Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Family Business

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, new friendships were formed and relationships tested their boundaries as Peter and Cynthia struggled in their marriage and Phaedra and Apollo came together for the purpose of a new family business. Kim spends the whole episode annoyed that she has to parent her teenaged daughter – cause you know she has more important things to worry about like her 65 thousand gaudy-a$$ sofas. Does she feel bad every time she makes her husband move Big Poppa’s crap around?

Things start out in Phaedra’s kitchen where she is talking to her mom about opening her funeral home, Funerals Worth Dying For or Fabulous Funerals by Phaedra. Phaedra wants to leave a legacy for her son and thinks a funeral home is a way to do so. Isn’t she a lawyer – Ayden can’t take over the firm? Anyways, Phaedra is envisioning events, not funerals and her plan is to “throw ‘em in the ground with a bang!” There’s only one problem – Apollo has no interest in the mortuary business. No interest at all. Phaedra decides since he likes driving and is strong he can pick up the bodies and transport them to the mortuary. In fact, he can swap out going to the gym for lifting bodies since it’s such good exercise.

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Cynthia and Papa Smurf Peter are having a date night at a dance studio. Cynthia isn’t much interested in dealing with Peter anymore and is still really upset that he ditched her at the agency opening. While waiting for the instructor the two get into an argument about Peter’s attitude and his responsibility to their marriage. Peter’s defense? If Cynthia doesn’t like it – leave.

The dance instructor shows up just in time to circumvent a blow up and issues some prophetic words – if both of you try to lead they’ll be a fight… I think Cynthia needs to take the lead on filing for divorce!

Kim is having a hard day – her infant keeps peeing on her designer, her teenaged daughters are sassy and defiant, and nothing is more stressful than having a baby and supervising the moving Versace china. Sweet little Arianna warns her mama that she is a girl after Kim’s own heart, and lets Kim know that when she dies, Ariana wants her money. Reap what you sow, Kimzie!

Brielle, who is hot in teenager mode, is sick of the move and is totes unhelpful with the baby. Kim’s approach is to snap at her and yell. Kim claims the girls have been babied and are spoiled – and are slightly afraid of Kroy being the man of the house. Kim understands Brielle is acting out for attention, but since it’s all about her she’s annoyed that she has to deal with it.

Kandi and Lil Ronnie are meeting with Jo Dee Messina to write some songs. Kandi is nervous working with an artist who is already a big deal in the country music scene since she is a newbie when it comes to that type of music. Jo Dee is so sweet and down to earth and I love her kitchen! Kandi rubs all of Jo Dee’s awards for good luck in getting a number one hit, but things start out on a rough note as Jo Dee has a lot of feedback and revisions for what Kandi has written.

Kandi was so nervous! It was kind of endearing. In the end, Kandi starts feeling much more confident about working with Jo Dee and branching into country music. To celebrate going country Lil Ronnie buys Kandi her first cowgirl hat! Yee haw!

Ahhh… NeNe. NeNe meets up with Marlo, who is wearing some sort of Muppet shirt. Marlo decides to suck up and order some of NeNe’s wine – Moscato if you didn’t know. Mos-yuck-o if you did! NeNe reveals she has no issues with Marlo over the Charles rumors, yet Marlo confronts her immediately about the nature of their relationship and it being all over the place. Apparently, even her nieces and nephews have read about it on the blogs — supervision, anyone?

NeNe puts it out there – she and Charles had one drink together and he has never seen her hello kitty and she is so over it – Nene has moved onto a different creepy guy! Marlo tries to issue a lil threat that it better not end up being true… then she let’s NeNe know she has a criminal past to really seal the deal. Most specifically that she’s been arrested SEVEN times.

Dating a football player = 1 in a million, being arrested seven times = lots of money in lawyers and bail, leaving NeNe speechless = priceless! Kudos for Marlo for being up front with things, I suppose! NeNe is suddenly over the whole active listening thing and the big footed new friends decide disclosing is so yesterday — let’s shop! In a debate between listening vs. Louboutins; red bottoms win every time! Charge it! (anybody else a former Mall Madness lover?)

Back at Kim’s palace of bratty teenagers and Big Poppa’s furniture, Sheree shows up with yoga mats, a Birkin and some jeal-ly beans. Kim reveals her new diet plan is walking the halls of her enormous mansion, leaving Sheree nostalgic for her days as a professional athletes wife. Sheree decides Kim should start working out since she has quit smoking! AHAHAHAHAHA! Doesn’t she remember the last time Kim worked out, she stopped to get beers at the convenience store?

Sheree encourages Kim to think of how in shape Kroy is while doing leg lifts and then concedes to the fact that Kim is more the wham bam thank you man, plastic surgery type. Over juicing Kim gags and talks about Brielle’s behavior. I swear Kim was going to start making fart jokes – I mean we know she’s never eaten a vegetable before with her steady diet of chardonnay and pizza.

Phaedra is meeting up with Willie Watkins. Speaking of gagging, Apollo looks like he is going to puke at the thought of seeing dead people being cut open. Phaedra apparently likes vampires which explains her interest in the mortuary business according to Apollo. Phaedra still envisions a family business so hopefully she can convince Apollo!

NeNe hobbles across the cobblestones to attend the Captain Planet Jewelry Benefit with Marlo – I’m guessing these two are here for the jewelry and not for the saving the planet as NeNe arrived in a huge SUV. What is with Marlo’s very voluminous and busy outfits – this latest get up looked straight out of The Jetsons with popcorn stapled on it. Did she get a Project Runway reject? She made NeNe look downright chic!

NeNe is still having difficulty reconciling the modern fauxcialite with the ex-con behavior of her past. NeNe is also having trouble comprehending this whole green thing — the only green she understands is money and envy! But no worries cause she’s a cameleon (a.k.a fake-meleon) so she can go green if the social climbing calls for it. In fact, that’s just what Marlo and her have in common! And the very very, very rich Trump check cashing Ms. Leakes elects not to spend 25k on earrings – after all she really attended to support a fabulous bitch – her new BFFL Marlo!

Apollo meets his fabulous wife at her office with flowers and an agenda – to discuss fabulous funerals! From a spiritual perspective he’s concerned about associating with the souls of the dead, which Phaedra reminds him have already moved on. Phaedra paints him a picture of putting the “boom in the tomb” with top hats, and carriages, and tuxedos, and flash and fabulosity. She’s like a door-to-door salesman! Maybe the boom in the tomb song can be on their commercials…

Phaedra convinces Apollo that his role can be schmoozing old ladies and escorting girls in mourning. Is this a funeral home business or a speed dating circuit? Apollo is in – for consoling families, of course. Actually, I think they are an adorable couple and I love Apollo. I hope Funerals Worth Dying For works out for them.

And moving onto couples who can’t agree on anything – Cynthia and Peter meet with the pastor who married them for some marital counseling. Pastor Pollard talks to the unhappy couple about learning to communicate. Cynthia shares that Peter doesn’t listen, while he talks over her and argues. Cynthia accuses him of being a dinosaur (that’s a good one!) who refuses to change his ways. Pastor Pollard asks them to say what they love about each other and Cynthia lavishes a whole hosts of compliments on her Tyrannosaurus Rex, only to have him tell her about the stuff he doesn’t like when it comes to their relationship. Right – so about those listening skills…

Peter finally answers and admits he loves his wife tremendously, but they do have issues with communication. Pastor Pollard gives them some good advice about focusing on love and Peter shockingly concedes that he needs to hear when he is wrong and likes having discussions with a third party. Hopefully he is serious about changing his ways!

Cynthia is glad Peter is accepting responsibility and taking the first step to work through his issues, but outside the church still seems distant from her husband as she admits that sometimes she doesn’t like or love him — though she is still in love with him. Cynthia relents that they both need a lot of work and they hug, agreeing to keep trying. We’ll see what happens …

Next week: Kim learns to shoot. Phaedra and Cynthia have dinner with their husbands to patch things up! And Mama Joyce tries to get NeNe and Kim to make amends! I can’t wait to see this!

Watch What Happens Live: The guests are Kandi (who is wearing WHAT?!) and Questlove. The celebrity bartender in the new WWHL bar is Chef Roble! A little catering competition occurs since apparently Questlove owns an awesome catering company (can he get his own show?!) and he brought Andy drumsticks with an origami heart. Oh man – I so need to get him to cater something. I love Questlove and I LOVE, LOVE fried chicken! If only I were rich… maybe NeNe will loan me some money!

The drinking game word is: Question. It seems the Jo Dee/Kandi collaboration was real and some of their songs might be coming out soon! I can’t wait to hear some of their stuff. Andy wants to know if Kim really quit smoking and an expression says it all… Hell to the no! Kim without a wig, a cigarette, and a white wine is like Christmas without Santa Claus! Questlove is afraid of Marlo after hearing about her stint in jail. Hehe.

Questlove predicts that Cynthia and Peter will not last! And Kandi is surprised Cynthia revealed she didn’t like Peter and she doesn’t understand. Andy reveals a disco NeNe walking in heels remix. LOVES IT!

Kandi answers a pivotal question about her Kim K booty and Kandi is emphatic that it is real. And Phaedra’s is bigger! Questlove is a surprising fan of Yo Gaba Gaba which he describes as a non-drug induced acid trip. Questlove is also a huge Soul Train fan and Kandi was on in ’93 with Xscape! Um… cue the vintage clip, Andy!!

The game is “Plead The Fifth” And Kandi doesn’t plead the fifth at all as she reveals she would rather drop NeNe as a friend than Kim. Cold!!! Questlove reveals Prince used his work without giving him credit. Whoa! These two are good guests! And Kandi is STILL waiting for her Tardy For The Party royalty check – even Questlove is shocked, but Kandi explains that helping Kim is what led to her new Bravo show!

Phaedra Tweets that Pastor Regina Bell wants to be in The Roots! Quest plays Plead The Fifth and won’t answer which celeb he would kick out of his concert, but then calls out Tina Fey for never being nice to The Roots.

The poll question: Will Cynthia and Peter Last? And 89% say no! Wowzers.

THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? DO YOU THINK CYNTHIA AND PETER WILL LAST? ARE NENE AND MARLO A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?

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