I can’t believe I’m saying this (cold day in hell and all that…) but if only Brooke would’ve taken Hannah Ferrier‘s advice to stay away from Joao she could’ve spared herself a lot of trouble! Instead Brooke has to face reality the hard way – by watching herself look like an idiot every week on TV while Joao flirted with Kasey Cohen behind her back, then continued doing so long after filming wrapped.
The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?
Tonight we say farewell to our favorite yacht crew as another season comes to a close. The Below Deck Mediterranean reunion is tonight and we can’t wait to rehash the drama and love triangles of the season!
In the preview clips released, Captain Sandy Yawn gets candid with Conrad Empson, scolding him for his many, many cigarette breaks and his preoccupation with Hannah Ferrier. She even lets him know that she doesn’t see him making it in this line of work. Ouch!
This week your favorite reality TV stars were all about the family time. Potomac Housewife Monique Samuels posted a photo of herself with her husband Chris Samuels and their two children. Former Real Housewives of Orange County cast member Meghan Edmondsshared a photo holding all three of her babies in her lap at the same time.
It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!
The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…
Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,” but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know!
I don’t know where Below Deck Mediterranean would be without Hannah Ferrier. No, I’m not talking about her performance as a member of the yacht crew, but she is really carrying this show on her back. She has drama with almost every cast member episode after episode. She’s the only original cast member who is still on this show. She really is the MVP of Below Deck Med in an unconventional way.
As expected, there is even more Hannah-instigated drama in tonight’s season finale episode. According to the episode description on the Bravo website, “Hannah picks a fight with Joao [Franco] and Brooke [Laughton], causing the mild mannered Brooke to fight back.” Brooke snapping back at Hannah has been a long time coming.”
Apparently mirror selfies are still going strong. New York Housewife Tinsley Mortimerrecently posted one with her on-again-off-again boyfriend Scott Kluth. So it’s safe to assume that these two are “on again.” Real Housewives of Orange Countynew girl Gina Kirschenheiteralso shared a photo of post-glam session look.
Below Deck Mediterranean cast member Jamie Jasonshowed off her bikini body with a mirror selfie of her own. And then there’s Vanderpump Rulesstar Lala Kent, the queen of the mirror selfie, serving up a super casual (and most likely super expensive) look.
It’s the last charter for Below Deck Mediterranean and the guests are literally a coma, luckily all crew relationships are exploding like a fireworks display.
Hannah Ferrier and Conrad Empson are FINALLY breaking up – and this is only because Conrad tired of her toxic, immature dramas. “This is not going to work. If you argue every day what’s the point in being there. You’re not happy. I’m done,” he decides, before telling Hannah that Prague, and all its glories as a couples trip, is not happening.
This is what truly enrages Hannah – that she cannot manipulate Conrad into staying with her through the trip. He asserts to think about it but his eyes already focused on the future horizon, populated with women his own age, looking to have fun and not use him as a baby bait to make older, established men feel bad for her.
