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Stassi Schroeder

GG Calls The Cast Of Shahs “Hoodrats”

Last season of Shahs of Sunset ended on a sour note for cast member Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi. During the reunion, viewers watched GG’s relationship with the cast fall apart. It turned into a shouting match between her and the rest of the group. The fights were one right after the other.

Nema Vand showed texts where GG threatened to use his sister’s hand to sodomize him. How very Stassi Schroeder of her. Then Reza Farahan and Mercedes “MJ” Javid admitted they had invited GG’s ex-husband to the reunion to get his side of the story. GG stormed off and then fought with Destiney Rose. Do things turn around for GG in the upcoming season?

Vanderpump Rules - Kristen Doute

Batten down the hatches because after a few weeks of in hiding Krazy Kristen Doute has returned in full splendor on Vanderpump Rules. Solvang? Or So Insane? Kristen wasn’t the only one Solvagning problems though – Jax Taylor and James Kennedy both went to therapy, but not together. Although they probably should.

It’s the day after the inaugural TomTom party and Lisa Vanderpump hasn’t had a hangover since 1985, aka before Tom 1 and Tom 2 were born… Oh, wait: everyone on this show is pushing 40, which makes them older than me. And they’ve definitely given LVP enough headaches to quantify as a hangover.

The Toms are overjoyed with their first event. They were ready to spread the doors wide to the public at large. Tom 2 wants a gold star on his chore chart.

Lisa reminds them that there’s no gas (or ice). James was spinning records in the utility closet sitting on 2 Costco mega-packs of Charmin Double Ply. 

Vanderpump Rules - Kristen Doute

Tonight on Vanderpump Rules Lala Kent rewards the girls for no longer calling her a whore by taking them on a private jet to Solvang Wine Country.

Of course, since this is Vanderpump Rules, aka NeverNeverLand for drunken delusionoids, Kristen Doute acts up and embarrasses everyone. Of course hinging your life’s worth on a private jet is embarrassing enough so I can’t imagine how bad Kristen must be! 

Vanderpump Rules - TomTom Opens

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules TomTom finally opened its doors in the frantic, frenzied, disastrous way you’d expect from Tom 1 and Tom 2.

Welcome to Mr. Tom’s Wild Ride – first stop the deluxe modern apartment of one DJ James Kennedy, who will have his reintroduction into SURciety by being the inaugural DJ at TomTom. Trust me – it sounds like a much bigger honor than it actually is. With havoc on the homefront and no ice at the bar, Lisa Vanderpump quickly realizes she needs the Toms temporarily distracted. So, she dispatches 5% personal assistants to wrangle menial tasks. Tom 2, as always, drew the short straw and is forced to go discuss the music with James.

As he waits for Tom’s arrival James works on his apology letter to Mandall, the entree nous he needs to get back into Lala Kent‘s homie status. Raquel LeViss is not impressed with James’ labors of Lala-dom. 

Vanderpump Rules - Jax Taylor

On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules the teartini is replacing the pumpini, because oh-oooooh: Everybody’s crying!

Jax Taylor is celebrating the last birthday of his 30’s but he’s still fighting with his mom about the way his dad’s cancer was handled. She doesn’t even call him on his special day. As Jax struggles through his first birthday without his parents a flood of emotions come pouring out. 

Instagram Roundup

There’s nothing like some mother/child time, right? Kelly Dodd took her daughter Jolie to Phoenix via private jet. How Lala Kent of her! Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans took the low key route. She just posted a selfie with her baby girl.

Kristin Cavallari shared photos with her children taking care of a baby bird. Shamari DeVoe shared a throwback photo breastfeeding her twin boys. This is probably going to get some attention, because… well, it’s 2019. People are just looking for reasons to be offended these days.

Vanderpump Rules - Ariana Madix

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was inspired by 70’s icon Olivia Newton John who implored everyone to “get physical” – although may be not in illegal situations (i.e. a moving vehicle) with inconvenient partners.

So first we must discuss Tom 2‘s new hair color. It is rather reddish, like a Burnt Sienna crayon from the Crayola big box of 64 colors. It is best described as Raggedy Andy. Which is basically Tom’s whole life: loafing around WeHo, skulking behind Katie Maloneys rage, just awwww… shucks-ing while drinking his blues into oblivion near every open bar.

This morning’s ‘le sad emoji’ is because Lisa Vanderpump is still refusing to reveal the interior of TomTom because it’s not ready. Tom 1 is even more devastated. He had his outfit all freshly pressed and ready to go when they got the call letting them know takeoff had been delayed. Again.

Tom Sandoval Tonight the Vanderpump Rules crew parties too hard and experiences lapses in judgment. You know, something new and different! Except for this time, Tom Sandoval also jeopardizes his relationship with Ariana Madix by sharing details about her personal life in mixed company. Oopsie. First, everyone visits Scheana Marie‘s new shrine, aka the apartment where she lays her massive self-photo collection. But Scheana isn’t just showing off her new place, she’s also showing off her new man by revealing that she and Adam Spott have finally gotten physical.