The Hills

In the beginning there was a housewives franchise for any given night of the week, and then, there was Watch What Happens Live.  I must admit I was beside myself when Andy Cohen decided to make his fete a nightly deal.  I guess I overestimated the amount of guests who would entertain me in the clubhouse.  I don't care about has-beens or random current reality stars that know nothing of all things Bravo.  I want dish and dirt and a worthy jackhole.

Ask and ye shall receive.  My Monday night WWHL was everything I like to see happening in the clubhouse.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Taylor Armstrong was present to clear up any rumors that she needed and intervention, and, I'll be honest, as much as I dislike her on the show, she was pretty funny and self-depreciating with ol' Andy.  Joining her was The Hills' Kristin Cavalarri who looked fabulous after just having a baby boy.  MTV's resident bitch was likeable and (dare I say it?) hilarious during her debut night in the clubhouse. 

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Looking back at her reality star fame, Heidi Montag says, “It was quite the whirlwind, and I’m happy to be out of it.” In a recent interview with Access Hollywood, the former The Hills star says she is glad to be out of the spotlight and has many regrets, including the disgusting extreme plastic surgery she underwent in 2009.

Originally, Heidi sought help from a plastic surgeon to fix a broken nose. But, she got a little a lot carried away and elected to have 10 procedures done in one day… a brow lift, a nose job, plumped up lips and cheeks, a chin reduction, breast implants, liposuction, Botox, and more.  
 
"I kind of wanted a few enhancements and then it kind of got out of hand," Heidi admits. "I wasn't really told the repercussions and what would happen, emotionally and psychically, and the pain I would be in. I was kind of in shock." In addition, the extreme enhancements left the reality TV star nearly unrecognizable.
 
"I would never do it again, and I would never recommend it for anyone," Heidi shares. "I just focus now on being healthy, alive, and strong."
 
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Oh, isn’t irony a fun little thing… Plastic surgery’s biggest walking don’t advisory, Heidi Montag (who went from adorable to scary after 10 procedures in one day) is again reminding us why au naturale is better!

Speaking to In Touch Weekly the former reality star – who can’t get a job now since no one recognizes her – claims she regrets her decision to drastically alter her appearance. And she’s claiming all the liposuction has given her cellulite! How can someone who is that skinny minny possibly need lipo?

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I hope you heard me choking with sarcasm as I typed the words “classy”, “Heidi Montag” and “album” together in one post title.

She’s baaack. Heidi Montag cashed in her change jar or traded some crystals to pay for time in the studio and released her second album last week. She “graces” the cover of Dreams Come True with all of her plastic parts hanging out in a slinky pink…um..dress? swimsuit? nighty? I’m not really sure what it’s supposed to be.

Heidi’s new album dropped last week.  No word on whether or not she sold more than 1,000 copies this time around.

In other Speidi news, Spencer Pratt is STILL buying his special crystals.  He shared along with the photo below on Twitter:

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Lauren Conrad

Former Hills star, Lauren Conrad has moved on to bigger and better things. Lauren is now working on a movie deal for her debut book L.A. Candy, which has been on the New York Times bestseller list for the past 14 weeks, since its release in June.

Similar to Lauren’s life, L.A Candy follows a 19-year-old girl, Jane Roberts who relocates to Hollywood and becomes a famous reality star.

“Lauren, who became an icon in that reality show world, came to us with a structure of how to tell the story in an interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book,” Temple Hill producer Marty Bowen said. “We loved her take. Her book is an honest portrayal of what it must be like to set out to be normal, then sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn’t at all what I’d planned for myself.”

According to PEOPLE, Lauren has no plans to act in the movie. She also plans to write two more books in the series and will serve as the movie’s executive producer.

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Lauren Conrad takes on Heidi and Spencer Pratt over their fame seeking ways in next month’s edition of Harper’s Bazaar magazine. She also makes mention of her former BFF’s boob job.  When asked why Heidi posed in September’s issue of Playboy, Lauren cleverly made reference to Heidi’s cosmetic enhancements saying, “They’re not going to pay for themselves.”

She doesn’t stop there. “I don’t call magazines and let them know about things so they can write stories,” she says of the Pratts. “There was never an incentive to keep doing The Hills so I could get into [Hollywood club] Les Deux. That was never the point. It was more to create a fan base so I can go create a business and do something I really love doing.” Lauren however goes on to say she finds both Heidi and Spencer to be very entertaining and funny to watch.

In the inteview, she mentions how her life has changed since The Hills and the price of fame. One of the drawbacks of fame according to Lauren include being unable to take part in regular activities, like having a normal relationship or planning a vacation.

“My roommate went to Europe for two months, but I couldn’t take a vacation without clearing it months and months ahead of time,” she says. “My friends all got to date guys who didn’t need to sign a release form.”

“The last three concerts I went to, I was removed by security because I was a fire hazard,”adds Lauren. “People crowd around you and you lose that whole personal-space concept.”

In the photo shoot, Laura wore a brown wig which will be donated to a young girl undergoing chemotherapy in the Detroit area.

Bringing you the top rated Cable Reality TV Shows for the week ending April 26, 2009:

Rank

Shows

NET

DAY

Time

Viewers

In Millions (000)

1

FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J (FINALE)

VH1

Mon

10:00P-11:30P

4,223

2

I LOVE MONEY 2

VH1

Mon

09:00P-10:00P

2,491

3

THE HILLS

MTV

Mon

10:00P-10:30P

2,342

4

DAISY OF LOVE

VH1

Sun

10:00P-11:00P

1,950

5

RW/RR THE DUEL 2

MTV

Wed

10:00P-11:00P

1,798

Courtesy of TVbyTheNumbers