Stassi Schroeder

kristen-stassi-katie

Dear Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute, and Katie Maloney,

Your desperation is showing! And, oh my, that’s the type of thing most ‘nice girls’ would keep tucked away. Although I guess we’re dealing with mean girls here.

Now listen, no one said Lala Kent was sweet or innocent, but y’all have been riding her harder than her allegedly married boyfriend is, and it’s a bit ridiculous to equate a few snippy comments with the stalking and harassment on and off Vanderpump Rules. You’re essentially looking jealous.

Sincerely,

Mary (a nobody with a brain)

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Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval on WWHL

Ariana Madix must feel like a kindergarten teacher most days – you know, that moment when you look around and notice that you are literally the ONLY adult in the room? Despite this phenomenon, the Vanderpump Rules star says she’s been fairly happy with how this season has gone thus far, and with the fan feedback she’s been getting. But she does warn that things are about to get crazier (than usual?) during the second half of season five – and that she’ll inevitably get caught up in the madness.

Of the mid-season VPR trailer released this week, Ariana says, “It looks really intense. It’s funny, because everything has been pretty good so far, but now I’m getting kind of nervous for the rest of the season. It’s really ramping up.”

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Ariana at Katie's Bridal shower

So, do we think Brittany Cartwright‘s mama is going to be successful in her quest to get Jax Taylor into a church?! If so, will the holy water turn him into liquefied jelly – or will he start speaking in tongues?! Oh wait, he already does… Yes, an exorcism must be done on Vanderpump Rules, but shockingly, Jax isn’t the one who needs it. OK, maybe he does, but not as bad as some people…

So let me tell you a little story about a Three-Headed SheBeast named KriStasstie – if that sounds like a very weird food served in an eastern European prison, or a disease you probably do not want to contract from a monkey, well, it’s not far off.

This is the story about three women who have absolutely NO IDEA how unimportant their opinions are, and their self-aggrandized delusions about their amazing friendships are, well, sad. Really sad. Thank goodness we have the ‘boyfriend stealing’ Ariana Madix, of the dewy mermaid skin and evil eye to put them in their place. And their place is out by the dumpsters at SUR. Who knows…they may even be puking in them.

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tom-ariana

The only two sane people left on Vanderpump Rules, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix, were Andy‘s guests tonight on Watch What Happens Live. They covered a variety of topics, including Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Scheana Marie‘s mystery man and more!

Andy plays clips from Kristen Doute‘s comedy sketch and asks Ariana for her thoughts. She very diplomatically says, “I think it’s cool when people work hard on their thing and put it out there. It’s a harsh world out there, so there’s going to be some positive and there’s going to be some negative opinions.”

Stassi Schroeder & Kyle Cooke

Stassi Schroeder had Kyle Cooke as her most recent podcast guest. Kyle is the blonde guy from Summer House who compared Stassi (in her turtleneck swimsuit) to Steve Jobs. “That scene made my year,” Stassi laughs. Kyle actually wore a turtleneck to the interview.

Apparently, Kyle is more than just a drunken womanizer! He’s a businessman who is starting an app to provide dating advice in 2017. Stassi quizzed him, and they dished on their disastrous ‘hook-up attempt’ in Montauk, some behind-the-scenes Jax Taylor gossip, and Kyle’s various business ventures. (Yes, he already has products for the Bravo Home Shopping Network!).

Kyle is very well-spoken and sounds thoughtful and intelligent. I actually enjoyed listening to his perspectives.

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SUMMER HOUSE -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Cristina Gibson, Carl Radke, Lindsay Hubbard, Kyle Cooke, Jaclyn Shuman, Stephen McGee, Ashley Wirkus, Lauren Wirkus, Everett Weston -- (Photo by: Virginia Sherwood/Bravo)

I have to be honest, I was annoyed with Summer House before I saw any of it. I wasn’t here for Bravo’s attempt to trick me into watching by not-so-subtly having the Wirkus twins show up at SUR to have lunch with Stassi Schroeder during Vanderpump Rules. It felt a little contrived. Nevertheless, when they previewed Summer House during another Pump Rules episode, I fell for the trick full force and loved the show. I didn’t want to love it, but I actually did and I think you should give it a chance as well.

First off, if you’re anything like me i.e. someone who watches every show on Bravo, then you’ll just end up viewing this one anyway. So why delay that and end up binge watching when you can just get into it straight out of the gate? If that’s not enough to convince you, I have some other reasons.

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Build Presents Stassi Schroeder Discussing Her Podcast

Stassi Schroeders latest podcast covers issues far and wide in the realms of reality TV – from how villains save reality TV, to Real Housewives, to how The Bachelor has changed. But the Vanderpump Rules star also discusses her dream funeral, high-stakes Instagram negotiation, and why she’s obsessed with Asian women.

Below are some of the highlights (I use that term loosely). Stassi’s guest is her friend, comedian Annabelle DeSisto. Honestly, almost every topic on the show came back to death of some sort, which is strange.

First, “DJ James f–king Kennedy, the human scrotum” is the latest thing making Stassi contemplate suicide, because it is super unfair he could inherit money from George Michael. She texted everyone a pic a cult’s mass suicide, because if James gets any money, they’re going to want to kill themselves.

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Stassi Schroeder

During a recent episode of Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen was doing what he could to set up Stassi Schroeder with Timber Creek Lodge star Mark Milburn. And to be honest, it really didn’t seem like he was off base. They’re both attractive Bravo stars and they had a lot of matching answers when Andy quizzed them on various dating preferences. So did they actually end up going out?

It would be pretty cool if Stassi and Mark ended up dating, especially since Andy set up Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg during an episode of WWHL and they are now happily married. Plus, it’s rare for Stassi to be single, so I feel like it’s not going to last for long. Still, even though they had a lot of the same answers during Andy’s game, that might not do it for Stassi. She seems to be pretty picky, but then again she dated Jax Taylor for years, so what the hell am I talking about?

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