Season two of Real Housewives of Dallas flew by in a whirlwind of funnel cakes, death threats, pink dog food and constant eye rolls and insults regarding class and zip codes. Looking back, I’m not really sure how I feel about it all, but newcomer D’Andra Simmons does. In her latest blog, she addresses her ride or die loyalty to Just Hands while calling out the “brunch bashers” for their bad behavior.
She begins, “We have come to an end of the season, and I have to say, I am a little melancholy. Luckily we still have a drama filled reunion, but it feels so strange that I won’t be rushing home from work or an event staring at the TV screen at 9PM CST watching The Real Housewives of Dallas with everyone and reacting to the Twitter feed. It has been a crazy fun-filled and rewarding ride. I started this season not knowing what to expect from this journey. It was rough at times, but in the end I am truly glad I decided to take this plunge. My year ended with so many blessings and new opportunities, even in the midst of so much tension. My friendship with LeeAnne Locken has remained strong, although, I never questioned it from the get-go. I found my place among a group of ladies that are still trying to find themselves, and I never lost my identity. I stayed true to who I am. Love me or hate me, I am always the same person, whether that is on camera or in private. My mom and I faced our conflicts head on, and I was able to prove to her that I am ready and able to take over the family business. I now have a company of my own and a bright future full of promise that is truly mine to create. My bestie is finally engaged, and I am excited to help her plan her wedding and a few parties in between. Unfortunately, it looks like our guest list may be shrinking!” Um, you think?
Of her friend’s happy news, D’Andra gushes, “I was so excited that LeeAnne asked me to help in the planning of her engagement party! LeeAnne was a Maid of Honor in my wedding. I am going to make this experience extra special for her. That includes ALL of the pre-wedding festivities—Bachelorette Party minus SEXUAL CHOCOLATE, bridal showers galore, and first of all…ENGAGEMENT PARTY! When I arrived to the venue I do have to say I was rather surprised by the ‘carnival’ theme. When I think carnival theme, I automatically go to clowns and petting zoos, so I was WORRIED. Thankfully the coordinators and LeeAnne, had worked out that it would not be gimmicky, but more glitz and glam, something I can support wholeheartedly! Just so we are clear, I love any and ALL STATE FAIRS, just not for a wedding theme.” Is it just me or does D’Andra seem to be covering her bases in order to thwart Twitter beef from 4-H Clubbers?
Recapping that treacherous situation with the L-22, D’Andra recounts her chat with Momma Dee. She writes, “With the party planning helping to distract me, I put off delivering the ominous news to my mom about the late delivery of the L-22 ingredient for my new product. Then I realized I had to bite the bullet. Sadly, it was time to fill Momma Dee in on what I found out at the lab. Going into this meeting I was terrified! I could just hear her disappointed voice in my head, saying ‘You aren’t READY to take over this company, and with this mistake you have proved I am right,'” adding, “To my complete surprise, my mom took the bad news with ease. She did a 180 on me! The next thing I knew, she was turning over the keys to the company. I was shocked! Did this truly mean the company was mine? Well, yes and no. My mother is still going into work most days of the week. And, truly, I am grateful for her presence, since I have been on the road so much promoting my new product, L-22 Elixir and my first season on RHOD. Mom has been helpful in making key decisions when I wasn’t there. It is good to have a trusted family member involved so the inmates aren’t running the asylum, so to speak! She has told me she is taking a step back, and will be spending less time at the office once I get my new team in place and have a staff I can trust. Mom has twenty-two years of running our business, so I will always go to her for advice. She knows our history and is a proven bossbitch! Bow to the Queen!!”
Moving on to the disastrous brunch that was supposed to honor LeeAnne, D’Andra is still in shock over her cast mate’s deplorable etiquette. She asserts, “Things were going well. I had the remarkable news that the company was being handed over to me and then, LeeAnne’s engagement party was to be a festive event I was truly looking forward to celebrating. I was simply on cloud nine! With all the happy news, I was filled with emotion, which truly emanated during my speech at her party. I was and am still SO happy for LeeAnne and Rich. The two of them deserve nothing but the utmost happiness and love for a long and bright future, and I know they have found that in one another. After the big engagement party, I thought it would be even more fun to continue the celebration and host an intimate brunch for LeeAnne with our friends! To my surprise, things did not turn out as I had planned. Cary Deuber, Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman had another plan of their own. These three girls (that is what they acted like…not ladies) took my congratulatory event that was NOT about them or their issues with LeeAnne, and used it to promote their own agenda and blindsided me, Kameron Westcott and LeeAnne. My brunch turned it into a full-fledged roasting of her. As you could tell by my face and by Kameron’s face, we were both in a state of shock when things dissolved into chaos SO quickly.”
She adds, “The irony in all of this for me is when Brandi called out LeeAnne for being manipulative of her and the other two ladies in Mexico. Let’s be real, Cary is back to pulling Brandi’s puppet strings YET again by saying that LeeAnne ‘got her.’ I mean come on. Does anyone with a brain believe this BS? She thought she was a wit… and she was half right. Come on Cary, you are really disappointing me now!! We all know it was Cary that said she couldn’t be friends with Stephanie and Brandi. LeeAnne added her comment AFTER that statement was said, so no manipulating there. When it comes down to it, this all goes back to the fact that not one of those three ladies can do any wrong. Even after Brandi tried to stir up adultery rumors, Cary accepted a poor excuse of an apology from her. No one in their right mind would accept an apology from a friend so easily when they had done them so dirty??? That is why I still say, ‘Am I in the twilight zone? This is surely FAKE NEWS if I have ever heard it!'” Is that technically fake news or is ol’ D just grasping at a buzz phrase?
D’Andra recalls, “By the time these ladies were done, I was so confused I had no idea what they were talking about. I think that was the point of their accusations, to conflate the situation so no one understood ANYTHING and we were all left doubting each other. No matter what LeeAnne says, even if she sincerely apologizes, she is placed under a microscope and is dubbed the devil incarnate. Why are Cary, Stephanie and Brandi allowed to do and say whatever they want with no consequences, when the rest of us are held with our feet to the fire? I get blasted on Twitter for my honesty, but it is completely unfair when I am being 100% honest and calling it as I see it. After the ‘brunch bashers’ stormed out of my house (explain that, by the way. How can you start a fight and just leave without giving the other person time to defend herself?), I ran out because I truly was confused by what happened. I thought that maybe, JUST MAYBE I could convince them to come back in and salvage this day and our friendships for LeeAnne. I tried to understand what they were accusing her of, but I never understood it. Sadly, these ‘ladies’ did not come to celebrate LeeAnne’s happy news as I had hoped, but only came to tear her down and rain on my parade and her celebration.”
Concluding, D’Andra brings up the dildo (again) while opining about her rookie Bravo experience. She signs off, “This year relationships were created anew and then destroyed, Rich put a ring on it, our brands launched two pink products, husbands paid handsomely with good $$$ for their mistakes, and Sexual Chocolate made its grand entry into Dallas society. Alas, we have reached the end of season two. We made it… barely! Ha! Ha! Now onto the reunion! Who can even imagine how that will go? All I know, is I am glad I can take a break from Twitter ‘Housewife hate’ and ‘dildogate’ for a while. With all my free time who knows, I may even get a neck lift?” Wait, why not just bathe in some L-22?
TELL US – IS D’ANDRA BLIND TO LEEANNE’S MESSINESS WITH THE OTHER ‘LADIES’? IS CARY A BETTER PUPPET MASTER?
[Photo Credit: F. Scott Schafer/Bravo]