Teairra Mari

Finally. Love & Hip Hop Hollywood is following the trend it created by introducing a bunch of peripheral characters in one episode that we’ll struggle to keep up with for the remainder of the season. It’s about time. Last night’s episode begins with Brandi confronting her husband Max in the studio. The trifling hos didn’t know he was married because he’s neglected to wear his wedding ring. Not okay, especially according to this newbie player! She unearths his wedding band from her suitcase size purse and holds it up as proof for the ladies who were draped across her man. Again, it’s the girls fault, not so much his. Max and Ray-J drag the tiny Tasmanian devil out of the studio, but she puts up quite a fight. She screams at Max about how he’d feel if she was out without her wedding ring. HOW WOULD HE FEEL? I’m guessing he wouldn’t care all that much.

Kamiah is still reeling from being deleted from Lil’ Fizz’s menu, and she’s meeting with celebrity blogger Jason Lee who spouts off his Hollywood resume like I order my weekly Bo Jangles. Kamiah recaps the downfall of her relationship with Fizz which started with her moving her stuff into his place and ended with a rock wall break-up. She recalls Fizz’s erectile dysfunction while Jason foams at the mouth. He can’t wait to post this madness! He reminds her that she needs to be focused on a man that can rise to the occasion. Pun intended.

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Do y’all know how frustrating it is to talk to AT&T technical support to complain about spotty internet and cable, explaining I need it for work, only to have the technician (who is in a time zone 12 hours ahead) that I shouldn’t be working so late? Is that the point, ma’am? Gahhh, the things I do for Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. Of course, I don’t want to miss a second of Soulja Boy’s antics, but it’s my job. The people have a right to know how whiny Ray-J is at any given minute and just how shady Teairra Mari is being to her “friends.” Enter Hazel-E. We all know the history between these ladies is complicated, but I believe that Teairra always holds the upper hand. Hazel gets her former roommate to concede to an inappropriate relationship with Berg where her music was concerned, there was no knee bending in a back alley. Win-win?

Ray is meeting with newbie Brandi (not his sister, I repeat, not his sister). She’s Whitney Houston’s goddaughter, and her husband Max Lux is a big time producer. If you forget that halfway through the episode, she’ll remind you again. Ray complains about the new found friendship between Princess and Teairra, and Ray makes the mistake of saying he’s going to working with Max on some “music.” Brandi is fully aware what it means for Max and Ray to work together….side chicks. 

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If last week’s premiere of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood was any indication, this season could prove to be as entertaining as its Atlanta counterpart! Sure, Ray J is no Stevie J, but Princess can fight with the best of them, Omarion is endearing, Soulja Boy is sure to be as ridiculously juvenile as last year, and can we just talk about the fact that Moniece is responsible for a Rich Dollaz crossover? Let’s not forget Miles and Milan’s love that Miles doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with friends and family…only with hundreds of thousands of VH1 viewers! Keep up the momentum, folks! 

Last night’s episode begins with a swagalicious Soulja who is in a good place with on-and-off girlfriend Nia. Like every other woman on this show, she’s quick to complain about her beau’s infidelities, but even quicker to forgive. Lil’ Fizz is working hard on a mix tape, and he’s excited to catch up with Soulja. Fizz brags about embracing the single life, and Soulja can relate (sorry, Nia). Nis is his ride-or-die chick, but when he’s on the road, he’s on the road. Soulja claims Nia is fully aware of his road chicks (is she?), and she knows she’s the only girl in his heart. Speaking of players (of the reformed variety), Rich is head over heels for Moniece. While their relationship is fairly new, both are hoping for home run. For Rich, that means, he’s planned a sexy date. For Moniece, that means she wants Rich to move to the West Coast and meet her son and spend time with her family and reverse his vasectomy (or did she say get a vasectomy? Either way…whoa). Sexy talk! After dropping those bombs, Moniece turns on the charm to get their romantic dinner back on track.

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Hasta la vista, Atlanta. It’s time to say hello to Hollywood. Last night was the premiere of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. In case you missed it, Soulja Boy hasn’t gotten any smarter (nor have the ladies who love him), Hazel E isn’t making better decisions, and Ray-J is every bit as whiny as you remember if…if not more. The episode begins with Teairra Mari, Moniece, and Apryl Jones are lounging on the beach, with Moniece revealing she’s in a relationship with a new man who shall remain nameless–for the time being at least. Teairra has washed her hands of her relationship with Ray-J, and the women revel in the gossip of Princess’ recent arrest in New Orleans on the heels of an altercation with Ray. Apryl, sporting a new nose ring, interjects to say she’s planning a post-baby party, but she’s invited her new friend Princess. Teairra promises that she’ll behave if Princess can do the same. Apryl hopes she’s able to be the bigger person.

Across town, Hazel has ditched her obsession with Berg and is back in the studio with producer Milan. She’s mourning the recent loss of her grandfather and was surprised that former friend Teairra reached out to her after his funeral. Milan has been seeing someone for a while, and he’s ready to get married and start a family. It’s a conversation he needs to have with his love, although he’s not sure how it will be received. He is apparently the antithesis of every other dude on this show.

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