Time for another installment of Famously Single and I know you guys can’t wait. Last week, we saw the flirtation between Aubrey O’Day and Pauly D turn into action (they argued/made out) and flirtation between Brandi Glanville and Calum Best crash and burn (they argued/she cried herself to sleep).
The next morning, Calum tries to redeem himself from being a complete prick by getting Brandi flowers for her birthday. Jessica White tells Brandi that if she likes him, she will just have to put up with him acting jealous. Brilliant advice from another single who has racked up the frequent failure miles when it comes to relationships.
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Brandi sits down with Dr. Darcy Sterling to discuss why she is even flirting with Calum in the first place. Brandi thinks he’s “safe” because he is going back to London and he’s also sort of a bad boy but doesn’t want to be a bad boy. What a confusing/attractive quality! She tells Dr. Darcy about what happened the night before and how jealous Calum got. Dr. Darcy seems unconcerned. Brandi admits that she likes Calum. She says that they have a chemistry, which I’m guessing is more convenience than actual connection.
Somaya Reece is up for her first one-on-one with Dr. Darcy and I’m happy to learn more about her
because I literally know nothing about her. Somaya dates men and women without discriminating but doesn’t need the label of being bisexual – love is love to her. Unfortunately, her first boyfriend set the tone of every relationship she’s had with men and it’s not pretty – he was physically abusive and jealous. It’s turned her off from men in general so she has been unable to form a meaningful relationship with a guy. Somaya admits she has forgiven him and been able to move on to some degree but feels more comfortable with women because of this.
There’s nothing funny to say here – domestic abuse is no laughing matter and I feel for Somaya. I also think this sheds some real light on her relationship issues, as opposed to the excuse of being famous to explain why she is single. This was a real, vulnerable moment for Somaya and it was refreshing.
The Singletons head out to celebrate Brandi’s birthday and Brandi uses it as an opportunity to continue drunkenly flirting with Calum. It works and he asks her out on a date because even though they just met, they should take a risk and go out. Ummm yeah, that’s how dating works, Calum. He clearly has some insecurity issues since he worries that she thinks he’s a “side dude” to her and he is no one’s “side dude”. No one puts side dude in the corner.
Group therapy starts and Dr. Darcy has a trick up her sleeve – she has a new dating exercise for the group that she claims is about letting go of control. Each cast mate will be paired up with a member of the opposite sex in the house, who will tell them how to dress, do their hair, and then provide them with what to say on their date via a secret earbud. We have all seen this trick before on pretty much every dating show that has ever existed in the last decade but whatever, Dr. Darcy thinks she’s a genius. Where are the dating coaches for this one? Did they see what they are working with and quit already?
Josh Murray, who is pretty useless on the show, has more pressing questions about this challenge, like, will he be going on a date with someone he is attracted to? I’m not sure which Josh I dislike more – the one who says nothing or the one who contributes nothing when he does finally open his mouth.
It’s ladies choice when it comes to this exercise. Somaya picks Pauly, Brandi picks Josh, Aubrey picks Willis McGahee, and Jessica is stuck with Calum.
The guys go about
controlling suggesting what the women should wear and the theme is “Tone It Down”. As in, no cheetah-print for Brandi, no pancake makeup for Aubrey, and no boobs out for Jessica. The women are understandably lost but play along.
Let the dates begin! Brandi’s goal is to get Josh to loosen up a little bit so naturally, she starts feeding him lines to ask his date about whether or not she likes threesomes (she does not). Josh is bright red and literally squirming in his seat.
Calum is dressed up like a waiter and already blowing it by awkwardly revealing too much when his date asks him about his drinking habits. Aubrey isn’t faring much better since her date has a knuckle tattoo that says “F**k Fame” and orders a lychee martini. Somaya is hooked up with another woman, who also feels like she doesn’t need a label on who she wants to date and it’s the only coupling that is going really well. She doesn’t seem to need much help from Pauly at all. Back at Josh’s table, Brandi is busy making him say the most ridiculous things that would turn off any girl, just to show him that he can say the wrong thing and his date won’t go running. She doesn’t, because she is on camera and likely realizes that this is all one big joke.
Round 2 and the Singletons switch places. Pauly D’s date has no idea who he is, which is hilarious but surprising, considering she was a club promoter for years. Brandi’s date is a dead ringer for that guy Sawyer on Lost and Josh prompts her to talk about threesomes as well, probably as a fun payback. Willis’ poor date almost loses her composure but recovers quickly after hearing about his 8 kids. Jessica is in full on weirdo-mode and decides to take a deck of tarot cards out of her pocket and give her date a reading that he didn’t ask for.
The Singleton’s go back to the house and Aubrey is in full jealousy mode, even though Pauly didn’t really connect with his date at all. She’s angrily stirring the largest smoothie I have ever seen and isn’t happy that Pauly said his date looked like the bootleg version of her.
More importantly, the group is starting to get frustrated with Josh, since he doesn’t seem to be as ready to settle down as he says he is. Gee, I wonder why he might be on the show (sarcasm)? I cannot imagine what ulterior motive he might have if he isn’t there to fix his dating life (heavy sarcasm). Gosh, what could it be (extra heavy sarcasm)? I guess we have an unsolved mystery we have on our hands (thickest sarcasm possible).
Back in group with Dr. Darcy and finally, dating coaches Robert and Laurel make an appearance. I guess they didn’t quit (yet). They go around in a circle and discuss how everyone’s date went and the dating coaches don’t really have anything useful to add. I think the coaches recognize this group is a lost cause and like the cast, they just want to collect their paycheck and go home.
TELL US – WHICH OF THE SINGLES GAVE THE BEST DATING ADVICE?
Photo Credit: E!