The Honest Tea heats up

This episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas had everything, a proposal, women (and men) behaving badly and of course, a charity event. Perhaps what’s most refreshing about Dallas is that all the women play ball. This episode could potentially go down as a defining moment in this show’s run. It channeled “The Dinner Party from Hell” on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and even rivaled some moments from some of The Real Housewives of New York City trips to remember. No one held back when they sat down for tea for what seemed like nine and one-half hours. Here we go…

The show opens with a charity event. It’s the Essential Energy Fall Reception and guess who’s the keynote speaker? LeeAnne Locken, naturally. D’Andra Simmons and Kameron Westcott come to show their support. LeeAnne’s speech covers overcoming obstacles and the need to belong. Each week we learn a little more about D’Andra. This week, through her correlation to LeeAnne’s story, we hear that she too suffered from abandonment issues coming from a broken home. Mama Dee left her father and it destroyed his life. On a positive note, we’re treated to a fantastic vintage picture with Dee having the biggest hairdo in Texas.

Later, LeeAnne’s friend Jay comes over post-speech and immediately drops Cary Deuber’s name, but only the first letter [more on that later]. Jay clearly loves the gossip, telling LeeAnne that Mark Deuber hates him, and if he were to go to Cary, he’d look like a monster. D’Andra says LeeAnne is losing credibility trash talking Cary and calls it out. Even Kameron agrees that it has to stop. With that, the introduction of Honest Tea is made. D’Andra spells it out– it’s going to be a group therapy session. After a balloon poking metaphor, LeeAnne predicts an explosion.

Across town, Brandi Redmond is busy with her daughters. She admits to barely attending any charity events this season. (This makes us worried for her stance in Dallas society). Her daughters are a handful and take up her time. They have about as much of an interest in having a baby brother as Brandi does in the Dallas social scene.

Cary Deuber feels a lack of support coming from her husband Mark Deuber

Cary preps for a dinner and bickers with her husband Mark. She’s not afraid to paint him as the big baby helpless husband that he is. Cary explains that he had a mental breakdown when she got pregnant with Zuri, and he bought himself a Porsche because he felt he was no longer a priority. Ugh.

Kameron and Court Westcott arrive for a casual dinner. However, they have to put up with tantrums over food, whining and sulking, and that was just from Mark. Seriously! Even Court gave one of his famous eye rolls at the table. Meanwhile, Kameron still can’t get over Brandi’s exclusionary gift exchange and looks forward to the Honest Tea.

LeeAnne Locken and Rich after the proposal

It’s date night at the ol’ Texas State Fair with LeeAnne and Rich. The former carny kid kicks butt at the midway games. Rich seems like a real stable force in LeeAnne’s life. They throw darts at some shiny balloons with one containing a special prize. LeeAnne finally gets her proposal in a full circle moment at the fair. Even a fifty-five- foot man statue by the name of “Big Tex” creepily announced Rich’s love for her. Beyond that, it was a really sweet moment and the two look very happy.

The day of Honest Tea has arrived.  A flurry of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills theme music plays. Does that mean that this is supposed to be a FANCY event? For D’Andra it is. Her maid Fanny is back, prepping the food, fluffing pillows and earning her paycheck. There is a full-service staff, complete with a Bartender making “Sinners and Saints” cocktails.

LeeAnne doesn’t plan to wear her engagement ring to the tea, figuring everyone will ask her when the date is, and she just wants to enjoy the moment. [You can’t blame her; only half of the ladies would really be happy for her].

Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman compliment one another on their outfits for the Honest Tea

At Cary’s house, Brandi and Stephanie Hollman prep for the long afternoon with a glass of champagne. Stephanie is a little bitter that she received a last-minute phone call, instead of a real invitation. Brandi jokes that she wore pink so Kameron would like her. Not wasting a chance to stir the pot, Cary says, “She doesn’t think she has anything in common with you”. Really, Cary? Instead of ending it there, she reminds them that they don’t really live in Dallas, unlike D’Andra and Kameron who take those zip codes seriously. Brandi finds it all pathetic and clearly states that she has no desire to be around pretentious women.

At the tea, LeeAnne is walking all around D’Andra’s house sipping a cocktail; in, out, up and down the stairs. She’s ready to talk to Brandi. The two haven’t been in touch since Brandi returned from Memphis. It seems all the ladies plan to drink a lot, except D’Andra who is taking this seriously. She makes it her mission to create a safe environment for the ladies to talk. Kameron enters and brings another lesson in etiquette with her. Here are some notes for you, should you be invited to a tea party that only serves liquor:

  1. One must wear a tea length skirt
    1. A little below the knee
  2. One must wear a beautiful hat
  3. One’s blouse must cover your “hooters”
  4. Do not arrive in a white limo
  5. One shall not swear

The “other side” being comprised of Stephanie, Brandi and Cary arrive and Kameron is immediately offended by Brandi’s disrespect for the “rules”. The rule breaker asked Kameron to step aside for a moment to talk and to hand her a pink gift bag which includes Jack Daniels. This was the same gift she gave Cary and Stephanie minus the invitation to Memphis. So the feud is over, right? Nope. Kameron thanks Brandi but once again feels awkward because this exchange took place in front of the others who didn’t get one. For once, Cary says she’s not getting in the middle. [Insert hand-clapping emoji] Brandi explains that she’s apologized numerous times, to which Kameron doesn’t recall. Brandi gets irritated and reminds her it was when she gave Steph and Cary the “f******* gifts”. Kameron is appalled at the language, passive-aggressively looking down on the redhead, “They were f’ing gifts”? D’Andra interjects the ridiculousness. In her interview, Brandi laughs that Kameron needs to get laid.

D'Andra mediates the Honest Tea with her gavel

The Dallas Social Club Meeting to Air Grievances is in session. It is complete with a bedazzled gavel, bell and handwritten questions from the housewives. Honesty is encouraged. What could go wrong?

Question #1: Brandi, why is LeeAnne not allowed at your house anymore? Answer: LeeAnne says she never knew that detail until Kameron told her. Brandi does not want to discuss it in the group but it’s about her potty mouth. Also, it didn’t help that LeeAnne commented on Brandi’s mothering. In the most intense, over annunciated tone, LeeAnne issues an apology. Is this feud over? Nope. Kameron points out that Brandi threw LeeAnne under the bus by not inviting her on that damn Memphis trip. Brandi admits that LeeAnne has been a good friend, but Stephanie has been her best friend for ten-plus years so…to cover herself she says, “I would have had all of you there”. The Pink Princess isn’t buying it, shouting, “That’s not true!” and reminds Brandi she gave out the gifts. Brandi yells that she was taking FRIENDS to see her grandparents and Kameron didn’t give her the chance to explain herself. Brandi felt that Kameron embarrassed her and Kameron felt Brandi embarrassed HER. Then they got into the timeline of events. Brandi believes she apologized to Kameron for not having a gift for her before the exchange, but it was actually during the handoff/after. Kameron, still taking this “situation” way too seriously, thought Brandi was trying to “be a mean girl”. (Kameron, you need to learn to take a joke) Brandi calls her a bitch and storms off, only to be literally pushed right back into it by LeeAnne. Kameron now feels it’s a complete misunderstanding and she’d consider a friendship with Brandi. Resolution: Maybe

Question #2: Brandi, why do you say you like LeeAnne when you say you don’t? [Clearly, Cary was caught with this question. She left her name off it for a reason and claims she wrote it wrong.] Answer: Brandi attended a “dog wash” (?) and Jared, a friend of LeeAnnes approached Brandi, telling her that LeeAnne is not really her friend and is only using her. Brandi said she cried over it but never asked LeeAnne about it. LeeAnne writes it off as gossip, but Cary makes it a point to say that no one’s ever said anything to her like that about her friends. Apparently, Jared had more to say – calling Mark “100% Gay”. LeeAnne denies the information is coming from her, while Cary, in her interview references that L.eeAnne runs in gossip circles. Resolution: Not happening

Question #3: Illegible

Question #4: Illegible

Question #5: Brandi asks LeeAnne if she had her face “threaded by a vagina doctor” (??) Answer: No, but she is getting a boob job.  Why did Brandi think she was going to a “vagina doctor” you ask? Insert Cary who says the doc is an OBGYN. LeeAnne clarifies that he’s triple board certified but Cary maintains that he is not a plastic surgeon that he’s only certified in OBGYN, fact. LeeAnne is now seeing red with Little Miss Bitch Cary’s insinuations. With air quotes, she shades the “Registered Nurse” letting her know that she’s the one who’s highly intelligent. LeeAnne point blank tells Cary she thinks she acts smarter than her, which Cary immediately denies, not to mention a “condescending *%&[email protected]“. WOW. Cary gets up, questioning LeeAnne’s anger management classes. Resolution: Not even close

Cary Deuber feels awkward with LeeAnne Locken sobbing on her arm

Question #6: D’Andra asks Stephanie why she didn’t throw LeeAnne out of her Halloween party. Answer: Steph insists she didn’t want to give her what she wanted and asks LeeAnne why she would choose to fight a battle that wasn’t hers. LeeAnne says it’s all because she listened to Brandi cry. In a turn of events, LeeAnne starts to break down retelling The LeeAnne Locken Story, childhood, rejection, carnival games D’Andra just can’t with this. She calls BS immediately. Brandi runs over to embrace her on- again off- again friend. Through the tears, LeeAnne maintains that she doesn’t want to hurt anybody, not even Cary if she calls her the C word. It’s all very strange. Stephanie can’t stop drinking while watching LeeAnne tear up on Cary’s arm. Brandi has a moment where she’s touched that LeeAnne cared that she wasn’t invited to Memphis. Resolution: TBD at the reunion

Question #7: What is your fave vacation spot? Answer: Mexico Resolution: Yes, all are invited

NEXT: LeeAnne goes into surgery with the help of Brandi. LeeAnne talks CRAZY about losing it one day. Yikes. And they’re off to Mexico for more madness!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? Was the Honest Tea a good or bad idea?

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Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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