Basketball Wives Recap: The Aftermath

We resume with Basketball Wives where we seem to every week…with a fight involving Evelyn Lozada.  Shoeless (we all know what that means, don’t we Kenya Bell?), she steps across the table to get to Jenn Williams who has just been smacked by her friend Nia.  Evelyn takes a flying leap off the table into the arms of a waiting production team bouncer.  I would ask when will these ladies ever learn, but I’m pretty sure the answer is “Never.”  But I will ask, when will these venues stop letting these kooks film their show at their places?

Evelyn wants Jennifer dead for thinking she’s better than Nia.  How dare Jenn call Nia a “bum b*tch?” Evelyn wreaks havoc on a plant while Jenn watches.  Nia calls out Jenn for having celebrity friends.  Tami Roman can’t even regain control of the situation.  She’s confused.  Jenn decides it’s time to leave, and Evelyn beaks down in tears because you don’t judge a b*tch.  You nevah evah judge a b*tch, ya hear?  Gracious.  Kesha Nichols leaves with Jenn, and she asks if the attack was expected.  Kesha should know by now that outbursts are par for the course with these “ladies.”


Evelyn is inconsolable after Jenn has told Nia that she won’t sue her as she has nothing to go after.  Tami is disturbed to see that snobbier side of Jenn.  Shaunie O’Neal is beside herself.  Everything was so calm, cool, and collected—what in the world happened?  Shaunie begged Jenn not to initiate anything.  Did I miss something?  It seems Ms. O’Neal never blames her friends who get physical.  I must say, Jenn certainly doesn’t need to act like she is any better than any of these wackadoos.

Suzie Ketcham joins Kesha and Jenn.  I can’t tell if Jenn is crying or texting or both, and Kesha feels badly for her.  Jenn reveals that she doesn’t want anything to do with Nia because she is so close to Evelyn.  Suzie finds the whole situation sad as she goes through all the times Jenn has been on the receiving end of a fist/drink/handbag.

Jenn’s mini-me Kenya returns this episode to have cocktails with her idol.  Jenn shares with Kenya that she is going to press charges against Nia.  I mean, she sells make-up.  Her product is her face.  She sells products with her face…hence, call the authorities.  Sure.  Jenn gets upset talking about it, as she and Evelyn have been through so many good times.  They were baptized together and Evelyn was a bridesmaid in her wedding.  That is some pretty heavy stuff.  Kenya can’t stress enough that she is going through an almost identical situation, as she’s getting divorced and Evelyn hates her too.  Jenn isn’t convinced.

Tami and Evelyn go on a walk, and Tami hopes to gauge Evelyn’s take on what happened at the race track.  They mostly end up laughing and doing a spot-on recreation of the events.  Tami found Jenn’s earring after the brawl, and she is keeping it as a souvenir.  Evelyn has multiple bruises due to her table jumping shenanigans.  Tami is upset to learn that Evelyn will never entertain a reconciliation with Jenn.  Tami has a good plan…from here on out, she’s just going to hang out with Kesha who gets so far out of the way when there is a fight, you wonder if she’s in a different state.

Kesha and Royce Reed head to the park to do yoga.  Kesha fills Royce in on the fight at the race track.  The conversation moves to a discussion of Royce’s relationship with Dezmon Briscoe.  Kesha wants to meet the guy who makes Royce “glow.”  Oh, what a difference a few months can make!

Evelyn has a photo shoot for her book cover.  She’s thrilled that Baby and Slim have taken the time to come and give their opinions.  Tami also comes to support her friend.  The pair discusses Jenn’s police report, and as far as Tami’s concerned, that is the worst thing a person can do.  Where she is from, you just take your beating and move along.  What is up with these women?

Evelyn just can’t get over the fact that she was friends with Jenn for so long and now she believes she and her family was being judged the whole time.  Fear not though, Jenn…Evelyn will never write a tell-all.  That’s just not classy.  Evelyn is touting her own make-up line and making fun of Jenn’s Lucid line.  Tami and Nia jump on board.  This is “real friendship” exclaims Nia.

Kenya suggests that Jenn takes a self-defense class with her so they can spend some more quality time together.  Kenya admits that she is always hesitant to fight, as her temper could render someone injured pretty badly.  Just ask her soon-to-be-ex-husband!  Jenn is impressed with Kenya’s strong fighting ability, but she knows that Kenya has mad skills due to her crazy factor.

Kesha, Suzie, and Evelyn go shopping.  Kesha treads lightly when asking about the history behind the fight.  She tries to stand up for Jenn, while expressing her concern that Evelyn is going to end up in jail if she continues her violent streak.  Suzie hopes that Kesha remembers her place.

Evelyn changes the subject to the upcoming trip to Tahiti.  Suzie and Kesha are excited about the trip and shocked when Evelyn says she wants Jenn to join them.  Do what?  Good one, Ev!  Speaking of good ones, Suzie gifts Evelyn with a vibrator that has thirteen different settings for her upcoming birthday.  She thinks it will be a good stress reliever as Chad Ochocinco won’t be with the women in Tahiti.  Suzie jokes that it may help Evelyn’s rage and save her from breaking any more wine bottles.  Evelyn is not so sure…

Suzie, Royce, and Kesha head to Dave and Busters to meet Dezmon and some friends.  Royce pleads with Suzie to watch her mouth when she gets drunk so as not to embarrass Royce.  Suzie thinks Dezmon is “hot chocolate.”  Kesha loves hanging out with Suzie and Royce because she doesn’t have to be so guarded.  Dezmon does a back flip, and Suzie predicts the new couple will go the distance.  Remind me never to have Suzie tell my fortune.

For Evelyn’s birthday, she is doing mani/pedis before her party with her “branding manager”/ghost writer Courtney, Tami, and Shaunie.  Check that, Tami won’t be able to make the party because her mother is sick, and Shaunie will be heading out early to get back to Los Angeles.  So, Courtney and Evelyn head out to celebrate the big event.

Does Evelyn ever wear a dress without cutouts?  The first part of the surprise is all of her girlfriends dressed in thigh-highs and men’s white button downs.  After changing into a pleather catsuit, Evelyn and the women are treated to a strip tease…which Suzie eventually joins.  Girlfriend is flexible.  Evelyn is informed that an uninvited guest is downstairs.  She heads downstairs to find a white Maserati waiting for her—a present from Chad.  It appears that as a gift to you, dear readers, this episode is not going to end in a brawl, but instead with lap dances.  Who knew?

Next week, newest cast member Nia is upset about the police report, and Kenya vies for more quality time with JennRoyce’s father makes her cry.