Joe Abruzzo

If last week’s episode Southern Charm was the introduction of Mary Jane into the cast (with cameras involved, obviously), last night’s show was a sky-high debacle. It’s the first day on the mountain for the Charmers, minus Shep Rose who is still nursing a drunken knee injury and Whitney Sudler-Smith who is still crying over a ski accident from childhood. Chelsea Meissner is channeling Putin’s mistress, Austen Kroll is pretending he’s not trying to hook up with ex Madison LeCroy, and the majority of the girls are headed to ski and snowboarding lessons.

Over a pre-slope breakfast, Austen denies any smooching with Madison, but he’s not going to lie and say he doesn’t want to rekindle that flame. Cameran Eubanks recognizes that this trip will not be rejuvenating her mojo as she FaceTimes with baby Palmer. The group is quick to motivate, waiting on Kathryn Dennis to don her Tellatubbie/Charlie’s Angels (original, not the reboot) ski look. It’s a lot, but it is magnificent.

It took a week for us to recover from Ashley Jacobs’ appearance on Southern Charm, and this week’s episode gave us more Craig Conover tantrums. He needs a new shtick. At least we were treated to a change of scenery as the group jetted off to Colorado.

The show begins with Cameran Eubanks joining Shep Rose at the site of his new lot on James Island. It’s 3.5 acres for a mere $900K, and Cameran is is convinced it’s a money pit. He doesn’t have any site plans, and he’s unsure about the flood zone designation which is a very key item in Charleston. The pair discusses their upcoming trip to Colorado, and Shep is peeved to hear that Cam has included Austen Kroll’s ex Madison LeCroy in the group.

After last week’s snoozefest episode, it was about time Southern Charm offered up some serious drama that didn’t involve Craig Conover getting his feelings hurt. Last night was the highly anticipated return of Ashley Jacobs, who proved, yet again, that she can’t take responsibility for any of her actions. It is exhausting to watch her battle over semantics, but it’s torturously entertaining. Let’s dig right in to last night’s show, shall we?

While the OG Charmers are bonding with their pooches, Recent College Grad is complaining about how hard it is to be overshadowed by the Limehouse name. With three hotels and a $50 million inheritance in her future, Eliza works hard to learn the family business booking reservations and covering shifts at hotels. She is not just a spoiled polo brat like most people assume. Eliza discusses the skeet shoot brunch she and her boyfriend Don will be hosting at her family’s plantation. Her mother nags her about emo manicure and sleep habits…and the fact that Eliza is dating someone fourteen years her senior. She wonders if her daughter is seeking a father-figure in her older beaus. Her mother would rather Eliza marry into another well-bred Southern family instead of traipsing around with some thirty-something from (gasp!) New Jersey.