And now for something completely different! We’re seeing some new faces on Southern Charm this season. Viewers were officially introduced to recent college graduate, Eliza Limehouse on the premier episode. Her degree wasn’t very helpful, as she received some fan backlash after her appearance. We have also met Naomie Olindo’s new boyfriend, Metul Shah. He is a physician and has been known to give Cameran Eubanks a case of the vapors. Another new face is
unemployable Austen Kroll’s current woman, Madison LeCroy. Austen might be more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, but Madison is adding spice to his story line.
Perhaps the best new addition to the cast is newcomer, Lil Craig. His human, Shep Rose decided a companion would be fun. After consulting with his mother, who said ABSOLUTELY NOT, Shep bought himself a doggie. Lil Craig pounced on the scene of Cameron’s birthday bash wearing a chic banana collar and accessorized with a taco leash. As celebrities know, fame comes at the expense of personal privacy. Lil Craig is finding that out for himself now, as he embarks (emBARKS, see what I did there?) on his social media journey.
Last night’s Southern Charm was mega-Craig. It had all the drama, but the subjects shifted a bit. Boys will be boys! We begin as Shep Rose is preparing for the arrival of his new puppy, and Cameran Eubanks arrives at his house to accompany him to pick up his latest distraction…not to be confused with his most recent distraction–the girl who left thigh-high boots sprawled on his den floor. Cameran is concerned about how long Little Craig will last in his new home…probably as long as thigh-high boots girl did.
In Mount Pleasant, Chelsea Meissner and Austen Kroll are attempting to catch some fish while dishing on Shep calling Madison LeCroy white trash. Austen’s ex wishes that he had clocked Shep for the statement, and Chelsea agrees. Women like for guys to defend their honor. On their way to get Little Craig, Cameran details her recent conversation with Madison to Shep. He admits to saying it, but at least he didn’t say it to her face. Sometimes he’s snobby, okay? Shep doesn’t hate Madison, but he doesn’t like hanging out with rednecks. Cameran thinks his words were too strong, but she wouldn’t be friends with him if he didn’t have a good heart.
Do you think Craig Conover is still recovering from the hot dog assault on last week’s episode of Southern Charm? You would think he’d have learned by now how thick his skin needs to be if he’s going to be friends with Shep Rose and Whitney Sudler-Smith! While the boys continue their ill-fated road trip to get Austen Kroll’s mind off of Madison LeCroy, the ladies have their own agenda. Chelsea Meissner joins Danni Baird at the doctor for some egg freezing fun, and Patricia Altschul hosts the gals for a dinner party where the forgiveness is served with a side of Kathryn Dennis eye rolls. And those are just the highlights…what a time to be a Charmer!
The show begins with the boys readying for the drive to Nashville, but the awkwardness between Shep, Whitney, and Craig is palpable. Austen is silently peeved at Shep’s attempt to sweep the previous night’s nastiness under the rug. He believes it’s a pattern with Shep. Later that evening, the guys arrive at their Nashville hotel, and Shep is already planning the evening’s after party. As Craig preens, Whitney sanitizes the room in a way that would make Lisa Rinna proud. Shep has shaved his beard to a goatee. It’s not a good look. Austen receives a hot pic from Madison, and his friends are quick to remind him that this is the exact reason they aren’t together. She’s manipulating him.
Is it just me, or is Southern Charm not as charming as it once was? The premise was great when these folks were in their twenties, but mid-thirties frat boys just aren’t as entertaining. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore the show, but I’m nostalgic for the good old days of bar hopping and bed-hopping when it was funny…not semi-pathetic. Maybe I’m just in a mood…
The drama of last week’s episode seems all but forgotten (if only that were true!) as the Charmers prepare for their day. Craig Conover’s ADD interferes with cleaning up after his party, and Kathryn Dennis is getting a spray tan that will no doubt look completely natural. Speaking of natural, nothing looks more normal than Patricia Altschul’s butler Michael pulling her Bentley through the Mac Donald’s drive-thru. She’s craving a cheeseburger with no
ketchup tomato. She reveals that her guiltiest pleasures are Mickey D’s, Costco hot dogs, and Taco Bell tacos. In fact, Patricia prefers her fast food to the finest French cuisine. She nibbles on her number one in the backseat with a cloth napkin (not paper!) and glass of Cabernet while Michael toodles her around Charleston. What a life!
So last night’s episode of Southern Charm began right where last week’s ended…with Kathryn Dennis embroiled in a confrontational conversation with friends Danni Baird, Naomie Olindo, Cameran Eubanks, and Chelsea Meissner at a tree house dinner party in which the only alcohol available to numb the awkwardness is a one not often willingly consumed by folks who didn’t buy it with a fake ID. Good times! Cameran is choking it down though because it’s that kind of tension.
Danni requests a one-on-one with Kathryn by the bonfire. The rest of the group goes a-rootin’ tootin’ back to their respective tree houses, grateful for the reprieve. Danni is a really stellar friend, by the way. She delicately shares that the way Kathryn responds to things that she doesn’t want to hear hurts her feelings. She is unable to have a normal disagreement commonly shared among good friends, and instead, she shuts down completely. Just like she’s doing now when she doesn’t like what Danni has to say. No one knows the extent of Kathryn’s struggles, and no one can have an opinion on how she handles them. She feels embarrassed and betrayed by Danni.
Um, I get that Kathryn has trust issues larger than the loan on her Rolls-Royce, but she wouldn’t recognize someone legitimately caring about her if it smacked her in the face. Her issue with Danni seems less about trust and more about entitlement.
Southern Charm is all about hooking up and hanging out. The cast seems to do little else aside from going to restaurants serving up cholesterol-laden food, drink, and gossip. And when the cast is not drinking or gossiping, they are looking for love. Often in all the wrong places. Like in a threesome video ala Austen Kroll. Or with men old enough to be their fathers, like Kathryn Dennis. Or at bar time with the sorority girl of the moment–yes, that would be you, Shep Rose!
Southern Charm star Naomie Olindo, who was finally added as a full-time cast member this season, has also been a Charmer looking for love. She first joined the show as the girlfriend of Craig Conover. As Craig and Naomie were clearly ill-suited for one another, it was no surprise that their relationship imploded after a few years. Since splitting with Craig, Naomie has moved on to a serious relationship with Dr. Metul Shah. Naomie recently shared her thoughts about Metul, their future–and how Craig is reacting to her being in a new relationship.
Last night we were treated to the first half of a tw0-part Southern Charm which answered A LOT of questions I never wanted nor needed to know. At all.
The charmers are getting ready for their day, and Patricia Altschul is concerned that her hairstylist is somewhat distracted. It seems Madison LeCroy has given Ms. Pat an unfortunate Kathryn Dennis-esque type poof. Whatever could be her issue? Only Austen Kroll knows for sure! Chelsea Meissner is the only one working, and some dude drops off a surfboard for Shep Rose prior to the aging frat boy’s haircut appointment.
Craig Conover’s penchant for laziness and lounging hungover in hoodies must be contagious because Austen has been afflicted. Over burritos and beer, Austen laments about the downfall of his relationship with Madison. He’s embarrassed to admit to his friends that he still in love with a girl who tried to slide into his friend’s boyfriend’s DMs. She seems so sweet and innocent given the fact that she’s only had three boyfriends in her lifetime. Craig teases that she probably had so few relationships because the rest of the guys never responded to her on Instagram. Craig has jokes!
Okay can we all agree Cameran Eubanks might be going through a little something? The rookie parent could very well have a case of Mom Brain. And if you don’t already know, it’s a real affliction. Symptoms include forgetfulness, sleep deprivation, and saying weird things. Case in point, on a recent episode of Southern Charm, we saw Cam low key flirting with Craig Conover (I would). She also seemed to be considering smoking the jazz cabbage in an effort to deal with the trials and tribulations of motherhood.
Life has been hectic for Cameran since her baby was born. She has encountered obstacles returning to her real estate career, as well as juggling her return to social gatherings. Her awkward flirting didn’t stop with Craig. Enter Naomie Olindo’s boyfriend. Metul Shah is the new
meat man on campus and Cam can’t take it. The resident physician in anesthesiology took Cameran’s breath away, and maybe her ability to think before she speaks.