THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI -- "Black Card Energy" Episode 511 -- Pictured: Dr. Nicole Martin -- (Photo by: Peacock)

Real Housewives Of Miami Season 5 Episode 15 Recap: Are We Watching Real Housewives Or Mean Girls?

The heat was turned all the way up on Real Housewives of Miami after Adriana De Moura blurted out yet another infamous bad Real Housewives analogy. Alexia Echevarria has officially declared war on Adriana. You can’t really blame her once Adriana brought Frankie Rosello’s accident into the chat. Bad move, Ankle.

The latest RHOM episode is all about the fallout from Adriana’s atrocious analogy. The ladies survive the rest of the Bahamas trip, but it’s clear that there will be a staunch divide in the group through the remainder of the season. Here are five of the main takeaways from the latest RHOM episode “Lines In The Sand.”

RHOM Turns Into A High School Popularity Contest

Adriana’s analogy about Frankie’s accident was like a verbal bomb on that private beach in the Bahamas. Alexia immediately started going off on her old friend, calling her a bad person who deserves the karma that life throws at her. It’s harsh, but exactly the reaction I’d expect from someone mentioning the Cuban Barbie’s sons during a petty fight.

Marysol Patton and Larsa Pippen immediately back up Alexia. Again, Adriana is totally in the wrong for this. However, it seemed like Larsa and Marysol were waiting for an excuse to shun Adriana for good. Julia Lemigova sides with Adriana, even though she knows her friend’s words were wrong because she hates the mean girl gang up against her bestie. Julia gets so fired up that she almost dumps a bucket of ice over Marysol’s head. Seriously, it was an explosion like no other.

None of the girls want to even sit at the same table together, which complicates the final dinner in the Bahamas. It was supposed to be a joint birthday celebration for Kiki Barth and Julia. The group ends up splitting up into two tables at the same restaurant, in true Mean Girls fashion. Nicole Martin even calls Alexia the Regina Georga, and she’s not wrong.

Alexia brags about sitting at the popular table with Marysol, Larsa, and Kiki while Julia and Adriana realize they’re back at the weirdos’ table like they were in high school. The best part of this awkward dinner is when the servers bring out two birthday cakes, one for each woman. Kiki realizes that the cake is for someone turning 50, and is appalled that someone thought that was her age. To be fair, I had a hard time keeping track of this split dinner. It’s not shocking that even the 5-star resort staff had issues.

Nicole And Guerdy Get Stuck In The Middle

The side effect of people picking Team Adriana or Team Alexia is that some of the girls are put in the middle. Lisa Hochstein gets out of the drama by heading back to Miami early, but Nicole and Guerdy Abraira are stuck. During the awkward split dinner, the duo ends up going back and forth between both birthday celebrations. Guerdy does her best to try to get Team Alexia to warm up to an apology from Adriana, which isn’t happening. Nicole is upset that Alexia wants them to pick sides so badly, so she’s just drinking to soothe the pain. The pair end up taking shots at both tables so as to not make one side feel left out. “I think I’ve outdrank Marysol,” Nicole jokes. Now THAT would be the day.

RELATED: Real Housewives of Miami Star Guerdy Abraira Says That Larsa Pippen Is The “Fakest Housewife”

A week after the trip ends, Adriana has a party to celebrate her music video release. She invites all the girls, but Team Alexia opts for a Cockies and Caviar party at Marysol’s house instead. Not nice, ladies. To be fair, Adriana sent Alexia an apology text that read “My bad” instead of “I’m sorry,” which rubbed the ladies the wrong way. Nicole, Guerdy, and Lisa are the only ones to show up to support besides Julia, which bums Adriana out. The three neutral ladies want nothing more than for the group to be back together, and it looks like they’ll have a lot more work to do to make that happen.

Adriana Might Be Living On Her Own Planet

Let us not forget that Adriana, throughout the entire Bahamas trip, acted pretty ridiculous. The whole ankle situation is just embarrassing. It’s even more so when she stands up at the split dinner and dances in front of the group, which royally pisses off Alexia. Good thing Alexia doesn’t see the 5-inch stilettos Adriana shows up to her music video party in. Adriana ultimately realizes pretty quickly after the fact that the analogy about Frankie was wrong. Alexia clearly isn’t open to an apology, and Adriana is just poor at communicating. Someone who understands that well is Guerdy, who is also often misunderstood. “She has good intentions but it just gets lost in translation,” Guerdy says. You can say that again, girl.

Adriana reveals a lot in this episode that I think is very telling. It’s obvious she’s emotionally broken from her divorce and feeling alone, but it always feels like she’s not confronting something. Well, that something is apparently the alimony check from her ex, which is running out sooner rather than later. While it provides some clarity as to why Adriana’s a bit of a hot mess lately, it does conjure more questions.

Why is Adriana spending so much cash on nonsense, like a ridiculous music video shoot and butt shots to look like Larsa, when her bankroll is ending soon? She’s clearly worried about providing for herself and her son as a result, which makes a lot of sense why she wants to feel supported by her friends. Adriana just puts the focus on nonsense like her ankle or her music video shoot rather than explaining the root of the issue, which might go a long way.

Lisa Gives Lea Black A Promotional Slot

Ladies and gentlemen, Lea Black is back. Well, for a literal moment. It seems like none of the other RHOM OGs besides Lisa really wanted to give Miss Black any camera time in the new era of the show. Lisa has been open about her friendship with Lea. Lea supported Lisa during Lenny Hochstein’s first emotional affair, and she’s apparently back for her friend this time around. Lisa pays a visit to Lea’s house, which is full of Lea Black promo. She’s definitely making the most out of her 15 seconds. We can’t hate a girl boss.

Lea ends up giving Lisa a major pep talk while promoting her skincare line. She’s a multitasking queen, people. Lea says what we all think — Lisa should absolutely never go back to Lenny. Like, ever. No matter how much he begs and pleads for the sake of the kids. Unfortunately, Lisa admits it would be hard for her to not consider the fact, but luckily, Lenny is big enough of a D-bag to force her to get over him.

Lenny Is Literally Trying To Erase Lisa’s Existence

What’s an RHOM Season 5 episode without Lenny making us despise him even more? Lisa meets up with Lenny’s mom during the episode, who has been Team Lisa up until this point. Lisa explains that Lenny is trying to get her out of their family home by October, so he can kick off his new pathetic “life” by Halloween. This is a grown man with children. How lame. He also wants to move his new girlfriend right into the house and have her sleep in Lisa’s bed, use Lisa’s closet, and be a pseudo-stepmom to Lisa’s kids. Disgusting. He’s trying to erase Lisa and replace her with a younger model in the most literal sense.

Unfortunately, Lenny’s manipulation knows no bounds. He apparently called to apologize to his mom for lashing out at her and had enough time to do a little Lisa bashing. Lisa’s mother-in-law tries to bring up Lenny’s side of the divorce. She adds that Lisa’s travel weekends and willingness to host parties filled with young women pushed Lenny to cheat. “She’s essentially excusing his behavior and now putting the blame on me,” Lisa says. I’m so sad for her. Lisa needs a village of people who have her back fully, not those who are willing to play Lenny’s games.


[Photo Credit: Peacock]