The 90 Day Finance franchise has no shortage of hot mess couples. Even with all of the hot messes competing for stardom on the current seasons, Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima from Season 6 rank high on the list of the greatest. The couple started out with Col-tee bringing his Brazilian bombshell home to live with his mother and forcing her to eat Mama Debbie‘s beef stew. Col-tee then proposed at dinner on top of a Vegas skyscraper despite knowing Larissa was deathly afraid of heights. Things quickly spiraled from there. By the end of the season, Larissa had been arrested for domestic violence multiple times, they were on the verge of divorce, and the Queen was facing deportation.
That’s why it is a little surprising to see that they are coming back for Season 5 of 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?. Sure, they are entertaining, but we already saw one Happily Ever After? season showing their total dissolution as a couple. I know this is 90 Day Fiance, which sometimes resembles the Twilight Zone, but isn’t the whole point of the Happily Ever After? franchise to show what happens to our favorite couples once they are married? If they wanted to film people separately they could just call it “Stupid People Dating” or something along those lines.
Regardless, Col-tee and Larissa are back, as evidenced by new trailer.
It opens with a recap of Col-tee showing what a great guy he is as he ends it with Larissa for good.”I don’t care anymore, I don’t like you,” Col-tee so eloquently tells Larissa. He then reminds us that after Larissa’s third arrest, he filed for divorce and abandoned her.
Next, we get an appearance by Mama Debbie cackling as she tells the camera, “I’m glad she’s gone!”
Well, duh. Col-tee is the epitome of a Mama’s Boy with definite Oedipal undertones. Larissa was Mama Debbie’s competition. Of course, Debbie is glad she is gone.
Personally, I do not see what Mama Debbie brings to the show. I get that they are trying to play up the whole Debbie-is-Colt’s-Soulmate thing, but Debbie is just so bland. The Real Housewives franchise had given us crazy over-the-top mothers like Mama Joyce and Mama Elsa. Why can’t 90 Day Fiance do better than Mama Debbie??? She seems like a nice lady, but there is just nothing interesting about her in the slightest. She makes me want to drink warm milk and go to bed.
Larissa is looking fierce lounging poolside in a bikini as her friends tell her, “It’s time for you to live the American Dream!”
Seriously, though, how is Larissa allowed to still be in this country and not in jail??? Three arrests for domestic violence in a short period of time? All before she was even a citizen? I want her lawyer’s number. I am glad to see her doing well, but I will never understand how she managed to avoid jail time, or deportation, or both.
Lastly, we get treated to Col-tee telling us that he is dating again! It shows him kissing a Larissa look-alike and then asking her, “Would you like to come back to my hotel room so we can probably have sex?”
RELATED: 90 Day Fiance Star Colt Johnson Sold Larissa Dos Santos Lima’s Wedding Dress Online; Is Also Selling Their Wedding Invitations
Yes, he actually says that. Ew. Just ew. It baffles me that there are women who are willing to date someone like Col-tee. I can understand that Larissa wanted to come to America but what do these other women possibly see in him? And no matter how hard he tries, he will never find a woman who loves him like Mama Debbie. They really do belong together.
We will have to wait for the new season to see what these two crazy kids have in store for us this time! I hope we get to see Mama Debbie fight someone over Col-tee. That would make her a lot more interesting. Let’s just hope Larissa manages to stay out of jail this time.
TELL US- ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE COLT AND LARISSA BACK? DO YOU THINK TLC SHOULD FEATURE COUPLES AFTER THEY HAVE LONG BROKEN UP? ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT LARISSA IS STILL LIVING IN THE U.S.? DO YOU THINK COLT AND HIS MOM ULTIMATELY BELONG TOGETHER? ARE COLT AND LARISSA THE BIGGEST HOT MESS COUPLE IN 90 DAY HISTORY?
[Photo Credit: TLC]