(Photo by Gary Gershoff/Getty Images)

Monique Samuels Takes Some Accountability For Divorce

When Monique Samuels appeared on Real Housewives of Potomac, she seemed to have it all. Beautiful children, a successful husband, and four homes that lived rent-free in Gizelle Bryant’s mind.

But Monique was struggling with being overwhelmed as a mom and it wasn’t exactly paradise with her co-stars. After a considerable brawl with Candiace Dillard, Monique chose not to return the next season. She and Chris Samuels went on to other reality television ventures, and cracks in their marriage were evident. After a divorce announcement, Monique is now taking some accountability. She spoke on the issues during an Instagram Live.

Monique was miserable in the marriage

In a revealing moment with followers, Monique shared, “I was in therapy and my counselor asked me, ‘What is it that you want? If you could have the ideal marriage, if you could have everything you want from a marriage, what is it that you want?’ And she told me to write those things down.”

She added, “Then, she told me, ‘If he is unable to do those things for you, and he is the same that he is now and he never changes, are you able to live life with him for the rest of your life?’ And she was like, ‘I want you to think about it. Next time we meet, we’ll talk about it. I don’t want you to answer right now.’”

Monique sat with her “homework” and took “two weeks writing down all of the pros, all of the cons, and really, really thinking about it.” Unfortunately, she decided she couldn’t continue the charade of being happy. “I just got to the point where I was in a place where I was so miserable,” Monique confessed.

“It wasn’t just all on him, it was also just with myself, dealing with my own issues and trauma, understanding myself and why I respond and react the ways I do, going through my childhood,” she continued.

“Quite a ride”

“Y’all, I’ve done some work. I’ve been doing some work and it wasn’t easy. It’s not easy to look at the things about yourself that you don’t like and you don’t love and say, ‘You know what, I’m going to love the bad parts of me, I’m going to love the good parts, which is easier. But even the things that I don’t like about myself, I have to really embrace that and love that,” Monique explained.

Apparently, she went on a full journey. “Oh, my God. It has been quite a ride. But I was determined to really do the work and grow. And the more I grew, and the more I started to realize myself. I started to create boundaries for myself, that’s when I knew I am no longer the person that I was when I walked down that aisle 11 years ago.”

Those boundaries sure would have come in handy at the winery … “You get to the point where you just accept the fact that this is the fact. Like, this is where it is, you know? And that’s what led me to the point where I was like, ‘You know what, I think [this] is what will be best,” Monique said.

End of the road

“If we keep going down this road and we’re bickering at each other and we’re not able to communicate. Sometimes not even talking to each other. How is this going to affect our children? Because I was thinking like most people, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay together for the kids.’ But that never works. Staying together for the kids means that you’re giving them a terrible example of what a relationship should be like,” she concluded.

As for the dirty details? We won’t get them. “We are where we are regardless without y’all knowing that information or not knowing that information. This is what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to say things that will paint a negative image of him. Nor will he paint a negative image of me because at the end of the day, what’s good is that going to do?”

Further, “Me trying to defend my actions and defend why I am where I am and put that out on social media really does nothing for us and it does nothing for our co-parenting relationship. I know the reasons why and he knows the reason why and we are where we are and that’s it.”

All of this makes me wonder if she’s about to pop up as Single Monique on RHOP.