Joe Abruzzo

After last week’s snoozefest episode, it was about time Southern Charm offered up some serious drama that didn’t involve Craig Conover getting his feelings hurt. Last night was the highly anticipated return of Ashley Jacobs, who proved, yet again, that she can’t take responsibility for any of her actions. It is exhausting to watch her battle over semantics, but it’s torturously entertaining. Let’s dig right in to last night’s show, shall we?

While the OG Charmers are bonding with their pooches, Recent College Grad is complaining about how hard it is to be overshadowed by the Limehouse name. With three hotels and a $50 million inheritance in her future, Eliza works hard to learn the family business booking reservations and covering shifts at hotels. She is not just a spoiled polo brat like most people assume. Eliza discusses the skeet shoot brunch she and her boyfriend Don will be hosting at her family’s plantation. Her mother nags her about emo manicure and sleep habits…and the fact that Eliza is dating someone fourteen years her senior. She wonders if her daughter is seeking a father-figure in her older beaus. Her mother would rather Eliza marry into another well-bred Southern family instead of traipsing around with some thirty-something from (gasp!) New Jersey.

Last night’s Southern Charm was mega-Craig. It had all the drama, but the subjects shifted a bit. Boys will be boys! We begin as Shep Rose is preparing for the arrival of his new puppy, and Cameran Eubanks arrives at his house to accompany him to pick up his latest distraction…not to be confused with his most recent distraction–the girl who left thigh-high boots sprawled on his den floor. Cameran is concerned about how long Little Craig will last in his new home…probably as long as thigh-high boots girl did.

In Mount Pleasant, Chelsea Meissner and Austen Kroll are attempting to catch some fish while dishing on Shep calling Madison LeCroy white trash. Austen’s ex wishes that he had clocked Shep for the statement, and Chelsea agrees. Women like for guys to defend their honor. On their way to get Little Craig, Cameran details her recent conversation with Madison to Shep. He admits to saying it, but at least he didn’t say it to her face. Sometimes he’s snobby, okay? Shep doesn’t hate Madison, but he doesn’t like hanging out with rednecks. Cameran thinks his words were too strong, but she wouldn’t be friends with him if he didn’t have a good heart.

Do you think Craig Conover is still recovering from the hot dog assault on last week’s episode of Southern Charm? You would think he’d have learned by now how thick his skin needs to be if he’s going to be friends with Shep Rose and Whitney Sudler-Smith! While the boys continue their ill-fated road trip to get Austen Kroll’s mind off of Madison LeCroy, the ladies have their own agenda. Chelsea Meissner joins Danni Baird at the doctor for some egg freezing fun, and Patricia Altschul hosts the gals for a dinner party where the forgiveness is served with a side of Kathryn Dennis eye rolls. And those are just the highlights…what a time to be a Charmer!

The show begins with the boys readying for the drive to Nashville, but the awkwardness between Shep, Whitney, and Craig is palpable. Austen is silently peeved at Shep’s attempt to sweep the previous night’s nastiness under the rug. He believes it’s a pattern with Shep. Later that evening, the guys arrive at their Nashville hotel, and Shep is already planning the evening’s after party. As Craig preens, Whitney sanitizes the room in a way that would make Lisa Rinna proud. Shep has shaved his beard to a goatee. It’s not a good look. Austen receives a hot pic from Madison, and his friends are quick to remind him that this is the exact reason they aren’t together. She’s manipulating him.