It’s Day 30 on Celebrity Big Brother – nearly there! – and Big Brother is up to his normal tricks of causing issues galore.
Jedward are in the bath together. One is covering the other’s “mid-section” in bubbles. Odd. Kim Woodburn is in the diary room, slating – guess who?! – yup, that’s it, Nicola McLean. And James Cosmo. And the “gang.” #deluded When Jedward saw their argument on screen the night before, they did look suitably awkward. Kim, saw nothing wrong. Scary.
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John has run out of underwear so he has resorted to wearing one of Bianca Gascoigne’s thongs. He does look concerned when the back disappears. The housemates are outside, singing Edward‘s praises. I have to admit, they are growing on me, especially Edward. I think “off-duty” they’d be great.
It’s task time. The housemates have to create TV shows.
Jedward and Bianca are up first, with a home shopping channel. They have to sell a mystery can of food. Unfortunately, it appears the mystery can is dog food. Even more unfortunate, Edward, followed by Bianca and John, eats a chunk. The remaining housemates are in the living area, watching the show. I say watching, but Nicola spends most of it heaving. Funny.
Next product they have to sell is painless wax strips. They decide to demonstrate them on John’s stomach. Bless him. He didn’t flinch but I don’t envy him.
Final product is a health smoothie. It consists of mushroom soup, fish sauce, cottage cheese, spinach, and a fermented egg. John tries to gargle with it and nearly chokes. He literally turns pale and his eyes start watering. Coleen Nolan starts retching in the other room, and Edward and Bianca are spitting it out in the buckets. They did fantastically.
Just as I’m getting to like them, we’re shown the boys in the diary room, praising themselves and how they are the only people that would have been able to do the task. So close and yet so far.
Next up is a quiz show, ‘Who Is It?’ Housemates will hear a clip and have to decide who is being discussed. The housemate with the most correct answers at the end will win a special prize.
They last all of two questions when Nicola and Kim start bickering again, without actually being involved in either question or answer. Jedward joke that James C flirts with Coleen, and they start getting a bit over excited about it, when Nicola warns them that that could be a bit offensive when someone’s married. They straightaway stop and apologize (and it wasn’t said or I believe meant negatively), but Kim jumps straight on Nicola and kicks it off.
Things calm down again, then we cut to James C in the diary room, talking about the vitriol of Kim. Goes down like a bag of sick. Or the smoothie from before.
Kim starts on James, but Nicola asks if she’s talking to her (she is stood next to James C so she may have genuinely been unsure). Kim makes a comment about Nicola flashing her boobs (she was a glamor model), and Coleen quietly says that’s not called for. Kim then starts on her, and asks if she’d heard what Nicola had said. She says, “Yes, she said you’re vile, and I agree.” That cut Kim right off. Nicola then tells her that everyone actually agrees except Jedward (Edward pulls out a peace out sign at the cue amusingly) and then asks if they got the answer right. Funny.
Jedward win the game and the world breathes a sigh of relief that it’s over. I did anyway. My fear of confrontation has really taken a hammering this season.
Coleen and James are in the garden. Colleen is venting. She understands why the public may think she’s two faced about Jedward, she has said it all to their faces as well, but she holds her hand up to being totally two faced with Kim and that she doesn’t even want to speak to her ever again.
The whole house is suffering the aftermath of the Kim argument. Bianca advises Nicola to stop feeding her and not get involved. Jedward are saying that when they sit with them, or listen when they’re talking about her, doesn’t mean they agree. Slightly naughty, boys, you were slating her yesterday. Kim is saying that if she were James C’s wife or Coleen‘s husband, she would not be happy about the amount of time they have spent together. Nasty. The problem with Kim is, she loses any sort of validity to her argument by the content of what she says.
Jedward are in the diary room saying that James C should apologize to Kim. And that all the housemates should apologize to Jedward for how they’ve been with them. Massive turnaround here from yesterday. I wish we could have an alcohol level sign above their heads to see if there’s any sort of pattern from sobriety to opinion.
For the final part of the TV show task, James C is narrating a bedtime story. He has chosen housemates to play certain characters – Nicola has been chosen to play Prince Charming; Jedward the two headed troll, Coleen as the Fairy Godmother, Bianca as the princess, and Kim as the devious wizard.
We get a loose fairy-tale, that involves Kim emptying a nasty-smelling porridge on Bianca’s head and a story line that’s based on the general consensus of opinion of housemates on each other. And James C reading a story imitating Coleen’s accent, turning a fairy-tale into a slightly dark sounding horror story. He definitely has a career ahead of him.
And that’s it, we’re ready for the finale. Who wins, we decide, and I can’t call it…
Photo Credit: Channel 5
AUTHOR – NICKI M.