Last night’s Southern Charm was mega-Craig. It had all the drama, but the subjects shifted a bit. Boys will be boys! We begin as Shep Rose is preparing for the arrival of his new puppy, and Cameran Eubanks arrives at his house to accompany him to pick up his latest distraction…not to be confused with his most recent distraction–the girl who left thigh-high boots sprawled on his den floor. Cameran is concerned about how long Little Craig will last in his new home…probably as long as thigh-high boots girl did.
In Mount Pleasant, Chelsea Meissner and Austen Kroll are attempting to catch some fish while dishing on Shep calling Madison LeCroy white trash. Austen’s ex wishes that he had clocked Shep for the statement, and Chelsea agrees. Women like for guys to defend their honor. On their way to get Little Craig, Cameran details her recent conversation with Madison to Shep. He admits to saying it, but at least he didn’t say it to her face. Sometimes he’s snobby, okay? Shep doesn’t hate Madison, but he doesn’t like hanging out with rednecks. Cameran thinks his words were too strong, but she wouldn’t be friends with him if he didn’t have a good heart.
Chelsea admits to Austen that Shep often crosses the line. Austen’s relationship with Shep seems surface, but Austen argues that Shep has been a good friend to him. When Chelsea asks Austen to elaborate, he can’t, so she clarifies it for him. They are drinking buddies. She thinks Shep is a bad influence, and Austen admits that he misses Madison. However, she won’t entertain a reconciliation until he gets his act together. Shep and Cameran arrive at the breeder’s house in Orangeburg so he can meet Little Craig. The puppy is adorable as Shep attempts skin-to-skin contact. Little Craig is already well-trained, so we’ll see how long it takes for Shep to corrupt him.
Naomie Olindo and Kathryn Dennis meet to channel their inner zen at a hypnosis spa. Did y’all know that adults go into a state of hypnosis over fifteen times a day? Naomie has been a regular at these sessions because she felt her relationship with Craig Conover made her feel toxic. Kathryn seems skeptical, but soon both girls are lulled into what looks like an amazing nap. I’m all about alternative means of self-care, so I may be checking into this! The therapist leaves the room, and Naomie notices that Kathryn is teary. This just may be working as Kathryn is a fan of the affirmations.
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Naomie reveals that her private hypnotherapy sessions have done wonders. She then tells Kathryn that Craig recently texted her about a trip they took together, but Naomie feels talking to him is disrespectful to her new beau Metul Shah. Kathryn agrees. They both think Craig is living in the past, and Naomie won’t be able to maintain a friendship with him until he can move past their past.
Cameran is shopping at a children’s boutique her BFF, another new mom. The duo gush over their skinny cellulite, adorable baby clothes, and stressed out grandmothers. Cameran is happy to have someone with whom she can commiserate with over the difficulties of motherhood. She’s just not a baby person…but she loves little kids. Cameran is one and done, but her friend isn’t adverse to having a second child.
The pair discuss Cameran’s upcoming thirty-fifth birthday as well as Palmer’s upcoming first year milestone. As a control freak, Cameran doesn’t want presents or a smash cake for Palmer’s big day. She can’t deal with the chaos. I have to say I respect this line of thinking.
On Isle of Palms, Shep is getting used to life with Little Craig who loves cuddling with his new human and eating all of Shep’s belongings. After a successful poo, Shep heads downtown for some human/puppy glamour shots. After the photo shoot, Actual Craig shows up to meet Little Craig. Shep and Craig are disappointed with Cameran for hosting her birthday party in her backyard. They were hoping for something a bit more wild. They want her to get back her mojo, for goodness sake!
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Shep relays his recent conversation with Cameran regarding him calling Madison a “white trash hairdresser.” He was just feeling protective of Austen. Both bros think Austen and Madison are poorly matched, so they are doing him a favor by ripping their relationship to shreds.
Kathryn heads to Danni Baird’s house to get ready for Cameran’s party. The recently reconciled friends chat about oyster roast attire and whether Recent College Grad will be in attendance. Danni tries to defend Eliza Limehouse by saying that she’s just young and awkward. Kathryn doesn’t bristle at Danni’s kindness towards RCG, but she doesn’t need any new friends at the moment. Meanwhile, on James Island, Cameran is prepping for her big day. She feels old, less hip, and not as much fun as she used to be. Plus, now she gets Botox. She pours a cocktail as a crew of folks set up for her daytime soiree.
Cameran fully intends on being in bed by 8:30. After a shot, Chelsea arrives with a cake that aptly says “Halfway to Seventy.” As they catch up, Eliza and her boyfriend who is fourteen years her senior are next on site, followed by Naomie. Cameran and Naomie are both missing their plus one due to hospital schedules, or in Cameran’s husband’s case, not wanting to be filmed for this show.
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Shep and his pooch pal join the group, and everyone wonders what will happen once Austen and Craig convene in Cameran’s backyard. They are both at odds with one another after leaving early while out with Craig. After all, Chelsea urged him to be more of an adult. When Actual Craig arrives, Cameran is feeling no pain, and Austen relays his early bed time to Chelsea prompting vitriol from Craig. When Austen attempts to talk to Craig, Craig wants none of it.
Craig yells that Austen left him with a bunch of people he didn’t know after citing that his ex-girlfriend gave him a curfew of 11 PM. So, let’s get this straight…Craig is peeved that Austen bailed on him leaving behind a bunch of single girls? When Chelsea tries to intervene, Craig unleashes on her? Why is she meddling in Austen’s life? She’s not his mom, and she’s certainly no longer his girlfriend. When Craig tells her she sucks, Chelsea laughs in his face. Cameran is thrilled to leave the fight to welcome Kathryn and Danni and warn them the fight.
Naomie is beyond grateful that Craig is no longer her problem. As Craig sulks in the corner, Shep tries to placate him. He reminds Craig that he doesn’t always have to be all or nothing when it comes to his friendships. Craig calls out Shep for creating a mirror image of America, and I really want to dissect that comment further, but I just don’t know how. Thankfully, we have a wasted Cameran to distract the group from the tension. As she falls to the ground, neighbor’s dog Elvis looks on with pride.
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Cameran then joins Shep and Austen on her porch to impart some drunken wisdom. Shep reminds her that she’s a nerdy loser for hosting a daytime party in her backyard, and Shep proposes a two-day trip to Colorado to get her out of her mom rut. Cam is over the moon about this trip, but someone will have to remind her about it tomorrow. Next, Shep invites Kathryn who is wants to meet Little Craig who has been dognapped by RCG.
Naomie deflects drunk Cam’s questions about her boyfriend and admits that she isn’t keen on heading to Colorado with her pillow-pouting ex. Cameran is positive that Metul wouldn’t feel threatened by Naomie vacationing with Craig, but that isn’t Naomie’s issue. Her problem is Craig’s behavior. After Naomie leaves, Austen and Craig join the girls but have yet to mend fences. Craig may be battling Cameran for the drunkest party attendee, and he doesn’t care if Naomie goes to Colorado even if they don’t have closure.
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Danni, Kathryn, and Cameran cite his unresolved feelings as the reason–he both loves her and hates her. Craig believes that Naomie is tricking herself. She doesn’t want to be around him because it’s a reminder of the perfect relationship she lost. When the girls counter that Naomie’s relationship with Metul is happy and healthy, Craig storms off calling them liars. Little Craig is the better Craig at the moment!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHAT IS CRAIG’S PROBLEM? CAN HE REALLY THINK NAOMIE IS STILL PINING FOR HIM?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]