Last night, Tonya Banks continued to feel the wrath of boyfriend Kerwin and Terra Jole, who have both apparently decided it’s time to torture Lil’ Boss! But guess who inserts herself into the drama, per usual? It’s everyone’s favorite TMZ source, Christy McGinity Gibel! Oh, Little Women: LA, we cannot fault you for a lack of messiness. We can only sit and observe. And snark.
We pick up right where we left off last week at Tonya’s house, where Kerwin is losing his F-in mind over Tonya not picking up all of her belongings from Jaa’s. Kerwin is obsessed with these crates of garbage merchandise that Tonya and Jaa share as business partners, suspecting that Tonya wants to be another kind of partner to Jaa again. Tonya tries to reason with him, but Kerwin is high on paint fumes or something, because he is nearly ready to break up over this.
Close your eyes with me for a moment and imagine this: A Little Women: LA episode not prominently featuring the abysmal hellfire of Briana Renee and her dirtball husband, Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer). Like, at all. Now open your eyes! Because our prayers have been answered – at least for this week.
Yes, my friends, we have been spared one full hour of nonstop Briana drama to focus on, well, totally unrelated drama between Terra Jole and Tonya Banks. So, okay, it is not a perfect world. It is kind of like we’ve been pulled up from the 7th circle of Dante’s Inferno to…I don’t know, the 5th circle? But I’ll take it!
It’s time for more baby showers that no one wants to attend and friendships that no one wants to mend on this week’s Little Women: LA!
Last night we learned that Jasmine Sorge is a glutton for punishment as she throws Briana Renee another awkwardly attended shower, despite Briana’s horrid treatment of her. Did Jasmine learn nothing from that el depresso bridal shower last season? This will not be a gathering of happy campers. (Literally, the RSVP boxes on these shower invites should read: “Yes,” “Regretfully, no” and “What the f*ck dude!?”)
Love him or hate him, it is pretty interesting that The Apprentice star Donald Trump went from being a reality TV star to a presidential candidate. It got me thinking about celebrities that I enjoy watching on reality TV who I would love to see run for president.
To make it clear, I don’t necessarily think any of these people should actually be president, just that it definitely would have been entertaining if we had them in the mix at some point during the nomination and election processes. Also, this list is meant to be a complete joke, so chill out with the political commentary and just have fun with the “what if” political possibilities.
After Matt forbids Briana from even telling her friends the location of hospital she’s in, she signs off from her jail cell. Elena Gant and Preston are staying out of this mess as much as possible, likely to focus on the birth of their twin boys and Elena’s precarious health (she was diagnosed with preeclampsia). Though some might fault these two for not getting involved in the Bonnie & Clydetastrophe, I say: good on ya! No one, and I mean NO ONE, dips their toe into that sewage pile without walking away smelly. Briana is not changing her mind about Matt, and Elena seems to understand this. Hey, she’s Russian! She read Anna Karenina…maybe.
It is really killing me not to make some sort of pun about the cast of Little Women: LA having big drama, but I just gotta jump into the good stuff. Everyone who watches the show knows that Terra Jole and Christy McGinity Gibel cannot stand each other.
Shit really hit the fan when they got into a bar fight (while wearing cowboy hats) and Christy ended up filing for a police report. That seemed to be a point of no return because the women are STILL battling it out over the incident.
Last night we witnessed the many pregnancies of Little Women: LA progressing, with some hullabaloo along the way concerning head injuries past and domestic sketchiness present. And Terra Jole is loving every messy minute of it!
After the ladies were informed of Briana Renee’s health scare last week, they are left to question what the real truth is about her “pre-term labor” claims. And whether Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer) is basically holding her hostage in a hospital bed somewhere in a dark basement, allowing her to Face Time friends and communicate a Morse Code “H-E-L-P” signal through subtle eyebrow movement. Or maybe he’s just a misunderstood guy who’s trying to take care of his wife out of the public spotlight? Nah. Basement kidnapping it is!
Welcome back to Little Women: LA, the show that never stops filming! It seems like season 4 was just wrapping when BAM! Season 5 is suddenly upon us. I, for one, couldn’t be happier. Lifetime must know that they cannot take a hiatus with these women, lest someone chuck a glass at someone else’s head between seasons. Plus, nearly everyone has had or is having babies these days, so every minute counts. I say, let’s just strap Go Pros to everyone’s heads and be done with it!
When we left off on season 4, Christy McGinity and Terra Jole had temporarily laid down their swords over their altercation at line dancing night, with Christy bitterly reviving the whole mess at the LWLAReunion. She still claims a concussion diagnosis. Tonya Banks had forced convinced her ex, Kerwin, to leave his lady friend and take up with her. Jasmine Sorge’s hubby was relegated to busing tables at his father in law’s restaurant, having not found work close to home. Elena Gant and hubby Preston were expecting twin boys – awwwww! And Briana Renee and Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer) were, well, how do I put this? A HELLISH MESS. Oh – also, Jasmine’s pregnant, Terra’s pregnant, Briana’s pregnant, you’re pregnant, I’m pregnant (kidding!). It’s a virtual baby bonanza up in here!