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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York our friend the Countess got a little handsy with a pirate. Who knew she was into role playing and kinky sex. Gag.

While it would appear that LuAnn de Lesseps dogged out on longtime boyfriend Jacques Azoulay and snuck Tomas, a pre-teen pirate, into her bedroom at a luxury villa in St. Barths, LuAnn denies the allegations. She claims that while it looks bad it was actually quite innocent and that she should never have told a “white lie” by denying that Tomas was at the villa. Remember she kept insisting it was “old Italian friends.”

“He gave me a ride home and wanted to see the house, so I brought him in. Then he left. That was it,” LuAnn insists to Life & Style.”I told Jacques exactly what happened. He and I are still in love and happy.” In fact, LuAnn says the couple who is allegedly trying for a storyline baby (should Jacques don a pirate costume to stimulate her ovaries?) are on vacation right now. Hopefully not in St. Barths!

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She clarifies further on her Bravo blog. “Do you think I would bring a man back to a houseful of housewives (and cameras) if I were planning on having an affair? My big mistake was trying to avoid the speculation and assumptions by telling a white lie,” LuAnn recounts. At least she admits to lying – first time for everything!

“The problem with telling a white lie is that once you say it, you have to stick to your story, that’s why I made the call when I heard that Tomas was coming for dinner that night. Never tell a fib because it can snowball out of control. LESSON LEARNED. As I write this, Jacques and I are on vacation and we couldn’t be more united and happy!”

LuAnn reiterates that the ladies know she is not a cheater. “But wait til you see who really gets Tomas?” she teases. Well, I dunno… I think Le Countess took a drunk ride on the high seas. Hopefully he shivered her timbers! And you know what – who cares! If Jacques doesn’t mind a little extracurricular bedfellowing, why should we?

“What seems to be great is great TV but nothing happened!” LuAnn also tweeted. And you know what – it was great TV! The numbers are in for last night’s episode and according to the Futon Critic it was the highest rated episode of the season with 1.8M viewers, 1M of them in the 18 – 49 range. I admit, it was a great episode – I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Moving on, it seems Sonja Morgan‘s money troubles are spilling over to her social life! Apparently Sonja was enjoying a night out at the Southampton Social Club last Friday night when she ran into a bit of trouble with her bill.

Sonja was ordering lavishly in the VIP cabana with friends but when the bill arrived she reportedly announced, “I never pay!” The New York Post reports that owner Ian Duke agreed to discount the hefty bill of $400 but Sonja still resisted taking care of the tab until the he threatened to call the police! Oh, that’s classy, Sonja.

Sonja insists that’s not exactly how things happened. She claims, “When the bill came, we saw it was almost $400 and said that doesn’t seem right.” She maintains that the owner said he would “comp a bottle” when she arrived. “We had a normal conversation. We said the bill was too high. He said it was OK and apologized. Then we stayed and danced.”

As for who finally ponied up for the check – it was Sonja’s date, “a very wealthy guy” who offered his credit card while she covered the tip with cash. She sure is providing a lot of details about how a bottle of tequila got paid for!

Sonja does admit there certainly was drama that night – but not with the bill! Apparently some RHONY fans hopped into the VIP section and started to get friendly with Sexy Sonja. Don’t they know only Pinot Singer has those privileges?

“These girls got very excited. Ten girls and three boys jumped the rope into our private section. I bruise really easily,” Sonja recollects. “This girl grabbed me. My intern had to tell her, ‘Don’t grab her!’ I got a bruise from this girl.” Wait – she brings her INTERNS to the clubs with her? Please… What happened to her very wealthy “date”?

TELL US – DID LUANN CHEAT? DOES HER REASON FOR LYING MAKE SENSE? DO YOU THINK SONJA TRIED TO SKIP OUT ON HER BILL?

 

 

 

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