some of our favorite reality stars would make.
Kim Kardashian: 'Please let my mom leave me alone – I resolve to try and say no to her and stop putting all my embarrassing and indecent moments on TV. I really don't want to have to pull a baby out of my vagina on Keeping Up With The Kardashians like Kourtney did. Does being pregnant mean my child has already sold its soul to E!? I hope not. And I resolve to let being pregnant get more media coverage than that icky divorce. Hopefully my next TV wedding will be less of a mess.'
We really, really hope ol' Kimmie Kakes embraces the notion of privacy. Especially less nudie pics on Twitter and less revealing clothing. We've already seen it all, anyway. #sextape #playboy
And so it begins…The cast of Jersey Shore hasn’t been filming their final season for very long, and they are already duking it out in bars, getting arrested, and leaking nude photos. That didn’t take long, did it?
Radaronline.com is reporting that the crew (sans a pregnant Snooki) got into a massive bar brawl Friday night at Bamboo Bar in Seaside Heights. A source reveals, “It started as a small fight, then turned into a massive brawl. Jenni’s boyfriend beat up a few guys, Pauly knocked some guy out, [and] Ronnie [and] Sitch were all there as well, fighting off guys. Jenni sprained her ankle.” No doubt all of these shenanigans happened with MTV’s cameras rolling. I can only imagine the smack down that ensued if the fight involved Roger!
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The release of the year’s least anticipated spin-off, Snooki and JWoww is imminent! Slated to premiere on MTV June 21, the show will feature the twoJersey Shore stars in their own paid-for MTV digs. Luckily, it’s not the bacteria cesspool that is the shore house. Snooki tells US Magazine that it’s much more feminine, “It’s very big, just think of a guidette Barbie house, that’s what it looks like. It looks like animal print threw up everywhere.”
At the time that article was posted, Snook hadn’t yet revealed the sex of her baby, and coyly hinted that she would have dressed her child like Pauly D if it were a boy. She’s now confirmed she’s having a mini Jionni!
Cabs are heeya! And they are taking those crazy kids from Jersey Shore back to the beach!
Wetpaint.com is reporting that they’re back for yet another go-round with the twin beds, astro turf roof, and duck phone. A source from the guido hit reveals that the cast is gearing up to head to Seaside Heights where they will begin filming the new season on May 21. As they will film through July, Snooki will be close to popping out that little meatball, seeing as she’s due in August.
Even though we’re pretty sure no one actually watched The Pauly D Project, apparently someone did because Pauly’s road manager, Biggie, has decided to take off on his own. Wetpaint reports that since appearing on the show, Biggie has received many DJing offers of his own and has decided to stop living his dreams through Pauly and pursue his own career. But, no worries, the pair are still BFFs. The other members of Pauly’s crew, JROC, Ryan and Jerry show no signs of leaving the fold.
Jersey Shore‘s Deena Nicole followed in the footsteps of her fellow meatball Snooki and dropped a bunch of weight recently with the help of the “Fresh Diet” a pre-packaged meal delivery system popular with other celebs like Sherri Shepherd. Radar posted the photo of her recent transformation on their site, and I’m still suspicious that she had a bit more done than just lose weight, like perhaps get an entirely new face, but we may never truly know!
Jersey Shore star Pauly D’s GTL routine today = gym, tan, lawsuit. Pauly D’s former talent agency, ICM, is suing him for their cut of his salary.
Pauly dropped the agency and moved over to WME, but ICM claims that Pauly still owes them their ten percent–$370,000–for the past two season of the show.
The lawsuit isn’t shocking; it happens all the time in Hollywood. But what is shocking to me, is how much the cast is making! In two seasons, Paulyraked in almost $4 million between his salary, bonuses and other merchandising.
This is why I got a little bored with Jersey Shore after the first two seasons. At first, it was fun because they were these broke roommates taking jobs at random shops down the Shore. Their popularity skyrocketed and suddenly they were raking in HUGE money for appearances and got hefty raises from MTV. After that, I had a hard time buying into this “regular working class” party house at the shore premise, knowing they were actually making millions.
In other Shore news, recently rehabbed housemate, The Situation, is being encouraged to bring along a sober coach when he returns to Seaside next season!
A source shared with Radar Online that “doctors at Cirque Lodge advised him that he should have a sober living companion with him at all times when he is in Seaside Heights. The sober living companion would have to move into the Shore house along with the other cast members. The companion wouldn’t need, nor want to appear on camera, but putting Mike back into that world without a strong support system around him is asking for trouble. Mike doesn’t think he needs someone to be with him and essentially be a babysitter, and this has his doctors extremely concerned for his sobriety and recovery.”
I’m almost disappointed that the sober coach most likely will not appear on the show. The storyline possibilities are endless! MTV’s scriptwriters producers should rethink that one!
In all seriousness, I’m curious to see how this plays out once filming starts. Will MTV make light of his sobriety attempt and turn into drama for the show? Or will they take the high road and truly try to help him stay clean?
In other MTV news, I’m heading up a letter writing campaign. MTV has scarred me for life and ruined my beloved ‘Titanic’. Take a look at the nude Situation below. As a friend, I’m warning you: You can’t unsee it once you’ve pressed play!
Last night was the last straw of the latest season of Jersey Shore, culminating in a snooze fest reunion. The season’s highlights are recapped, and everyone laughs at light-hearted jokes about GTL and Deena’s tornado. Mike and Snooki are the first two in the hot seat to discuss the did-they-or-didn’t-they hook up. This reunion was clearly filmed pre-Situation rehab.
The gang watches clips showing how Mike plotted his diabolical plan which was often thwarted in Seaside Heights. Mike claims he didn’t want to be painted as a liar. After the footage, Snooki and Mike are screaming at each other on the reunion sofa. Again, does she protest too much? Rawn is thrilled that they are the new Ronnie and Sam. JWoww stands up for Snooki from the rafters. Rawn reveals that the angrier Nicole appears, the guiltier she looks.
Rawn goes on a roid rage begging them to drop it. Snooki claims that if she was going to hook up with a roommate, it wouldn’t be Mike, it would be Vin, and she’s been there, done that. Literally. Vinny looks uncomfortable. Pauly chimes in, saying that if he had been Jionni, Mike would still be swallowing his teeth. He believes Jionni was too passive. Basically nothing is resolved…no love lost between Snookster and the Sitch.
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