Y’all this Dallas trip is beyond bonkers. If these ladies despise one another so much, why are they vacationing together? I have to say D’Andra Simmons is a breath of fresh air on this season of Real Housewives of Dallas, and more power to someone who can tame LeeAnne Locken’s special brand of cray. Stephanie Hollman and Brandi Redmond are definitely better together (that bubble bath!), and Kameron Westcott’s voice is about to throw me over the edge. Without a doubt, the Dallas franchise has grown on me, and I think I could watch it year-round. That said, there seems to be some selective memory (or completely altered memory) when it comes to these girls and their plastic surgeons (“he’s an OBGYN”).

Addressing the drama that went down at dinner in Mexico on this week’s episode, Cary Deuber insists she never, ever, ever implied that Brandi’s mommy makeover doctor had someone die on his operating table. Brandi seems insistent that it was said, and it was sad to see the close friends go head to head. Can we just get the girls some more tequila please?

In her weekly blog, Cary dives into her love of yoga and disdain for LeeAnne, blaming LeeAnne’s vendetta against her for twisting Brandi’s memory. She begins, “Welcome back, friends! You’ve seen me do a lot of yoga. From the beach to the street, I find fun places to practice my moves that keep my core tight and my spirit-centered. Usually, it’s pretty high energy athletic stuff, but there’s so much more to it. Yoga is like my church. It is my personal time to be a calmer, better person. I get a chance to meditate and bring positive energy to my life and in turn to the lives of others. There’s such an awesome juxtaposition this week. I’m meditating and calming myself in solitary yoga practice on the beach while Two-Face is back at it again with her favorite past time: bad-mouthing me, threatening to strangle me (no visible anesthesia in sight this time), and then saying she wants help. Pattern much?”

Acknowledging her nastiness about Rich, Cary seems somewhat apologetic for what she said and owns her pettiness. She states, “So I did two bad things this week…I made a comment about a little wiener, and I gave a friend medical advice. Let’s start with the small stuff first, the tiny pee-pee comment. It’s really never a good or positive thing to spread gossip, and that’s exactly what I did on the beach when I was feeling petty. Point blank, I shouldn’t have said anything about Rich. As my husband’s anatomy was so popular with everyone last week, thanks to Two-Face, I broke and mentioned her nice guy negatively, ignoring my own advice, and I feel terrible. Even the limited exposure that I have to Two-Face must be too much because I got down in the dirt with her and made a rude comment about her fiancé. To quote Zuri, ‘It’s disgustin’!’ I really want to be better than that.

She admits, “I dug in the dirt and went low, and for that, I’m sorry. I feel terrible that I spread gossip after all that I’ve been through, and I am still ashamed of my behavior. I know I did it to hit her where it really hurts…the girl group gossip. No excuses. No meds, anesthesia, alcohol, or worms should be blamed for a classic case of petty.”

Discussing what should have been a lovely dinner in a cool cave, Cary wonders how LeeAnne was able to quickly turn the conversation away from her messiness. Cary writes, “But onto the serious thing, I’m really losing sleep over: the doctor situation. I’m shocked…out of nowhere, I was hit with this doctor thing from Brandi at the exact moment when I was trying to talk to Two-Face about threatening my life. I was so confused and blindsided. Someone threatened to strangle me, and it immediately got turned back on to me? It’s now my fault? Classic Two-Face deflection. Get Brandi Redmond to fight with me so that you don’t have to deal with your bad behavior.”

Defending her denial of the statement, Cary asserts, “I have been a nurse for almost 20 years, so I’m fully aware of the serious truths about medicine. Complications can happen after surgical procedures, including after cosmetic procedures. Nobody wants this to happen, but it can. Maybe a procedure was too long or complex, maybe a horrible event just happened through no fault. No matter what, this is a serious reality for anyone contemplating surgery. I always tell people to research their doctors thoroughly as well as potential complications, so I can only imagine that this is why she came to me.”

Continuing, Cary recalls, “Brandi called me about two years ago to ask for medical advice. I didn’t seek her out; she came to me. Why does a non-medical person call a medical friend for medical advice? Answer: they want honest truthful advice from a trusted friend, especially if that friend is in the medical field. Besides being a registered nurse, I am first and foremost a patient advocate. So from a conversation we had almost two years ago, her takeaway was something so sinister and negative. I’m so sorry; that was not my intention. I NEVER said what she insists she heard. I don’t recall everything we talked about two years ago, but I know that I never said that — period. I would have hoped that if she truly felt that way, she would have called me back or mentioned it in the last two years. We are friends after all, so I felt very betrayed. If something I said bothered my friend, I’d definitely want them to reach out to me. I haven’t had this kind of issue with a friend like Brandi before, and she knows me well enough to speak up. But what a convenient fit for Two-Face’s plan! I think this plot came from her.”

Clearly Cary isn’t upset with Brandi for what she perceives is an incorrect perception of the conversation. She concedes, “Time has a way of twisting memories and facts into something from a completely different reality, and so does Two-Face. I have been losing sleep over this; I’ve watched the cave dinner scene over and over, and I can’t stop seeing how it looks like Two-Face is channeling this story. I can almost see her lips moving and leading as Brandi is trying to remember what happened. It looks to me like she is putting words in Brandi’s mouth and even correcting her when Brandi doesn’t get the story exactly right. So, how is this supposed to go? I tried to voice my concern face-to-face about one of the several threats and then got turned-on instead? Just like a perfectly planned manipulation with the smuggest smile from Two-Face at the end!”

Concluding, Cary jokes, “You know what I’m learning from this group? You don’t want my help. You’re looking to trap me with twisted lies. The Cary Advice Line is officially closed for business. I’m going to need a lot of yoga mat time this week! NAMASTE”

I’d call out Cary for name calling LeeAnne in her blog if LeeAnne hadn’t dressed as Two-Face Stephanie for Halloween!


[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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