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RHOC Secrets Revealed Recap - What Did Vicki Know?

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County Secrets Revealed centered around their two favorite topics: Brooks Ayers and Butts! (Thankfully not together! Unless you’re counting discussion about what an ass Brooks is). 

Before we get to the assery of Brooks (and later Terry) we must first confront the assery of David. Did you know – he had an affair! During the last reunion Shannon Beador pretended her marriage was amazing and wonderful and more perfect than ever. Except, haha –  3 weeks prior she had learned David was cheating, then he left her, then he came home with his dick tail between his legs, and then he whisked her away on a 17-day romantic vacation. So she wasn’t lying! Sadly when the cameras started rolling again, “reality” set-in. 

Really – honestly – I don’t care what’s happening with Shannon, her vagina, her affair, her husband, her colon, her rectum, because her voice is sounding more like my 90-year-old great aunt’s by the day and that’s scary. 

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Kim Zolciak Wedding

When I want to announce how much I love and adore my husband I always do so by posting a photo dry-humping him while wearing a string bikini. Doesn’t everyone? Or just me and Kim Zolciak?

After 4 years of wedded bliss and more babies than I care to count, Kim and Kroy Biermann are celebrating their anniversary. And since Kim is also selling $175 tickers to her Ask, Believe, And Receive speaking tour, she’s taking to instagram to praise the heavens for sending her Kroy, whom she so fervently asked Big Poppa for using her Ask, Believe, and Receive mentality. 

Kim and Kroy are celebrating this momentous anniversary occasion with a vacation in Mexico. 

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Vicki has no defenses

Vicki Gunvalson has been shockingly silent ever since Brooks Ayers was caught Google Image-lifting a chemo bill he purported to be from City Of Hope. But after City of Hope released a statement denying they treated Brooks, Vicki is finally commenting! 

Today Brooks admitted to releasing fake chemo documents and swore Vicki had no knowledge of his actions.  

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Bethenny Frankel

It’s been rumored that yet again veteran Real Housewives Of New York stars Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan, and Luann de Lesseps are locked in a steely contract negotiation with Bravo over their salaries for season 8. Well, Bethenny Frankel, blunt as ever and never one to hold back, just confirmed it!

Bethenny has no patience for this Manhattan Standoff. “Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered and negotiation is definitely an art form,” she quipped caustically. 

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Tom Schwartz & Jax Taylor

This season of Vanderpump Rules is bringing in new blood, but it’s also settling old scores. “I think it’s a redeeming season. It’s a story of redemption for a lot of us,” declares Tom Schwartz. And surprisingly for Jax Taylor as well. 

Jax credits his latest girlfriend Brittany Cartwright for changing his ways. “I’ve obviously dated girls who are kind of difficult and very ‘Hollywood.’ This one’s just awesome. She’s a really cool girl, she’s really laid back.”

Jax and Brittany met in Vegas where she was working. “I can’t tell the story about how we met. Or where she works, that’s even better,” hints Jax. WHY? “I’ll tell you I was with another girl on that trip.” Of course. But apparently it was meant to be!

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I could watch Vanderpump Rules forever, like on a loop, one never-ending Kristen Doute messy relationship after another. Oh wait, I am! HAHA – funny how that’s working out. Kristen cheated on Tom Sandoval, blamed Tom 1 for their relationship being awful, bragged about the wondrous peen of James Kennedy, then their relationship ended up being equally awful in all the same ways, Kristen returned to her nagging, stalking, threatening, emotionally manipulative, meltdowns and… well you know what happened! James cheated!  Didn’t think he had the balls. Literally. 

Is that karma, or just the laws of physics. Whatever – I’m sensing a pattern here. Is that pattern Kristen

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Ken Giggy Lisa PUMP grand opening

Remember way back when, when a former Villa Blanca waitress sued Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd? The waitress in question accused her manager of sexual harassment, then said she was forced to quit after being subjected to a hostile work environment. Now it’s the attorney who represented Lisa and Ken who is on the receiving end of a lawsuit! 

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star filed a suit against attorney Marianne Zakarin alleging she poorly defended them by not exercising due diligence in their case with Karina Bustillos, the former waitress who was awarded a $1.6 million dollar judgement. 

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Watch What Happens Live - Season 12

Vicki Gunvalson‘s past relationship to Brooks “Wait!Wait! Gimme Another Chance To Prove I Have Cancer” Ayers is very publicly exploding in her face, but that doesn’t mean she’s staying home and crying into a glass of wine. Vicki is single and ready to mingle! Is that wise? I feel like she needs to move into the Starting Over house for some intensive therapy (Please tell me you all remember that show?!). 

This Friday Vicki and a mystery man were spotted at The Ranch, an Anaheim, CA restaurant. In stealthy photos captured of the two it appears the Real Housewives Of Orange County star is holding hands with the man later identified as Smith Walker. That name cannot be real – it sounds like it was manufactured from a BuzzFeed Quiz about what your name would be if you were a liquor. 

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