Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: Throwing Down In Brandi Land

The Real Housewives of Dallas chugs along into another over the top episode. The Mexico trip has ended kind of abruptly and we’re back in Dallas. This episode had all the ingredients of a classic real housewives disaster. They’re deep into the season, the cast trip is behind them and loyalties are changing and a flesh-eating bacteria has entered the picture! The ladies are all back to their Dallas lives. Cary Deuber and Mark Deuber catch up and unpack. Cary is very low energy, sitting with her arms folded; telling her husband that she only had a good time with Kameron Westcott and D’Andra Simmons. She goes on to say that Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman didn’t have her back and hasn’t talked to them since. Cary carefully tells her husband that LeeAnne Locken said he goes to the bars and has guys hit on him. Mark keeps his cool but says that he doesn’t need people to ruin them and walks out.

Brandi (and her misbehaving daughters) go to check out the venue for the upcoming white party. Brandi explains that she has an annual themed Christmas party. We’re treated to pictures of her husband in a bathing suit and one in a onesie. An “Event Designer” is all excited about some 6ft light up marquee sign that says “Play”. (??) In her interview, Brandi introduces us to Win, her white reindeer. We’re told they both don’t believe in boundaries, so watch out Kameron. Back in the event space, Stephanie joins and Brandi says she’s still upset with Cary. They’re both weirded out by fighting with their ex-friend. Stephanie gives Cary credit for being there for her when she had no one and just doesn’t want to get in the middle. Shouldn’t she mediate between the two before it gets ugly?


Over at the Ultimate Living offices, D’Andra is excited about a new product she plans to pitch. She’s there bright and early, which impresses Mama Dee. Punctuality is important. Mama Dee is impressed. D’Andra tells her that she has an idea about a new product and Dee is able to squeeze her into her busy schedule. Down the hall, in the big corner office from the 1990s, D’Andra proudly announces that she and Coordinator Amelia have developed a concept around snow algae. (Wasn’t this Jackie, the Cosmetic Designer’s idea?) D’Andra hands her mother a sample of the anti-aging product to try. Dee’s highly impressed. We learn that you can bounce a ping pong ball off of Dee’s ageless face… [Insert “The More You Know” Rainbow Gif] Music swells as D’Andra leans in to tell the big boss that the product launch will cost $100k. After making a subtle dig at D’Andra’s “Bentley appetite”, an impressed Mama Dee green lights the project. Deal.

LeeAnne is under the weather. She says she crashed after returning home from Mexico and needs an IV drip for energy. Instead of relaxing, she rings up Brandi on FaceTime. Who can keep track of these two and their “friendship”? LeeAnne is determined to get to Brandi’s big party. In classic LeeAnne Locken fashion, she dramatically tells Brandi that she hadn’t told her yet, but in Mexico, Cary said to her that because of Brandi and Stephanie’s behavior she can’t be friends with either of them. [Flashback to Cary on the boat dock, “Their behavior toward me has been awful. I can’t be friends with them”] LeeAnne lights the match and Brandi goes for it, recalling how Cary called her a liar on top of it. Both agree that Cary has to say these things to their faces. Real talk. Brandi’s fired up and believes that LeeAnne really is looking out for her here. Meanwhile, LeeAnne is ready to hold Cary’s feet to the fire.


Over in Hamlin, Texas, Kameron (a blonde alien) and Louis Vuitton Westcott roll up to the Texas Mills Dog Food Plant. Kameron regales us with a story of her former dog clothing line. We’re treated to a montage of photos of poor Louie in doggy gowns. We’re assured that this time – it’s going to be a success because we’re working with at 25 BILLION (with a B) dollar industry. (Didn’t we already hear this earlier this season?) Kameron walks into her big pitch meeting and both men shoot one another a look when asked if there’s ever been a pink dog food line. She gets her deal, complete with diamond-shaped kibble. Good for her. We wonder what Mama Dee would think of this product pitch…

LeeAnne returns to Dr. True’s office looking and feeling like death. Dr. True enters full of energy, only to tell her that she’s suffering from a “bad actor bacteria”, or as LeeAnne calls, “a flesh-eating bacteria”. Apparently, it will take several weeks to recover, but good news – no time in the hospital. Yikes.


At the Simmons’ house, D’Andra and Jeremy pack for a holiday trip to Croatia. Keatin FaceTime’s his dad and reveals he’s added Verizon to his resume. Side Note: Did D’Andra ever sell her gowns? Anyway, D’Andra reflects on her time with Keatin and feels she was too hard on him and was trying to control her stepson, similar to how her mom controls her. She delivers a very indirect apology – but an apology nonetheless. The newest Verizon employee says not to worry.

It’s the night of the Brandi Land White Party! The large “PLAY” sign is lit, there’s a photo booth, rock candy lollipops in booze and everyone’s in white. Brandi tells Stephanie that LeeAnne called her to tell her what Cary said in Mexico, how she could NEVER be friends with them. Stephanie isn’t buying it, claiming to have a different relationship with Cary. Brandi is all wound up, similar to the call she had LeeAnne the day before. She doesn’t believe her on again off again friend would lie about Cary. Steph quickly reminds her that she’s lied and said things about all of them. Rationalizing, Brandi says LeeAnne gets angry but is honest. Channeling the FaceTime call, Brandi points her finger at Stephanie, telling her that Cary likes to make up to their faces, but talks behind their backs. In her interview, Stephanie thinks Brandi is still upset that Cary and Stephanie bonded and LeeAnne is inserting a wedge between the trio. Brandi feels that her friendship with Cary is a lie. The one thing everyone can agree on is that they have to talk to Cary. Brandi goes on to say she will not be called a liar and has protected Cary when they both knew that she used to be Mark’s Nanny and Nurse before she became his wife. When Brandi says this, Steph’s face looks like she’s screaming “SHUT UP! STFU” in her head. Brandi doesn’t hold back in her interview, saying, “it’s a little obvious that they did have an affair”.


LeeAnne and Tiffany Hendra (with several feet of hair extensions) walk into the white party. D’Andra rolls in on an iPad screen, calling in from Croatia. LeeAnne tells her to go to sleep and we watch D’Andra roll away. Cary and her new BFFL, Kameron arrive next and blow everyone off. Mark can’t make it. He’s going to a “plastic surgery dinner”, whatever that is…. Kameron can’t handle the use of plastic cups. We’d prefer glass stemware as well.

Stephanie and Brandi check in with LeeAnne who tells them about her IV and being under the weather. Both show concern, but Stephanie gives off the fakest look of worry when she learns of the “flesh-eating bacteria”. Cut to: Stephanie’s interview, “Whatever, I don’t care!”. Haha. Meanwhile, plastic cup in hand, Kameron clutches a gift. For those wondering, a southern lady always brings the host a “little gift item”. (Isn’t that anywhere?) She’s too excited to give Brandi a dozen batteries for her “friend” from Mexico. Brandi doesn’t flinch, “I love this!” she says to the group. Kameron shadily replies that she was trying to be thoughtful. Too bad dildos don’t take batteries. With Cary watching, LeeAnne asks Brandi to please not tell Cary about her ailment, for obvious reasons. Speaking of Cary, she decides to tell the host of the party that she’s “so bored”. So rude. In her interview, Brandi points out that Cary is always trying to cause problems and acting a bitch. She should have said it to her face. Brandi takes the moment to ask her straight out if she said she wouldn’t be friends with Stephanie and her. Cary has no idea what she’s talking about. Rolling her eyes, and pulling out notecards, LeeAnne is READY. However, the party gets loud and Brandi suggests taking it to a quieter spot. Big Mistake. Kameron disapproves, asking why a host would leave to pick a fight with their guest? A party faux pas if she ever saw one.


All the ladies take it outside downstairs. Brandi picks up where she left off, asking Cary why she would say she can’t be friends with them. Cary opens up by saying that she’s been a good friend to the duo but felt they were antagonizing Kameron. Kameron pipes up, saying that Brandi crossed boundaries and Cary saw that. Trying to wiggle out of it, Cary admits that LeeAnne isn’t her biggest fan. LeeAnne stops her, telling Cary that her comments about Brandi and Stephanie have nothing to do with her. True. It’s time for Cary to own it. Before she can, LeeAnne’s notecards return. She turns in her chair, “We’re going to do it now!”. It all kicks off. LeeAnne tells Cary she doesn’t own her shi*, like what she said about Brandi’s plastic surgeon being Dr. Death. Cary assures everyone that Brandi went to the perfect Doc. LeeAnne’s next point of contention: when Brandi brought out the dildo, Cary giggled at Kameron being taunted. Yet, moments later she said she was crying and embarrassed that her stepson would see her with a dildo. Cary owns it. This sets Brandi off, firing back at Cary for always being naked. Stephanie jumps in asking what’s more embarrassing, your husband taking pictures of you naked and having the world see it or your friend having a dildo? Naturally, Cary says the dildo is more embarrassing. Brandi calls B.S. LeeAnne gets up and points out that Cary talks about all the sex she has with her husband, yet somehow her stepson will be embarrassed by dildo talk. Never missing an opportunity, Cary lets us know that the sex is amazing. According to LeeAnne Locken, ALL men LOVE dildos. Who knew? Cary isn’t backing down, asking why it’s okay for her friend Kameron to be embarrassed by sexual chocolate but not her? She’s missing the point, it’s about her owning the comments against Steph-andi.


Stephanie just wishes Cary would have stood up for her and Brandi after Kameron called them both trash. Cary apologizes. Stephanie says she would have never said they wouldn’t be friends. Cary turns to LeeAnne and says she’d NEVER be friends with her. This sends Tiffany into hysterics and LeeAnne into a “Little LeeAnne” fit of rage. LeeAnne screams in Cary’s face that she’s “fake as f****” and Cary can’t help but make fun of LeeAnne’s bad breath. LeeAnne hopes it’s the worst halitosis in the world for her nemesis. Cary gives her a nasty look and turns away, dismissing the former Carny. LeeAnne reaches for the nearest glass and SLAMS it on the floor, belt flying off, screaming, she warns Cary to “BE REAL CAREFUL!” Kameron turns Brandi, “This is why you have plastic”. This show is amazing.


Brandi is not letting the conversation stop here. She doesn’t need notecards, telling Cary she teeter totters with friendships. Cary claims to care about the two of them. Brandi reminds everyone that Cary called her a liar. She pulls out the big guns, announcing that she knew for a fact that Cary was Mark’s nanny. Cary gets visibly upset but does own up to babysitting. LeeAnne watches in shock from the sidelines – she knew this – vindication. Cary points out that Brandi doesn’t sound like Brandi and storms out. Kameron uses this as an excuse to leave too. It’s all very concerning for Stephanie, who fears Brandi sounds like LeeAnne, not her longtime friend.

Next Week: The Sparkle Dog launch party begins. There’s a delay on the snow algae. Cary owns up to her comments in Mexico and LeeAnne and Mark come face to face.

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? Did LeeAnne overreact? Should Cary have walked out?

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