Last week on Teen Mom, Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell tried to help their mothers cope with Carly's adoption, Maci Bookout made a mess out of Bentley's birthday, Farrah Abraham said goodbye to Sophia, and Amber Portwood agreed to give Gary Shirley full custody of Leah.
Catelynn and Tyler
Catelynn and Tyler buy pens and notebooks for college. I guess they finally figured out their major crisis.
Catelynn and Tyler visit April and ask her where she stands with Butch. April is torn. She knows she should probably divorce him… but she still loves him. Tyler completely understands. In other news, Catelynn looks beautiful. Her hair and makeup are perfect.
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Catelynn and Tyler have Catelynn's brother for the weekend so April can have some alone time. Oh boy, meet nasty Tyler. Based on some of the things he says to Catelynn, I always knew he existed. Tyler and Catelynn bring their dogs to pick up Nick. The dogs annoy Tyler in the car. Once they're home, Tyler spills his soda and yells a few beeps worth of bad words in front of Nick. Then, one of the dogs barks, and Tyler yells shut up.
Later that night, Catelynn is folding laundry while Nick and Tyler play. The good times end when one of the dogs poops on the carpet. Tyler completely loses his temper. Tyler swears, yells, throws the dog outside, and slams the front door. Tyler's outburst scares Nick, and he starts crying.
The next day, Tyler and Catelynn discuss Tyler's temper. He decides to talk to a counselor about it. Kathleen, the social worker, asks Tyler about his anger. Tyler reveals to her that part of the reason he chose adoption for Carly is because he never had a role model/father. Tyler thinks if Butch had been a better father to him, he might have kept Carly. Now, Tyler is bitter. When considers a future with Butch, he's still conflicted. Part of Tyler wants to cut Butch off, the other part of Tyler fears Butch will die alone and unhappy. Deep down, Tyler loves Butch, so he feel obligated to be there for him.
Kathleen explains to Tyler that when people are afraid, they act out in anger. Tyler comes to the conclusion that he needs to say goodbye to Butch and let him go, because he's positive that Butch will die before he recovers and Tyler cannot hold onto the anger any longer.
Tyler writes Butch a letter:
I'm not going to sugar coat this. This is not a good or happy letter. It breaks my heart to say this, but I have realized that I am not a happy person and I need to start fixing that. The only way to do that is to resolve the deepest root to all of my problems, which is you. Dad, I know you are a good person. I know that you have qualities, but, unfortunately, your bad ones outweigh your good ones. It's okay that you don't love me. I have realized that. I know that me and you will never have a relationship. If I continue to try to build one, you're going to continue to destroy it with your actions.
Tyler and Catelynn talk about Carly. Tyler was afraid to parent Carly, so he pushed for adoption. He thinks he would have messed up her life. Catelynn admits she was looking forward to raising Carly; however, she was afraid Tyler would leave her (them) if she chose to keep Carly. Catelynn asks Tyler if he thinks he made the right decision. Tyler admits he regrets it. Catelynn and Tyler are sad, but they take a minute to celebrate the privileged life Carly has with Brandon and Teresa because they made the decision to place her for adoption.
Maci and Ryan
It's Bentley's birthday – and he's with Ryan Edwards and his family. Maci calls Bentley on the phone. Bentley answers, "Today is my birthday at Mimi's house. You cannot pick me up." I love that kid! No worries, Maci just wants to tell him happy birthday. Back at Mimi's house, the Thomas the train birthday party is in full swing. They're all genuinely excited, and Bentley is beyond adorable.
The editing is way off – screen 1 – Ryan and Dalis are wearing Thomas hats, screen 2 – no hats, screen 3 – hats, and so on. It's distracting.
Bentley is thrilled to get a new guitar for his birthday.
Meanwhile, Maci is sad because she's not with Bentley on his birthday. Understandably. I'm just about to feel sorry for her, and then she says, "I just feel like I should be with him every year on his birthday, because he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me." Of course, since everything is about Maci. Kyle King starts to laugh, thinking she's being cutesy funny, but then he realizes she's dead serious. He quick reigns himself in and lets Maci continue. Maci talks about how she's the only one that has been constantly there for Bentley, adding that Ryan only parents when it is convenient. Thinking about 16 and Pregnant, I agree. However, Ryan has changed. Maci's just too caught up in her own fantasy world to see it. She goes on to say, "Nobody loves him like I do." Kyle hopes that one day they'll all get along well enough to enjoy one big party together.
Miraculously, Maci finds the time to visit her college advisor. Maci's current grade is an 80%. However, Maci's advisor tells her she could see an A, if she works hard and completes the required work. Maci says, "I haven't seen an A in an actual class in, like, three years." That's because Maci has barely seen a class in three years. Understandable, I guess, with all those yard sales and stuff. Maci thinks she is finally on the right college track. She says, "I tried to be super mom, and it was just a nightmare. Now, I realize I have to let Bentley go a little bit. I realize I have to take care of myself in order to take care of him, and that's by going to school."
Maci meets her friend Erica in the cafeteria. Maci shares her good grade news. Maci talks about how hard it was to take care of a newborn and deal with her troubled relationship with Ryan. When Maci mentions Ryan's name, Erica asks, "Why do you think there is always so much drama?" Maci answers, "I don't know." Erica says, "Sometimes I wonder if he still wants what he can't have [meaning Maci] or if he's just so mad … that he just doesn't want you in his life at all. I don't know if he can just be your friend." Maci says, "There's obviously still an issue, but I don't know what it is." Golly, Maci, I really have no idea either… could it be that you are fixated on Ryan?
Ryan needs Bentley's birth certificate for his custody case. He asks Maci for a copy, she blows him off. The almighty Maci cannot be bothered. Maci says to Kyle, "Maybe he wants to get more time with Bentley. Not going to happen. Maybe he doesn't want you and me living together. Not going to happen. Ryan can't even spell lawyer." Oh. My. Gosh. She makes me want to scream.
Maci complains to her mom about Ryan. She's angry. In Maci's mind, Ryan gets to pick and choose what he wants to do with Bentley. She says, Ryan can take the fun but not the responsibility. Maci's mom tells Maci to let it go. (Finally!) Maci asks, "Why is life like this?" Maci's mom says, "The only way to change what you're living now is to have gotten on birth control before you and Ryan decided to have sex." With that, Maci agrees to give Ryan Bentley's birth certificate.
Farrah is still wearing the gray booty pants.
Sophia is gone, so Farrah needs a new friend to talk to for the MTV cameras. Alethia, who is one of Farrah's neighbors, drew the short straw.
Farrah says, "Wow. It's like a whole other feeling now without Sophia being here. I was just, like, walking to class and thinking, wow, I don't really have anything to worry about. I was like, is this what it feels like to be single and not a mom? I have no responsibilities, and I haven't felt that way in awhile." New friend asks, "But do you feel bad because she's over there [in Iowa]?" Farrah avoids answering the question directly. Instead, she's simply says Sophia usually fills the void that Derek left in her life, keeping Farrah happy. Farrah loves to rewrite history where Derek is concerned.
Farrah says, "Everything is great, I guess, but I just have to not be sad about it." Then she makes that ugly cry face and cries a cry void of tears.
It's Farrah's turn to remind the viewers how much life changes when you're a teen mom. She's working on a class project with a classmate. Farrah tells her classmate about how her life took an unexpected turn when she got pregnant as a junior in high school. Farrah explains how things (like school work and flirting with boys) take longer when there's a baby/toddler in the way. Farrah says, "It adds a little bit more stress when I'm, like, you know, trying to be focused on my passion, which is cooking." It's a good thing she's in school… her cooking project is an ugly mess.
Farrah's semester is done, so Farrah travels to Iowa. Credit where credit is due – Farrah earns all As. The Farrah, Debra, and Sophia reunion is so sweet and playful, I almost forget that they're all bats**t crazy.
Farrah meets her sister for lunch. Ashley says she's going to miss Sophia when Farrah takes her back to Florida. Farrah says, "My Boo Boo belongs with me and my parents need to leave me alone and give me space. That's how I feel." This is ridiculous considering she asked her parents to take her baby for a month. She is truly one ignorant piece of work.
Sophia says to Farrah, "Mommy, you're a bad person!" Ouch. I can't even laugh. This isn't something a toddler says on their own. She's repeating something she heard from someone else. My guess, from Farrah telling Sophia she's a bad baby or Farrah saying Debra is a bad person.
Farrah learns that Ashley's boyfriend recently proposed to her. Farrah takes this opportunity to talk about Derek. Ugly cry face alert.
Sophia says, "You're a crybaby, Mommy." Then, "Mommy, you cry like a baby." Again… more repeated phrases learned from an adult.
Apparently, Derek proposed to Farrah when she was just 16. Their relationship was troubled, so she gave the ring back. Now, Farrah is worried she'll never be married. Considering the mess she made out of her relationship with Daniel (and Adam), that's entirely possible. Anyway, Farrah vows to accept any (lame) ring that comes out of any (challenged) relationship in the future. She says, "It's better to have the ring… and then work through things."
Debra thanks Farrah for letting her have "baby" for a month. Then, Debra asks when Sophia gets to come back again. Sophia very wisely hides around a corner. Farrah is silent. Debra suggest Christmas. Farrah says no. Now that Farrah doesn't need Debra, she's a bitch again.
Amber and Gary
Amber wants to move on with her life, so, instead of pursuing the much-needed outpatient therapy she promised, she gets bigger eyelashes, longer fingernails, and a new boyfriend. I'm skeptical of this "relationship." When Mike shows up at her house, he's all like, what am I supposed to do… shake your hand, hug, kiss? They settle for an almost hug with a last minute peck. Mike and Amber go out to dinner. Amber talks about what it was like having a baby at 17. (A recurring theme of the night.) She says it changed her life, and she admits she's still bitter. Amber tells Mike about the upcoming court hearing, where Gary plans on seeking full custody of Leah. Amber talks about her "vandalism" … oh wait, she actually says "domestic battery charges." Did you notice Mike's big gulp?
Amber says Leah is "such a little sweetheart," and Mike says "she sounds exactly like you." Hahaha. Best line of the night.
Gary knows about Mike. He's bummed.
They're all adults. This is not going to end well.
Leah is also celebrating her third birthday. Amber reminds us that she and Gary agreed to celebrate Leah's birthday after the court hearing, so they can all be together. The cameras cut to Gary setting up a princess-themed party at his house. Gary's friend Evan asks Gary if the party is okay with Amber. Gary tells him about the original plan, and then says, "Screw that." Evan pushes the issue, saying it's unfortunate that Amber cannot be at Leah's party. Gary shows his true colors… this party isn't about Leah… it's about Amber's new boy toy. Gary says, "We're not getting back together, so it doesn't really matter." Gary takes a picture of the party decorations and texts it to Amber. He adds, "Not that you really care about us, but Leah is going to love it." Way to be the better person, Gary.
Meanwhile, Amber is cuddling with Mike when she gets Gary's text. Amber crawls from her bed to her couch – she must be exhausted – to read the text.
Amber calls Gary. Amber says, "You sat there and told me we was going to do this next weekend – after the court date." Gary says, "You were the one who f***ed things up. I'm sorry. You've got your little boyfriend…" Amber asks, "What does that have to do with my daughter's birthday?"
They continue to argue. Surprisingly, Amber holds it together pretty well. Gary is being a major douche. Gary says, "This is the last time I answer your phone call." Amber does her norm – she leans back and holds her head. I'm convinced this is so gravity and her eyelashes don't conspire against her and use her tears to glue her eyes shut.
Amber dials Gary's phone again. The screen on Gary's phone reads "plain old Amber." Gary ignores the call.
Amber tells Mike that Gary is having a birthday party for Leah to punish her for hanging out with him. Amber said about Gary, "Like, don't put your own personal problems in front of your child." Mike sounds like he's been smoking pot. Amber now thinks Gary having full custody will be a mistake. Somewhere, Amber's mother is slurring, "Told you so!"
It's the day before the court hearing, so Gary calls Amber to remind her. Amber is sobbing. Amber asks Gary if she can see Leah. Gary tells her they're too busy. Next, Gary says, "Amber, I'm going to get off the phone. I'm not dealing with this." Amber loses her s**t. She screams, "What are you dealing with? You're keeping her away from me!"
Amber, "You're such a bastard, Gary!"
Gary, "Amber, you're such a whore."
Gary adds, "You're a slut puppy."
If this is anything like a slush puppy, I'm guessing Amber's flavor is Cheetos.
Amber, "I'm not a slut. I promise. I was devoted to you…. <screaming from both ends> I like this guy [Mike] a lot. It's not about him right now! <on repeat> It's about my daughter."
Wow. From here, it's absolutely horrible. They're both screaming and threatening each other. They each plan to get custody of Leah. Gary says, "CPS is in my favor, sweetheart." More yelling. Amber is crying about how much Leah means to her and Gary telling Amber to shut up. Repeatedly.
Gary, "If you want to see your daughter, shut the f**k up."
Amber, barely audible, "Stop telling me to shut the f**k up." Amber is starting to hyperventilate… she's falling over…
Gary, "I will never let her see you ever f***ing again."
Amber collapses on her bed, crying. Gary disconnects the call.
Gary tells Evan he will love Amber for the rest of his life, he's being selfish, and he wants to be better. Gary promises the fighting is over. Evan (and the rest of the world) laughs. Gary's like, "no really." Evan challenges Gary to prove him wrong.
The next morning, Gary calls Amber to prepare her for the court hearing. He's calm, she listens, and they once agree that Gary having custody of Leah is the best option for everyone involved. Gary tells Amber she can have Leah the next day. Gary and Amber walk into the courthouse… hand in hand… and I will honestly admit that this makes me cry. I'm balling. I don't even know why, really. We all know what happens to Amber… I feel so sad for Leah… such a sweet, beautiful little girl who deserves better.
Following the hearing, Amber is a peace with her decision. That's not to say she isn't sad but she accepts it.
Amber and Leah bake cupcakes together to celebrate Leah's birthday.
Happy Birthday, Leah!
FROM 16 AND PREGNANT TO TEEN MOM – HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SERIES? YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE?
Photo credit: MTV