If you want to take a trip down a rambling rabbit hole of nonsensical hootenanny, than read Sonja Morgan‘s blog. Luckily I am here to do the dirty work for you. In the Tolstoyian length (for Bravo) diatribe about the Real Housewives Of New York trip to Atlantic City, her issues with alcohol and Heather Thomson, Sonja displaces blame, sheds light on how she promotes people, and raves about her fabulous lifestyle in Gstaad – where her smoky eye reigns supreme. Supreme disillusioned.
This is the delusional song that doesn’t end…
“Girls may want to have fun, but I guess Housewives just want to have drama,” Sonja begins. She goes on to “address” the situation that happened outside her home when she had two angry housewives and one shell-shocked Dorinda Medley hovering against the cold outside her vestibule while she explained to her interns the different uses for panties (rain water catchment if ever strange in the Alps with nothing but a smokey eye to keep you warm!).
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“What really happened was that I was taking a call from my sister from Nashville who was just telling me she was not be able to come to watch my daughter, because her best friend had just passed away,” Sonja describes. “My carefully laid plan blew up, and if I didn’t secure someone else trustworthy to watch my daughter, I couldn’t leave to Atlantic City overnight. I was trying to deal with all of that. I was focused on taking care of my family, and Heather went completely ballistic on me on the phone when she called to come up, and I told her I would meet her in the limo, and besides, Bethenny [Frankel] was late, and some of the others had not arrived yet!,” she complains.
Sonja accuses Heather of misrepresenting how disorganized the situation was and insisted she was not neglecting the ladies. “I can’t believe how many lies Heather was able to concoct in her head within a 15-minute period. They all had black town cars to get to the white stretch limo in front of my house. You can clearly see the black car in front of my house,” Sonja seethes.
“To be clear, the intern did not let Heather and the girls in the HEATED foyer,” Sonja insists. “The reason it was cold was because everyone was running in and out. I could feel the draft upstairs! Nor did they say Lady Morgan is not receiving guests. They never call me Lady Morgan out of the circle of #TeamSonja. That just sounds ludicrous.”
Heather “did call, and I told her I needed the time to finish the call with my sister, had no one to attend to the girls if they wanted to come up, and that I would be right down,” Sonja laments. “Interns are here to learn, they are not employees or domestics. I have to be with the interns when they observe or participate in any entertaining at home. I won’t tell you the disasters that can occur in a home like mine in 15 minutes. Just imagine French doors, pond in backyard, front doors to street, garbage disposals, elevators, electric gates, two poodles, the cat, and a myriad of other accidents waiting to happen without me with the interns, who are trying to help out and learn.” How dreadful… <Dwight Voice>
“For the record, Heather has NEVER carried me up the stairs to my bedroom,” Sonja states. “Yes, she has given me a ride home from downtown on her way up to Harlem and has come in for another drink for the road.”
According to Sonja, Heather bumrushed the velvet ropes of Sonja In The City and let herself in. “Then, incredibly rudely, she barges up the stairs screaming, we are leaving without you. So ask yourself, how did she get in? When they came into the foyer, a cup of tea was spilled all over the marble mosaic floor and on the antique table all while calling me a bitch. I had to lift the glass and wipe it clean so it didn’t get trapped and destroy the piece! I had to put the glass to the side to be sure the mahogany table dried completely before putting the glass back on (which is dangerous while out on the floor). She kept saying that I made her wait an hour and that I was holding everyone up, because I was packing, but that is simply not true!”
“As far as I’m concerned asking everyone to wait a few minutes because of a family emergency is not an egregious social error,” Sonja laments. “I wish that Heather hadn’t been such a drama queen and could be a little more gracious about the trip I had put together for us all. I would like her to be caring enough to say Sonja is taking care of some family matters and will be coming down soon.”
Sonja goes on to say that Heather was truly pissed that Bethenny was tardy for the party bus, but unfairly blamed the innocent Sonja whose party bus planning skills were honed in a yacht in the Maldives where she’s been summering with Elton since the womb.
“What really pissed [Heather] and the some other girls off was that Her Royal Skinny Bitch was late,” declares Sonja. “At first Bethenny was going to be an hour late and then texted to say she was coming sooner. I let Ramona know that. I understand people are late. What’s important is that we’re all together on the trip. That’s when they started to say they were leaving. That I could wait for Bethenny. Nice! The poor girl was apologizing profusely when she arrived.
“HRSB’s tardiness is what set off the bomb. Luann can vouch for that. Heather can’t take that she might not be HBIC anymore in this crew. (Head Bitch In Control) Trust me it’s not about me, it’s always about them. At least I don’t lie and comment on things I don’t understand about others’ businesses to be relevant among the girls.”
“I was so upset that I didn’t have one cocktail in the limo going to AC and kept checking my emails for my business and finances,” bemoans Sonja. “I was not talking at all on the trip to The Borgata other than trying to be nice and purposely sat on the end.”
The one bright light of the trip was Sonja’s relationship with Ramona Singer, but, of course, that was affected by the other girls as well! “I’m so happy I was able to have good quality time with Ramona in our suite. It’s hard for me to be there for her emotionally when I’m being attacked all the time, so any time we get to spend time away from the other girls is really special. Like when we were gambling and dancing on our own.”
“I hope that this trip helped Ramona to get through her first birthday without Mario. I’m glad that I was able to help in any way that I could by staying light, and not putting her under a microscope,” says Sonja. “I also decided to leave my issues with Ramona aside for her birthday. I really felt I deserved an apology for the way she treated me and spoke to me about my divorce when she hadn’t experienced it first-hand. But I will have to wait for that.”
Of course, Sonja’s issues with Heather weren’t the only ones she has to tackle. Adding approximately 32000 words to this tome, she explains how Bethenny is wrong and wrong and wrong, but nice for trying! Oh and Sonja does not have a drinking problem – her only problem with drink is that she has no tolerance! Or is that we have no tolerance for her?
“I know that Bethenny was trying to be supportive in the limo, but she was telling me that I couldn’t talk about my past experiences, like where I like to travel and spend my time. What she doesn’t understand, because we haven’t seen each other in private for quite a while, is that those experiences aren’t in the past,” Sonja quips. “I still vacation to Gstaad yearly in my updo and smoky eye. LOL! Even the Learning Annex asked me to come in and demonstrate. So someone is interested!” OH the LEARNING ANNEX – premiere scholarly establishment!
“I think what Bethenny is saying is that THESE girls don’t want to hear it. Don’t really care about my happiness as some of my other cliques enjoy talking about travels and people,” Sonja complains. “I’ve been going to these places for my entire life, and I love to share them and invite others along. Why shouldn’t I be able to talk about my life? Why can’t I talk about my past and wonderful relationships I have maintained?” Because they don’t exist.
“I’m glad that Bethenny cared enough open up to me about how she was feeling. I really do think that Bethenny was coming from a good place and that she is trying to help me, but I did feel a little attacked at dinner,” admits Sonja. “We all know that Bethenny can project her life experiences at times on others, so I’m glad that the two of us were able to talk and clear the air.
According to Sonja, Bethenny also misinterpreted her during their heart-t0-heart “I make it clear to Bethenny in the hotel room that I have closure with the ex-husband, it’s now the financial strife from the judgment I’m paying that kills me in my tracks. I would never wish that any of the girls to lose a lawsuit like that. But that is a whole ‘nother blog.”
“Bethenny was very intuitive when she said I should talk to someone, because since my sister moved away, I’ve been doing exactly that, because these girls do not give me the emotional support I need,” laments Sonja. “In fact, their constant badgering makes it worse not better. Everyone should be able to relax and be themselves and talk about their plans and life experiences in a healthy back-and-forth banter when they’re with their friends. I don’t feel like I’m afforded that respect with these friends.”
“The other women want to keep me in a nice little labeled box because of their own insecurities. They would not feel the need to constantly be talking about me unless they were uncomfortable with where they themselves are going. I have seen this script in my life over and over,” Sonja says. “People with real concerns don’t share them with the world. They are protective and keep it between the friend and themselves. In private. They don’t want me to do well and get out of this mess of a divorce and lawsuit resulting in a $7 million dollar judgment. They are just trying to level the playing field by bringing me down, but nobody can bring me down!”
All in all Sonja says what she learned from this trip is to stop partying with the ladies. <SIDE EYE> “After this, I know that I shouldn’t drink with these women. You will see I refrain from partying in Turks and Caicos and stick to wine. One has to be in a good place mentally, with cool friends, and with good booze (or beer) to survive an evening of hard partying like these girls do.”
See to Sonja it’s the other ladies who drink too much! They all started drinking in the limo on the way over, starting before 12pm for four hours. I really don’t know how their livers do it! After one hard drink, I’m buzzed. After two, I’m bombed! After three, I’m yours! I’m a cheap date as they say.”
“Sometimes when you’re having a rough time, you need to be able to let loose, and that’s what I was trying to do in Atlantic City. What happens in Atlantic City stays in Atlantic City, they say. I should have known better than to let my walls down around them. But at least now I’ve learned my lesson!” announces Sonja. “No one can tell me when I should stop my hard-parting ways and settle down except me. Life is all about moving on and moving upward. I wear that saying on my pinky ring every day, and it serves me well. That and my abundance candle. LOL.”
Finally, at the end Sonja admits that yes – her life is a mess right now, but she’s trying to get it together. Sort of.
“Bethenny was right saying that divorce is like a death. Losing your best friend, lover, and father to your daughter is not something that I would wish upon anyone (as we saw in Morocco with the psychic who said Mario was cheating), and it’s something that takes a long time to adjust to,” Sonja accepts. “I don’t want to enter into another relationship until I feel that I can contribute as an equal partner emotionally and can stand on my own two feet financially. I just didn’t feel that I could do that a year ago. Hence, the younger men.”
“Between being a mother, running my businesses, starting new businesses, managing my reorganization, and dealing with my legal situation, I don’t have much left to give to another person. But as I’ve said in the past, life moves in a circle, and I’ve had my low times, and now I’m headed back up to a high point again,” Sonja concludes. “I’m very lucky, because I have many circles of supportive, non-judgmental friends that like me for being me. I have a very strong family base and spiritual beliefs. God has been there for me. But I’m just taking life one day at a time like everybody else!”
Well if you managed to make any sense of all that I commend you. Now I need to lie down – I’ll be in Gstaad where I’m known for my undos and smokey eye.
TELL US – WILL SONJA EVER FACE REALITY?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]