Southern Charm Recap: Bro Cold

Finally Southern Charm has tapped into some drama that has nothing to do with a hot-tempered twenty-something and an aging politician who likes the scent of cocaine a woman…well, many women! After last week’s episode, where Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel finally slightly buried the hatchet, the once feuding duo is leaving the relationship madness for their cast mates…for the most part, at least. Naomie Olindo and Craig Conover are still struggling their way through couple’s therapy, and Shep Rose has become an unwanted equilateral corner in a love triangle with Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner.

Cam calls Chelsea in hopes of a happy hour to fill her time while her husband is on call. Unfortunately, Chelsea is meeting Kathryn at a shop downtown to help finalize the wardrobe for her upcoming photo shoot with daughter Kensie. When offered an invitation, Cameran jumps at the chance–either she really hates being home alone, or she’s slowly warming up to the idea of hanging with Kathryn. What would Patricia say about this turn of events?


Did I miss where T0Rav got a bunch of dental work done and then met J.D. for lunch? He’s slurring and drooling his way through cocktails and a conversation with J.D. about his newly calm co-parenting status with Kathryn and his flirty pseudo courtship of Landon Clements. Speaking of, Landon is looking at property with her father for an upcoming real estate development. She chatters about her web site, and seems incredibly nervous when it comes to proving herself to her dad. She recognizes that what her father does has a tangible end product, but Roam will too as soon as she finds an alternate name. At the site, Landon’s dad offers her the position of project manager with the potential to make beau coups of dough. Landon looks like a deer in headlights. If she wanted someone to provide a cushy lifestyle for her, she’d just work marry T-Rav. Did I somehow miss his proposal? Although she knows it disappoints and confuses her dad, Landon feels compelled to explain that she’s hellbent on making Roam happen. But not Roam. You know, Roam with a new name. It’s the one thing in her adult life she’s done completely independently, give or take the eight interns she has writing content and taking photographs.


Cameran pops in on Shep before noon. She’s shocked to see that he’s not only clean and dressed, he’s reading. For pleasure! Cameran cozies up to the voodoo doll (for a second at least), and lectures Shep on his lifestyle. If he actually moves to the beach, will he be sad about giving up the downtown party scene? She believes Shep still needs to pursue Chelsea. Sure, she’s kinda sorta seeing Austen, but Cameran is convinced she’d kick Austin to the curb at a declaration of love like from Shep. Shep isn’t so sure. Cameran thinks she and Shep are adverse to vulnerability. She isn’t able to completely open herself up to the idea of having a baby, and Shep has a hard time admitting he has a crush. Shep disagrees. He isn’t afraid of getting hurt…he’s fearful of hurting someone else. Shep would welcome heartbreak. It would mean he is able to feel something other than his constant state of numbness. That’s really sad.


Chelsea meets Kathryn at a downtown boutique to channel her inner J. Crew bitch, which, according to Kathryn, is a perfect mix of party girl and modern mom. Katheryn recognizes that there is nothing J. Crew about her. When Cameran arrives, Kathryn finds it humorous that the girl who was so against having coffee with her is now wanting to share a shopping spree. Whatever. Cameran pours a glass of wine and waits for Katheryn to emerge from the dressing room, as Chelsea whispers to her that perhaps they shouldn’t indulge in front of a recovering alcoholic. Cam is going to do what she does, and no acquaintance just out of rehab is going to stop her. She compliments Kathryn on her legs and her choice in a cute top, and Kathryn forgets how annoyed she was by the idea of Cameran crashing her modeling prelude. Cameran, impressed at their ability to get along for five minutes, then announces her plans for birthday trip to Key West. Is Katheryn up to joining the group? Beaming, Katheryn accepts the invitation, gushing that she and T-Rav are finally at a place where they can hang out together as friends. When asked whether Kathryn would be okay traveling with Landon, Cameran is greeted with a lukewarm, “meh, sure.” Look out, Key West! Hurricane Kathryn is in the forecast!


Austen stops by Chelsea‘s salon, and he nervously invites her to meet his parents over cocktails. He tells her that he is going to have a guys’ night with Shep with Whitney Sudler-Smith. Chelsea hesitantly reveals that the night before at Commodore Club, Shep tried multiple times to kiss her…a ballsy move given that she was out with Austen. She further reveals that Shep chastised her fling with Austen as being silly because Austen was always with Landon and has much more chemistry with her. Likewise, Shep and Chelsea share a lot more heat than she does with Austen, right? Chelsea wonders if she needs to be worried about Austen’s connection with Landon, but he is too livid to respond. He can’t believe that Shep is trying to sabotage his blooming relationship with Chelsea…oh wait, yes he can believe it. His friend is turning into quite the asshole.

boys night out southern charm

That evening, Austen meets Craig Conover for drinks before the rest of the bro patrol arrives. He fills in Craig on Chelsea‘s news and bristles with Shep and Whitney join them for drinks. When Austen doesn’t join Shep in locker room talk, Shep teases Austen for taking the moral high ground now that he’s in an itty bitty relationship. Austen can’t keep his anger bottled any longer. Why is Shep playing both sides? When Austen accuses Shep of trying to hook up with the girl that he likes, Shep counters he was just testing Chelsea to make sure she really likes Austen. You’re welcome, bro! Shep then changes his tune when Austen won’t call Chelsea his girlfriend. Why does Austen care who Chelsea makes out with if he’s not willing to claim her? I’m so confused? What decade is this? Going back and forth about the relevance of Austen and Chelsea defining their relationship as Shep makes entitled, douchey statements is giving me a headache, but Whitney is watching smugly like he’s bet on a winning match at Wimbeldon. His head just keeps going back and forth as two grown men fight over a girl that isn’t going to end up with either of them.

Craig drunkenly antagonizes Austen about how he needs to stand up to Shep. Whitney is wary of Craig’s pot stirring while giving the side eye to Austen, who he claims is a diva. Shep jumps into Craig’s lap at Republic just as Craig complains (again) that Shep tries to screw everyone’s girlfriends. Projecting much, Craig? Austen tells a random friend that he’s angrier at the situation because Shep has made comments to him about not making enough money to attract Chelsea. In fact, Shep once joked that Chelsea is slumming it to enjoy a short lived blue collar fantasy. Random friend relays this information to Shep becomes irate. He has never said such a thing! In the background, Craig just keeps reminding anyone who will listen that Shep likes attempting to bag his friends’ ladies. Austen and Shep erupt in a shouting match

Kathryn is ready for her mother-daughter photo shoot, and Chelsea is in attendance to help with the glamorous game of dress-up. Thomas arrives with Kensie to watch his daughter ham it up for the photographer. Kathryn is beyond grateful to T-Rav for allowing her this day with her daughter, and the duo takes adorable pictures together while Thomas beams from the sidelines. That is one precious little girl. When it’s time to call it a day, Kensie doesn’t want to leave her mother. The little girl screams and cries while trying to get in Kathryn’s car, and her tantrum gets bigger as Thomas puts her in his vehicle. He calmly has a handle on the situation while Kathryn dissolves into sobs. She hiccups to Chelsea about how hard it is to watch her daughter in anguish, and how she knows she helped create the situation in which they find themselves. It’s actually really sincere and heart breaking.

Cameran drops by Chelsea‘s house to dish on her upcoming birthday getaway, but the conversation quickly changes to Shep‘s behavior at the Commodore. Cam plays clueless about why he would act in such a way until Chelsea casually drops that “Cam’s been in his ear about pursuing” her. Well, maybe she has been, Cameran admits. Selfishly she wants her two best friends to be together. Chelsea calls out Shep for being an entitled man-child who has no consequences and always gets his way, regardless of who he steps on in the process. Is that really who Cameran has picked as her life partner? Cameran seems somewhat swayed by Chelsea’s argument, but she still seems so have a scheme in mind.


Naomie and Craig (who appears to be incredibly hungover) are logging in yet another therapy session. He feels put down by Naomie, but Naomie responds that he’s far too sensitive. She is sick of watching him sleep for sixteen hours, but she has no clue how much off shore trading he’s doing at 5 AM. He doesn’t have a traditional schedule, so he can do what he pleases. When Naomie gets upset with her idea that Craig thinks he’s perfect and above criticism, Craig gets a warning from the therapist about his yelling. These crazy kids! I think they’re going to make it!

After her beer with Chelsea, Cameran heads to Shem Creek Bar & Grill for beers with Shep so she can urge him to quit drinking and grow up. He reminds her that she was the main cheerleader behind a Shep/Chelsea hook-up, and she agrees…but only if he can approach it in a mature way. He shouldn’t pull her aside for a middle school make-out session, he should pursue her like a gentleman and admit his feelings. Shep scoffs. He has has no feelings for Chelsea. Cameran isn’t buying it and asserts his attitude is clearly one of jealousy. Ha! Shep doesn’t get jealous, and he certainly doesn’t waste his time a girl who has such little taste in guys that she’d choose lowly Austen over him. Envious? Hell, damn no!


Photo Credit: Bravo TV/Southern Charm