Aside from all that
boring chatter about the marathon- which is a great achievement that I could never ever pull off- Carole Radziwill blessed the fandom with some amazing shade during the last Real Housewives of New York episode.
At this point in the season, it looks like it’s Carole and Tinsley Mortimer are on one side and Luann de Lesseps and Sonja Morgan on the other. Carole didn’t use up all of her best shade during the episode. She had a lot more to say about Sonja and Lu.
Carole really went in on Luann and Sonja in a Bravo blog post. She wrote, “I really don’t want to get all up in Luann’s afro, because we now know what we didn’t back then—that exactly two months after she walked into that party in blackface, she landed herself in rehab. This is a life-changing experience for her—a virtually Countess Re-boot.” But she does “get all up in Luann’s afro” just a sentence later.
Carole wrote, “But what we are witnessing now (in episode 2) is the version of Luann we have all come to tolerate and expect—the completely un-self aware, condescending bitch in countess clothes. I really don’t want to poke fun at her when she says the dumbest things known to man, but then again this is Housewives, so I guess I must.” So much for putting the situation into context and going easy on the former countess. Carole is so feisty this season. Whether I agree with what she said or not, I’m happy she’s bringing something to the table other than commentary on her pre-marathon workout sessions.
Carole even came for Luann’s countess persona: “Let me say not only am I a titled princess by marriage to my late husband, but I am also the Queen of Authenticcisccisms. Yup, I am Royalty of Realness, Aristocracy of Authenticity, and I believe a queen trumps a countess. It even trumps a countess dressed as a Moroccan princess surprising her husband late at night—which is a brave thing to do.” The woman is a total savage this season and I am here for it. I can’t wait to see what she dishes out against Bethenny Frankel once their feud really starts to play out on the show.
Carole continued, “As the Queen of Authenticissisiasiam, I beseech you… Queen Latifah is not really a queen, nor was The Artist Formerly Known as Prince ever really a prince. The Fresh Prince of Belair wasn’t a prince either. Those are stage names used in their professions as artists. The Countesseseesss got her title by marrying a French dude whose grandfather either built the Suez Canal or shipped over Lady Liberty (who btw, is not really a lady).” She really put a lot of effort into this blog post.
She still wasn’t done though. Carole made sure to shade Lu’s girl Sonja: “Speaking of a lady who is also not really a lady, the lunch between Sonja and Luann made me laugh so hard I peed my royal britches. Swear. I re-wound it five times to see if I could find any hint of self-awareness in Lu’s eyes when describing her accomplishments in her effort to discredit and put Tinsley and I down. Nope, nothing…which made me laugh even harder. So I will match The Countessesseessss’ three dance tunes and her Pandora station and raise her three EMMYs, a NYTimes bestseller, and a newly minted NYC marathon medal.” Damn. She is not playing around.
TELL US- WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON: CAROLE & TINSLEY’S OR LUANN & SONJA’S? IS LUANN A “COMPLETELY UNAWARE & CONDESCENDING BITCH”?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]