To quote the immortal N’Sync, whose reputation is sullied by an unfortunate association with Vanderpump Rules, “I know that I can’t take no more, It ain’t no lie, I want to see you out that door, Baby bye bye bye.” And yes, I have had enough!
More than enough of Bravo claiming to support human rights and equality, yet, at every turn employing people who are misogynistic, racist, bigoted, and homophobic. I’ve certainly had enough of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright. I’ve never cared about their love. Which seemed about as deep and stable as a damp cardboard box that Amazon left on your porch while you were crashing at your Tinder hookup’s place (basically Scheana Marie‘s version of marriage).
I’ve never had any interest in their greasy, fishy proposal. Or their Pinterest FAILED IT wedding planning. I can’t with Brittany’s increasingly amped up southern drawl and raspy cackle, or the way she douses herself in tequila like it really can kill off STDs (or kill off the lurking knowledge that her marriage to Jax is fake, and that he will always and forever cheat).
Last night Vanderpump Rules celebrated the annual SUR rite of passage: PRIDE!
In order to survive in this alternate universe known as Lisa Vanderpump Land, which at this point is indistinguishable from Lisa Frank Land (and one will equally find themselves trapperkeeper’d), one must dress up in rainbow paraphernalia, endure hours of Scheana Marie warbling “Solid Gold” on repeat, and have a hysterical selfish meltdown about their heterosexual relationships while ostensibly celebrating gay rights. This time, for the second year in a row, that prideful accomplishment goes to James Kennedy.
That’s right, bitches, the White Kanye is back and he came to lead his flock in verse and song of rage. And proving that James is here to resuscitate Vanderpump Rules he was even wearing a “Life Guard” man-tank with matching visor, like something out of a Ken Doll box.
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve missed watching James Kennedy on this season of Vanderpump Rules. Instead of his antics, we’ve been bombarded by Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s pre-wedding activities, Kristen Doute’s feud with Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney, and the 13,534 new additions to the cast.
However, James makes his return tonight, and it’s far from triumphant. Lisa Vanderpump suspects that James had been drinking again, which he probably was. He also gets in a fight with his girlfriend Raquel Leviss. Yes, she’s a cast member now too.
Style is a subjective thing. For the most part, it’s impossible for all of us to agree when it comes to liking an outfit. Nevertheless, a lot of us become fashion critics when a public person wears an unusual outfit.
Yesterday, Vanderpump Rules stars Stassi Schroeder, Jax Taylor, Tom Schwartz, Brittany Cartwright, Beau Clark, and Katie Maloney appeared on a pre-Oscars special for E! News. It was a cute segment where they played pictionary. However, no one really cared about what was actually aired. Instead, a lot of people made comments on Katie’s outfit choice.
This Kristen Doute vs. Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney feud is a case of she said, she said. Even so, we still are just getting a bunch of vague quotes, well, for the most part.
Recently, Kristen threw out a theory that she thinks Stassi and Katie ditched her because she’s single. And that theory did not sit well with Stassi. So much for Kristen’s hopes of getting an invite to Stassi’s wedding.
Vanderpump Rules former queen bee Stassi Schroeder has come a long way from the friend punching, drink throwing, temper tantrum having girl we first met during Season 1 of the show.
While the cast have started marrying off, Stassi was ready to trade in the wine bottle for the baby bottle prior to her engagement. Can we say Mommie Dearest?
Not every look is a fashion hit. There are so many new trends all the time and there are just some fashions do not work on every single person.
A lot of people can agree that Stassi Schroeder has the best sense of style on Vanderpump Rules. Yes, I know that’s not a fact and merely an opinion, but there are lots of people who have made fashion mistake after fashion mistake on this show.
When Vandeprump Rules first started, Stassi Schroeder put Scheana Marie through the ringer at SUR. She had Scheana excessively polish the silverware and glasses. Stassi also threw many digs at Scheana for having an affair with Brandi Glanville’s ex-husband Eddie Cibrian.
Fast forward to Season 8, Scheana is still a waitress at SUR (which makes no financial or logistical sense to me) and she’s hazing the new girl Dayna Kathan. She claims that she’s “training” Dayna, but all know that she’s just mad about Dayna hooking up with Max Boyens. However, I’m sure Scheana is over him now that those racist tweets have resurfaced. Oh, and Scheana does have a boyfriend now. Ariana Madix said it best when she declared, “you either die the hero or live long enough to be the villain,” i.e. “you either die a Scheana or live long enough to become a Stassi.”