Basketball Wives Reunion Recap: Damage Control Part Deux

John Salley is back to lead us through the second installment of the Basketball Wives reunion special.  Last night’s portion proved to be more of a train wreck than the first time around which was basically just one giant PR move.  I don’t know about y’all, but I am ready to say good riddance to these “ladies” for a very long time.

John reminds us of Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco’s relationship.  Besides the Masarati, I wonder if Evelyn can watch this and not see how poorly he speaks to her.  Chad is funny and all, but she is a doormat with him!  Evelyn promotes the couple’s spin-off for a bit, happy she has the opportunity to show viewers a softer side.  John then segues into listing Royce Reed’s relationships throughout the seasons.  Of Dezmon Briscoe, Royce will only say curtly that they are doing “good.”  John reminds her of Dezmon and his baby mama’s twitter drama.  Royce says she chose to stay with him for all the things he did right instead of the one thing he did wrong.  Footage of her fight with her father is shown.  John jokes that Royce is a crybaby, and he pretty much sides with her dad while doling out his own fatherly advice.  John also shows clips from her New York acting debut that ended up on the cutting room floor.  Tami Roman reveals she was pleasantly surprised at Royce’s talent.  John touts that as quite a compliment because he believes Tami is an amazing actress.  Huh?


The craziness of Tami’s bullying and acting a fool on Kesha Nichols in Tahiti is revisited.  Funny, did you notice how they barely showed any footage of Tami yelling or raising her voice?  Tami explains that she wasn’t trying to get Kesha to fight her, she just wanted Kesha to learn how to stick up for herself.  Aww, how sweet of you, Tami!  A learning experience.  Kesha once again tries to clarify that she said “she could have gone off” not “she wanted to go off” on Tami.  She reminds Tami that she has the right to talk to Royce about her what is going on in her life, although she wishes she’d never opened her mouth to Suzie Ketcham.  Suzie is quick to cuss her way out of it, claiming that she never told Tami anything.  How stupid does she think we are?  Seriously?  Tami is quick to come to Suzie’s defense, saying she didn’t hear it from Suzie.  What a bunch of liars.  Evelyn jumps in to say that Suzie gets a bad rap.  I’ll tell you what’s bad…the fact that I can still catch Suzie’s lisp even when she’s being bleeped.

Tami acknowledges that she could have handled things differently, but she wants to know why Kesha never came to her with her complaints.  Kesha is quick to point out that if Tami had come to her as calmly as she’s doing now, they could have had a conversation about it.  Um, Kesha?  Did you not hear her the first time?  She’s ALREADY ACKNOWLEDGED she could have done it differently.  How many times are you going to make her say it.  Sheesh.  I find it extremely hypocritical that Tami keeps using that excuse while continuing to badger Kesha about why she was talking behind her back.  I think it’s pretty clear that Kesha wasn’t going to approach an insane bully with her issues.  I know, I know, Tami has already acknowledged she should have done things differently.

Tami wants Kesha to take responsibility for talking about her to “someone” who most definitely, certainly, keeping it one hundred was NOT Suzie.  Did you notice that Tami gets a round of applause when she starts talking smack to Kesha?  Who is in the audience?  Her family?  Kesha is willing to do that, but she wants Tami to know she didn’t appreciate how badly she was bullied.  Oh no, she di-int!  Tami is a lot of things, but she isn’t a bully.  She can’t be a bully, you see, because her daughters have been bullied in school (maybe about the fact that their mother is a giant bully?).  Tami thinks Kesha is confusing “bullying” with the fact that she just can’t stick up for herself.  Kesha calmly explains that she can handle herself just fine, but she’s not going to indulge Tami’s bad behavior by responding in kind.  Tami wants to remind Kesha that she did her a favor by getting her pocketbook for her.  Is she for real?  Tami isn’t a bully, she’s just boisterous.  This is just.  Too.  Much.  She’s kidding, right?  Please tell me she’s kidding.

Jenn Williams returns after taking the polygraph.  She feels a tad violated.  John reminds the ladies of the rest of the trip, and I do love Kenya Bell’s psycho stare.  Evelyn and Jenn’s conversation is rehashed, but again, notice that they didn’t show Evelyn chasing Jenn back to her bungalow screaming the whole time.  Spin it, Shed, spin it!  Shaunie O’Neal steps in to put on her producer hat, saying that they take Jenn’s law suit very seriously.  However, she would hate to see someone (read: Nia Crooks) potentially go to jail because of a mistake.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize punching someone in the face constituted a “mistake.”  Shaunie says, “You’ve proven your point, boo.”  Really?  Shaunie claims that Nia got reckless, much like Jenn admits to getting reckless with her words.  Shaunie isn’t doing herself or her image any favors after that little outburst.

John wants to take the tension down a notch, and he decides to show footage of his boss’ Shaunie’s daughter’s tenth birthday.  Shaunie is able to talk about how her children come first, and she hates that drama is shown more than her family time.  Balance, you know?  Shaunie thinks she can speak for all the women (wait, actually just her friends on her side of the soundstage) when she says she wishes the show focused less on the drama.  Those other ladies that Shaunie never took the time to get to know may think differently.  That’s basically what she says…in a nutshell.  Oh gracious, John gives Tami and Evelyn a big ol’ pat on the back for raising breast cancer awareness by getting a mammogram.  Please!  They had their boobs squashed between two cold metal plates and acted like it was the most painful thing ever.  This show is treating them as if they singlehandedly saved a bunch of babies and kittens from a burning building.

John has the results of the polygraph.  According to the machine, Evelyn truly believes that Jenn wrote the dreaded blog and premeditated her law suit against Nia.  However, she was lying when she said she didn’t miss their friendship.  Cue a collective awe from this horrible audience.  Jenn seems happy.  As for Jenn’s results, she wasn’t being truthful when she said she wasn’t jealous of Evelyn’s relationship with Chad, but she did admit to missing Evelyn’s friendship.  Shaunie takes the opportunity to talk some more while John reunites the former friends in a tearful and awkward hug.  Evelyn apologizes while Jenn tries her darndest to muster up some tears.

John asks Shaunie about her decision to seek advice from her pastor “last season.”  Sure, it was last season…in no way shape or form was that scene filled after viewer backlash.  Shaunie says she feels “a little” responsible for putting her friends in a situation where they could perceived negatively.  The viewers are judgmental.  Yes, exact words.  Basically part two of this reunion was the Shaunie/Ev/Tami show.  Thank goodness that Kesha called out Suzie so she was able to actually speak.  John reminds Shaunie that those who write negatively about the show have too much time on their hands.  Good to know…and here I didn’t think I had enough hours in my day to get all my work done!  Thanks, John.  Shockingly, oh so very surprisingly, in a “I totally didn’t see that coming” moment, Shaunie announces that the women will be returning for season five.

Next week, GOTCHA!  Thankfully there is no next week!  Pour me a glass of champagne!  🙂