Raise the anchor because it’s reunion time, yachties! The entire Below Deck Mediterranean crew is back and dressed in their best whites to hash out a season’s worth of drama on the high seas. Well, most of them, anyway. And just like most Bravo reunions these days, this year’s proceedings will be entirely virtual. Though this time around, the decision is just as likely to be about logistics, what with the entire cast spread out around the world.
Captain Sandy Yawn seems to be only one landlocked, stuck at her apartment in Colorado with the protective foam corners still stuck on the frame of the artwork behind her head. Meanwhile, Hannah Ferrier is eight months pregnant in Australia, where she filmed the reunion at four a.m. The rest of the crew is scattered everywhere from London (Malia White) and Long Island (Alex Radcliffe, who’s blessedly shirtless in the opening montage) to the islands of the Bahamas (Bugsy Drake) and Martinique (Kiko Lorran). Meanwhile Rob Westergaard and Jessica More are both in Florida, but definitely not together.
This is it, yachties. Congratulations. We’ve done it. We’ve reached the end of this seemingly never-ending charter season on Below Deck Mediterranean. Is it just me, or has it been the longest season in Below Deck history? (It has. I just checked.) And with a two-part virtual reunion to go, we’re not technically done yet, but as they say on the high seas, a finale is a finale is a finale. (Do they say that though?)
Maybe the season just felt extra long coming after the first season of Below Deck Sailing Yacht, which I actually quite enjoyed. Maybe the near-constant cast turnover made it feel like the season never got its sea legs. Or perhaps it was the combination of Tom Checketts‘ spoiled brat tantrums mixed with Rob Westergaard and Jessica More‘s confusing relationship drama that dragged the season on and on. Yeah, it was definitely that.
As I sat down for this week’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean, I had one distinctly iconic Bravo-ism flash through my mind. “Please don’t let it be about Tom.” I just couldn’t handle the thought of having to sit through another week of Chef Tom Checketts‘ temper tantrums and histrionics taking center stage. I’ve ranted about them. I’ve railed against them. I’ve written about them ad naseum for what feels like the entire back half of the season now. And the Bravo gods seemed to hear my plaintive cries because, for the first time in Bravo history, it wasn’t about Tom.
Instead, we were treated to a full hour of Jessica More and Rob Westergaard‘s boatmance completely unraveling in the space of a single day. We’ve known since the pair’s first appearances on Watch What Happens Live that this was coming. But as the season inched toward its end, I was starting to wonder when we’d see the sinking of the ship rather than just the iceberg from 100 miles away. Err, kilometers? Knots? Whatever the unit of distance between ships and icebergs is to complete this apt metaphor for the couple’s doomed love affair.
Ah yes, the Stud of the Sea is once again floating on the waters of the Caribbean. Below Deck is back and Captain Lee Rosbach is bringing an old friend with him. I can’t be the only one happy to see Captain Lee at the helm of My Seanna. Especially after the messy and mildly traumatic season Captain Sandy Yawn brought us on Below Deck Mediterranean. Thank goodness the two captains lead with very different methods and we aren’t likely to see Lee saying someone is secretly gay on a Cameo.
There’s a new cast, but you might recognize one or two faces. Season 8 promises to bring crew dissention, wasted guests, and Captain Lee’s expertise as a wordsmith. How can you not reflect on some of his wiser quotes like, “We’ve gone through more deckhands than a condom salesman in a whorehouse.” Certainly didn’t get inspo like that from Sandy… Grab your life vests, the new Season 8 trailer has officially dropped.
Malia White has appeared on two seasons of Below Deck Mediterranean. During season 2, she was promoted to lead deck hand, and on season 5, Malia joined as bosun. Malia is undeniably successful, diligent, and competent at her job.
However,Malia’s love life on both seasons overshadowed her professional successes. First, Malia maneuvered a love triangle with chef Adam Glick and bosun Wes Walton. Now, Tom Checketts’ short temper is the main event. Since Tom joined the crew, Malia has spent most of her screen time coaxing him out of the bathroom and diffusing his temper.
Bad news, yachties. If you thought Chef Tom Checketts‘ temper tantrum last week was the worst we’d see of him this season, would you believe me if I said it’s about to get worse? Or better, depending on your appreciation for drama in the Below Deck Mediterranean galley. Either way, you’re in for a disappointment. Or is it a treat?
Last week’s episode ended (once again) with Tom mid-fit. Remember? Quick refresher: the final charter of the season was about to start. The high-maintenance mom squad of guests decided to arrive an hour early. Now everyone’s frazzled and rushing. But no one more so than Tom. Because (also once again) there’s a problem with the provisions. Or, the quality of them, rather. Something about too-warm fish being replaced with frozen fish? Considering this recapper originally hails from the (landlocked) Mountain West with a strong aversion to seafood, I’m not the one to be asking about the qualifications of decent halibut.
Welcome back to Below Deck Mediterranean. You know, home of spoiled British brats throwing tantrums over cucumbers. Last I spent the majority of my recap railing about Tom Checketts‘ ego-centric histrionics and vile treatment of Aesha Scott. And if you think that won’t continue into this recap…well, you don’t know Tom.
This week’s episode picks up right back in the middle of the cucumber confrontation, where Aesha is tasked with explaining the basic principle called empathy to the furious chef. Tom literally doesn’t understand the concept. By saying “I’m sorry,” Aesha was simply trying to validate his feelings in the moment. She wasn’t personally apologizing for anything she did. Because guess what? She didn’t do anything wrong! It’s honestly infuriating watching Tom berate the poor girl to the point of tears. Infuriating and sad.
Next to no one is a Malia White fan if they’re watching the current Below Deck Mediterranean season. Well, now, people are actually coming to Malia’s defense for the first time. This is because Captain Sandy Yawn took it upon herself to claim that Malia is “secretly gay” in a Cameo video.
She also said that Below Deck Mediterranean producers felt the same way. Who does she think it is? It is NEVER OK to out anyone’s sexuality ever. As a gay woman herself, I assumed Captain Sandy would know a thing or two about that, but apparently, that’s not the case. Now, Malia is responding.